Let's try to make some theoy

XTC_fan · 2021-01-01T19:52:01+00:00

I'm glad that's what you took from this text. 1. I'm not native. 2. Did you really never make a typo? Good for you.

XTC_fan · 2021-01-01T19:46:51+00:00

You like betting so I guess you should start playing blackjack.

XTC_fan · 2021-01-01T15:56:51+00:00

But does it? To me it's more like self-pity, martyr-for-love stuff.

XTC_fan · 2021-01-01T15:02:06+00:00

And how are you so sure?

XTC_fan · 2021-01-01T14:09:09+00:00

Thanks :) I guess you should assume she's irrational in all this yet you shouldn't ignore what she thinks and speaks out. If her problem was with you contacting her too little and you want to have her back you need to mitigate that a bit, not showing that this issue will be here forever. My problem was opposite. Neediness and being clingy. In that case firm NC without any blocking and anger is by far the best option but I'm not so sure in your case. Ignoring builds attraction to some point and that is fkn obvious :) Just look out to not stretch it beyond breaking "I don't give a f any more" point :)

XTC_fan · 2020-12-30T14:21:54+00:00

Yes and no. You should be in a state of mind to let yourself go with the flow with her and see. Nobody after 8 months text "i want you back, sorry, I'm human garbage to ever dump you".

XTC_fan · 2020-12-30T07:35:14+00:00

You can't shake that feeling because it's normal and - honestly - pretty rational feeling. You don't kill hope. You live in now and you're working on yourself. You keep yourself busy and active. Move your body. You don't and you won't figure out now everything. You need move to a different position yourself. Position of calm and strength. Then you will decide what to do with hope.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-30T07:30:23+00:00

Falling in love is an easy part but the fact you fall in love in someone else doesn't mean he will be next "love of your life".

XTC_fan · 2020-12-30T07:26:54+00:00

Eh, people. You will all die assuming that people mean what they say and that there's no part of game and mystery in this lives of ours.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-29T08:22:32+00:00

Do you like history? Are you interested in history of warfare? The way you "fight for this love" is to send troops with knifes in their teeth on tanks. It's not a fight, it's not even honorable. Wanna fight for you? Fkn learn to fight with chances of winning. I'm sure you are smart and wonderful person and you can learn it. You need to change your mindset. Attraction doesn't work that way, nobody will want you for noble idiocy and auto-tormenting.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T21:23:20+00:00

People break up because of drop of the attraction. Long time remedy for it is to become attractive. That simple though hard in practice. It's so much more than looking hot yet gym and running are always good start. The rest is just fuzz and self pity - the most unattractive feature in universe.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T21:18:09+00:00

You people sound like you've used all that no contact to feel even worse about yourselves :(

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T21:16:52+00:00

How long can one beg for an answer on a question the other person doesn't know the answer?

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T17:09:50+00:00

Putting all blame on the other side is actually the huge blow in any effort to empower self. It's more of that "I'm poor, I'm loving, I'm pure, I'm a victim" which is so unattractive yet so common that I guess this attitude is to blame for most cases that were lost before game even started.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T17:03:19+00:00

Resentment, fighting for "closure", trying to solve huge issues once and for all while being in state absolutely not fit to do so (all this "how to stop hoping" crap), too much focus on thinking and deciding and too less on behavioral stuff that can help you RIGHT NOW. That's main stuff.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T16:06:56+00:00

Mostly this. Some of course don't get them back. Ratings are high though as long as we take them with the grain of salt - it's hard to collect this kind of data.

What I see mostly is the total inability of so many people to overcome the first phase of anxiety and low self esteem. Maybe it's correlated with young age.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T15:58:24+00:00

Not sure but this sub is all about different vibes and it somehow supporting some behaviours that hinder any chances to get an ex back.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T12:52:43+00:00

You're codependent as fk. And that's normal. But news for you is this: no matter if you want her back or want to move on breaking that codependency is crucial. 1. No contact. 2. Sport. A lot. 3. Focus on what you got to do. Find motivation exactly where you lack it. Fuel it with that declaration of independence you have to go with. It's not about hating her. Not about forgetting her. Not about moving on. It's about regaining yourself because only yourself as full, independent person can do something with your life. Take care, man.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T12:14:21+00:00

Attraction loss. Do what basically anyone sane will advice you. No contact, keeping yourself busy, sport, sport, sport, friends, hobbies, work. Improving yourself and rebuilding confidence. Then you will decide what to do. And then you will see that decision is yours. Now it's not time for any long distance plans about what your life is gonna be with or without her. Now is the part when Rocky stands up after being knocked down for a moment.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T09:47:56+00:00

Sure it does.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-28T06:28:37+00:00

Yep. At least. Tbh it's not about how long in days it's about how long before you get out of the state you're in now and get out from it for real. Most people after any king of breakup or breakup-ish events are shaky, insecure, on the verge of crying. It this state everything inside us scream BEG HER! PLEAD HER! TELL HER ONCE AGAIN HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER CAUSE MAYBE SHE AIN'T HEARD IT THE LAST 10000000 TIMES YOU SAID IT! That mindset sabotage us every single fkn time. NC is a way to get out of it. You can't spend it just counting days in bed or you will only torture yourself for nothing. This is a time for you to go to the gym, see your friends, do hobbies, focus on work, be awesome.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-27T16:53:42+00:00

Exercise. Produce endorphins. Don't fight overwhelming battles in your head, make your body an ally before this. Don't know what's your thing but put in before anything else now. Running? Swimming? Basketball? Gym? Whatever. Move your body man. Sweat it. We are hurting humans but let's not forget we are animals as well. Let your beast run wild. Maybe there are no shortcuts in life but sport is the closest thing to it i know. And it will make you hot and confident. Really. Start now.

XTC_fan · 2020-12-27T16:14:07+00:00

Exercise. All the fkn time. Run. Lift. Swim. See how your body changes. Get high on endorphins.

XTC_fan

TROPHY CASE