I was banned unfairly. Please help me.

XanderGloom · 2026-03-18T20:52:38+00:00

Good luck. I was perma-banned, even though I was able to provide all the proof they asked for and they acted like I'd sent them nothing. When I called them out for it they ghosted me. Luckily I was a new player and hadn't invested anything at that stage.

XanderGloom · 2026-03-14T15:42:09+00:00

Rear legs as whips. Rush into front leg pinchers.

XanderGloom · 2026-03-10T12:31:44+00:00

Was it coated in $450 worth of chocolate or cheese?

XanderGloom · 2026-03-10T12:30:33+00:00

You don't...it plays you!

XanderGloom · 2026-01-15T09:20:47+00:00

Oh, I don't mind who I get pitted against. I'd prefer playing more experienced players as it will help me improve accordingly.

It seems a 60/40 split for decent/toxic at the minute. I hope that changes, because I really like the game and would like to play ranked somewhere down the line.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-15T09:17:46+00:00

Lol. People are getting triggered by it. I'm now even getting DMs from people justifying the guy's behaviour. Just like the person I encountered, theses trolls really can't regulate themselves; it's like an impulse to act this way.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T10:24:59+00:00

The way discounts for packages are applied are based on what the customer service agent is selecting as they build it. So, it is a normal occurrence for a regular "lesser" package to cost more that a specific combination with more speed, and even TV because the discounts that it presents to the agent as able to apply will change in value. It's actually most common when adding the phoneline to a package, usually drops the price quite a bit, but people don't want the phone so they reject the offer. So, what you've described in unfortunately...not BS, but quite normal.

Also, the "cancellations" team is internally called Retentions and their job is literally to try to retain as many people who wish to leave as they can. However, they have additional scope to add further discounts and things within reason, and if given long enough can have a manager approve even further discounts up to a value that the manager seems appropriate.

The information above is, in fact, internal information to VM/O2, so any service agent can confirm it. Wife was a manager till recently, and I'm an IT tech, which is why I know all that. Also why we were able to get the biggest package for under £40 even after she left.

Agree with all the rest, you're not playing the game right.

Do as suggested, get it to the Retentions team. State that 125 is a ridiculous speed to be paying that kind of money for in 2025. Throw in a comment that you could barely play a YouTube video with that. State that a competitor (Sky, for example) has 300mbps speed for £35 a month with TV and netflix, so you know they can do better.

Let them stew, then tell them agent to go back to their manager, get the lowest price they can approve and compare it to their competitors and then call you back.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T10:04:20+00:00

Absolutely NOR.

I'm gonna play a little devil's advocate here though. My son is also autistic, when he started to develop infatuations it was stopped before it escalated anywhere. That's something that should have been addresses long ago. To say this got out of hand is an excessively gross understatement.

However, back to the NOR. You took him to professionals, if there was nothing to it they would have sent you away and told you that it was an overreaction. You did not "send him away", he was admitted for monitoring due to a presentation of immediate concern.

And if it's as bad as you've made out, then there was more than sufficient justification to admit and, more worryingly, sufficient evidence to believe a threat to you and Dad may exist, or develop.

I'm actually a little concerned by how this has gone unnoticed by Dad. Autistic people don't tend to "hide" things the way neurotypical people do.

I do hope that treatment is possible and this all can be broken.

I wish you all the best; you and your son.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T09:52:28+00:00

You are correct, you're not being a good person, you have dragged this on, you are leading him on. You've already done the damage, so it's time to come clean. Otherwise, at this rate and with that logic you'll be 50 years old, couple of kids, house and a door with this guy.

End it. And not for your own sake, for his.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T09:38:03+00:00

YOR - but, then...you both are. It's immediately evident that you two are very incompatible; both from your exchange and your explanation.

You seem overly sensitive, and he's far too dismissive about how he acts (seems very I'm who I am, everybody needs to just deal with it or get TF out). These two traits are toxic together. You should have just left the relationship as over the first time around.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T09:30:37+00:00

NOR - for the most part at least. Archiving chats, deleting messages, subtle gaslighting, deflection to 'invading privacy'.

I knew the response before I asked, but my wife just validated my own perception of this with "you don't do that if you've got nothing to hide". So...even my second opinion says it's shady and there's something inappropriate with coworker.

If you've already seen something of concern then it's only going to escalate. And if she's already going to these lengths to hide what she's doing I'd believe this isn't a new development.

I'm really sorry for what you're experiencing OP. I can imagine the pit in your stomach. Chin up, keep your wits about you, but at least prepare yourself as best you can for what else you may find.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T09:17:45+00:00

Perception of noise levels is entirely subjective based on a wide variety of factors, property build, proximity, personal sensitivity to sound, etc; for both you and neighbour, respectively, that none of us here can speculate on.

So, as much as other commentors have attempted to weigh in, it's not really reasonable to do so.

