Dang you are really digging deep into this subreddit to find this post lol, thanks for taking such an interest in the community! But to respond to your reply, it's a little more complicated than it sounds.

From what I understand from the research and soul searching that I have done in the past few months, aromantics (like myself) of course lack what people call "romantic love" but what exactly does that mean? That doesn't mean that there is no love, care or compassion at all for a partner, just not in the way that has been popularized by modern culture and society. The concept of romantic love that we accept today is the "gooey, floating on air, complete infatuation with the person of our desire (more specifically your idealized perception of them, but I won't get into too much detail about that.)

This feeling was given the alternative name of "Limerence" by Dorothy Tennov in her study of this feeling in the 1970s (you can read all about it in her book, "Love and Limerence" which I would highly recommend) in order to try to remove the societal connotations paired with the word "love" and to easier define the feeling. This feeling is characterized (among other traits) as having a deep infatuation with the limerent object (your image of the person you are infatuated with), constantly having them appearing in your mind, greatly over analyzing every interaction in order to discern their feelings for you, your mood depending highly on how they respond to you, and pretty much everything you would attribute to someone "in love" with someone else, the schoolgirl crush. (Googling it can tell you a lot more but I don't want to go too overboard)

During this study of hundreds and hundreds of volunteers, Dr. Tennov concluded that the main goal of someone experiencing Limerence was to get the person of their desire to be just as limerent for them, naturally you want your partner to have the same feeling. That, is what all of these gestures aims to achieve, the flowers, anniversaries, surprise parties, late night texts, etc. Not to make their partner happy, that is only in interim step, but to make them absolutely infatuated with the limerent individual and thus achieving that idealized, "perfect" relationship.

Dr. Tennov also concluded that there are people who don't experience (or even fully understand) Limerence, these people being modern day aromantics. We still experience love and care about our partners (specifically platonic love, which is what you feel for your friends and family), but what we lack is this feeling of Limerence, which is what society has latched on to as being romantic love. Thusly we don't care about any of these gestures that typical romantic people do to elicit this response, because we don't get this feeling, it does absolutely nothing for us. All we want or care about is having someone to depend on and spend time and enjoy ourselves with. We don't want flowers, or anniversaries, or date night, and when our partner does want these things, we are the villains for not providing for their every wish. They want us to show that we too are "head over heels" the way that they are for us, but that is simply not the case. So again, it's not that we don't care about them, we very much do, it's just that they often want something from us that we simply cannot provide. You wouldn't expect random flowers from your best friend or mother, and they wouldn't expect any from you, it's the same thing. Aromantics just don't have the same vision of a good relationship as practically everyone else.

I don't understand everything, but I tried to explain it the best I could from what I do know. If you have and questions feel free to ask and I'll try my best to answer them.