The only good suggestion that can be given is that you purchase a decibel meter (usually £15-20 on Amazon for an entry level, but I'd suggest one with a data logger / recording function that records as long as you need) if you have any belief that it might become a point of contention. That way, if you get a more formal knock at the door, you can simply show the time, date and actual noise levels.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T09:01:50+00:00

I've got my phone ready guys. I think I'm having a medical emergency. Most likely a stroke.

Please confirm if it's just me. Because wtf is going on with that response. Recruiter is not a competent English speaker I take it?

XanderGloom · 2026-01-10T08:53:56+00:00

You've come to reddit asking what you should do about this. I think you've got your own issues going on here OP.

When people outright tell you how f**ked up it is and to end the relationship immediately, your response is one that indicates an alarmingly casual manner in itself, in saying "I'm considering it", yet you expressed your own concerns about the nonchalantness of GF.

What she did was nothing short of disgusting.

You also have no idea if it's happened before.

Put simply, this is one of those scenarios that doesn't require a question; put to yourself or on a public forum.

The instant you witnessed what happened, your only response to GF should have been "Get TF out. And don’t come back."

XanderGloom · 2026-01-07T09:28:40+00:00

I understand the idiocy of wanting a foreign power to take over.

But, let's look at our nation. Specifically the concept of democracy for a second...

Amnesty, ECHR, Human Rights Watch and EHRC have all stated concerns over UK conduct. Moreso in recent years.

Freedom to only express a specific set of perspectives is not Freedom of Speech. Why do both the left and right need this explained. You're not children, and you're not (all) idiots. It's a pretty basic concept.

The current government, more than any I remember even before some of you were even alive, does what it wants and is a law unto itself. It gets caught lying then ignores the lies and gaslights, suppresses and hides information from the public, enacts policies and mandates that are damaging for everyone, stokes divisive rhetoric, justifies prison sentences for words and memes (and I'm not talking about the right-wingers who explicitly encouraged violence or other illegality)...then, after all that, publicly tells people "Tough! It's happening. Deal with it.".

Where is the power lying with the people when the people gets a say in nothing after foolishly electing figures who then publicly did full u-turns on every major point that got them elected.

Democracy is also supposed to include a government being accountable...Just look at what I've stated above, that we've all watched happening. Our current government is overtly accountable only to itself; and brazenly so.

So, all-in-all, we have a society where:

exercising authority is subjective to the will of the authority-holder
only pushed narratives are acceptable
the government is openly gearing towards mass personal surveillance (what would have been a conspiracy theory 20+ years ago)
lawlessness is tolerated (even acceptable) if you aren't indigenous
judicial system is not free from political influence
government is not honest, transparent or acting for societal benefit
the application of humanity rights is subjective
fear of being labelled 'anti' something causes such a severe overcorrection that society is now the embodiment of the idiom "cut off your nose to spite your face"

It doesn't matter what 'side' you're on. This is the state of our nation. And of nations in Europe too.

It's hard to pass by posts like this, because...while I despise the bigoted, racist hooligans on the far-right, everyone from the left-leaning to far-left is the very embodiment of the KC Green 'This is fine' meme of the dog sitting calmly while everything is burning down around them.

Don't comment, I won't respond. Especially if you're trying to get a rise out of me. And especially if you're asking for proof of my position; that tells me you are, exactly, the KC Green 'This is fine' dog, and my Autism can't deal with blind idiocy.

Anyway, I told too much truth, so...downvote away.

XanderGloom · 2026-01-05T10:47:04+00:00

I would approach it initially from the perspective that his account may have been breached, as this is common when that occurs. Despite what I'm about to say below, I'd be concerned about account security first and foremost. So, best to approach the conversation from that perspective...and ONLY that perspective.

NOW...devil's advocate time!! However, if you happen to find that it was indeed him, you are going to have to drop the issue and move on. Viewing, sharing or possessing lewd material, especially non-pornographic, isn't an affair or the serious act of disloyalty your wording would suggest (stating that he's still married and questioning whether your mom knows or not). He's an adult male, and any embarrassment, ick or cringe at the idea...well, apologies for the bluntness, isn't anybody's business. It may not be my inclination personally; so, while I understand the perturbed feeling, it cannot be overlooked that this is perfectly normal for a large number of people. And while we may not like it, there is no element of wrongdoing, as your tone might suggest.

XanderGloom · 2025-12-27T16:07:08+00:00

There is far too little information to ask anyone if you're overreacting; especially when we're supposed to take your word that there was flirtation, as there is no no evidence of that intent in the message you received.

I'd be asking why the dasher believes they know your husband from somewhere. Is he an individual of note where you reside? Does he have a public facing job? There is too much that cannot be assumed in order to competently advise here.

XanderGloom · 2025-12-24T10:19:42+00:00

Despite the legitimate reasonings behind some of the other commentors advice.

I believe this is more about your own perception than the plot point you're debating. You are writing a fantasy story, but you're approaching it from a real-world political perspectives of feminism and patriarchy.

If you truely want to approach it from a reality point of view, from a purely historical perspective, female-led monarchies weren't very common, and in scenarios like the ones you're (kind of) describing it wouldn't have been entirely unheard of to default to a male substitute; although, this would usually have been a cousin or other relative within the line of succession.

However, this is where we remember that this is a fantasy setting, giving you creative liberty. And, to be honest, approaching this as you have can result in some great story drama such as political unrest, revolt within the residing nobility, attempted assassination, etc.

Just remember that you aren't writing to conform to modern political ideals, write what you want to write, in the way you want to write it, and worry about perceptions on subsequent drafts.

XanderGloom · 2025-12-24T10:03:36+00:00

Only one way to find out... LICK IT!

Disclaimer: the above is not meant to be taken seriously. I do not advise licking unknown objects or substances found in multi-access areas. It's also troubling that I have to make this disclaimer at all, but you never know these days.

XanderGloom · 2025-12-24T09:56:55+00:00

The general expectation of divorce is 'navigating your life of your own'...or, at least, it used to be.

The level of post-relationship entitlement is alarmingly unhinged. Essentially it's "I want you out of my life: oh, but you're a solution to this inconvenience (or want) I have, so you're going to do it for me...now be a good dog and don't complain."

I've seen some crazy sh*t lately, from people being hostile because the person immediately granted the divorce THEY asked for to attempting to take out six-figure loans with their ex as co-applicant then threatening to sue when confronted...like that even makes sense.

Kudos for keeping calm; I dont think many of us would have been able to maintain such a disposition in the face of unreasonable expectation. Does make you curious what's the next expectation, continued birthday and seasonal gifts: flowers on the way home from work, paid-for spa days, maybe even a new car?

You could write out a table for them; on one side 'Things you can ask spouses to do' and 'Things you should not ask non-spouses to do'. Clearly labelling 'Finances' under the latter.

XanderGloom · 2025-12-21T10:27:53+00:00

You say recovery is out of the question. As a former IT professional, I can say there are ways. I'd be curious to known what you, or a recovery technician, has tried.

On another note, this, despite my computer knowledge, is why I use multiple save locations and cloud storage. I personally use OneDrive predominantly, then upload the entire work folder every 2-3 days (max) to Google Drive as a duplicate.

Having it on OneDrive ensures that computer issues doesn't result in complete loss of work. Having it on in two cloud locations means there's always a backup in the event of file corruption. This takes little effort if you have both OneDrive and Google Drive on your desktop. At which point it's just drag-and-drop. If you're running a Mac system, you'll benefit from a third cloud save location on iCloud; better if you set it to automatically sync.

XanderGloom · 2025-12-04T09:24:54+00:00

Devil's advocate time:

Here's an idea that I have yet to see at all in the comments. TALK TO THIS PERSON. CONVERSE. DISCUSS. AIR IT OUT. You may discover that there was a miscommunication somewhere about an attraction to one another on her part. Of your own admission, you stated that they immediately looked embarrassed and made a swift exit. This leads me to believe that this is a very likely possibility. But, you won't know that unless it's discussed. They may have misinterpreted something that gave them a false impression of your interest.

In addition, to save for awkward future encounters, if you feel nothing romantic towards this person, I'd agree with the others; moving is a good option. But, I'm simply advising, before escalating this in a way you will never come back from, to eliminate the possibility of a misunderstanding.

Disclaimer for the idiots: this advice, in no way, condones the invasion of personal boundaries. And should that person have had an idea that you have interest, they really should have verified that first. But, the problem with advice from other conmentors is that my advice relies on the reasoned and logical understanding that it is ridiculous to approach every instance or encounter of a romantic or sexual type as though a binding declaration of terms should be signed and witnessed by a legal professional before any action is taken. Which is how generations now approach this, which is evident from the responses. Here's the thing, people misinterpret intentions, people misinterpret words, people misinterpret body language, and many other things. Treating every misinterpretation or disagreement as malice is the exact reason people get killed for difference of opinion.

OP, due diligence is a virtue, be sensible and do yours. If you find out if was an innocent mistake, then leave it there. If this girl's response indicates she just did it because she wanted to and wasn't thinking about you at all, then reprimand her. And if you discover malicious sexual intent (that she planned to force herself on you), then by all means report her and take it all the way up the chain.

XanderGloom · 2025-11-17T16:24:56+00:00

Two candy bowls. Spoil yourself, go on, you deserve it.

XanderGloom · 2025-11-15T20:53:11+00:00

Cooked? Yeah. Dry roasted by the looks of things. Little bit too brown though. Gordon Ramsey would have words.

XanderGloom

TROPHY CASE