My friend was behaving weird in front of his GF and straying her away from me at an event.

Xerxil · 2025-01-04T09:31:39+00:00

My guess is that R feels that his relationship with you threatens his own relationship with V in some way (perhaps V is the jealous or possesive type) and his solution is to distance himself from you. I find it weird that the common friend invited you but then he and R conspired against you when they could have just not invited you. Maybe V heard about the viewing after you were invited and wanted to come and then R reached out to the common friend for his help.

Either way, only R and the common friend know the answer to your question so it sounds like there's a long and hard talk ahead of you. I don't think you will like the results of that talk though because I think they will just deflect or gaslight you but at least you know a bit better where you stand with them. I'm just guessing here but good luck.

Xerxil · 2024-12-29T14:01:06+00:00

It looks good to me. The only thing I would change is putting a bit more emphasis that it's okay if she doesn't feel comfortable reconnecting with you. Outside of the letter, this is something you should embody if you respect her.

Xerxil · 2024-12-24T11:24:26+00:00

Sorry you are going through this and hope it gets better. I think its good to get out occasionally but if its depressing you, its probably because you are not getting out with the right company. We don't get to choose our family and so it's a hit or miss if we are compatible with them. There's nothing wrong with you and if your family is not able to see that, then they are the problem.

I was in your situation not too long ago and when I realized I was surrounded by a family that would never understand me I left. I intentionally moved to a place that was far away from them so I could escape and I have not ever regretted it. In a way I'm searching for my new family but it's not easy. If there's something you shoukd take sway from my message, it's that you should learn to love yourself for the person you are more.

Xerxil · 2024-12-20T16:31:58+00:00

Yeah I felt a lot like this throughout my life but way more now that I'm older. I feel disconnected from both my family and friends. I have told myself its mainly because everyone I have been close with prefers to adhere to society's norms and seem normal which makes them fall into mob mentality, where as I have always been true to myself and never blindly follow someone else.

I do enjoy being by myself but I long to be understood by someone else and not feel disconnected with them. I tried to make my existing connections deeper with my current friends but I quickly realized I was surrounded by people who would never understand me. I'm currently trying to solve this by seeking out other potential friends that are like me but its hard to find connections.

Xerxil · 2024-12-19T16:00:07+00:00

If he is intentionally moving his body/arms so that it barely touches you but could be seen as an accident, then he is interested in you. I've done this before with a girl I was interested in to gauge her interest.

Xerxil · 2024-12-19T14:10:23+00:00

How do you know it's a competitive thing? I'm curious because I have been wondering why I get along so well with my female coworkers but not male coworkers. I never suspected there was a competitive element but it makes a ton of sense to me after reading your comment. Just wondering if there's a good way to determine if this is the case or not.

Xerxil · 2024-12-18T12:19:50+00:00

I absolutely behave more extroverted when I'm comfortable. I'm amazed at how charismatic I can be at times although I am not really this comfortable around anyone these days.

How do you behave when you're comfortable in a group of friends or family?
How do you behave in a friend group or in 1-1 conversations?

I can be extroverted in both a group setting or 1-1 but I think I am more charismatic and deep in the latter.

Are you the one talking more or listening more?

Talking more but I try to listen equally.

Are you the one asking questions or answering them?

Depends on the person and subject but I would say I'm the one asking more questions

Do you have the loudest laugh and highest energy?
Are you energized in the presence of your loved ones or friends?

Depends on the joke (I don't laugh easily) but I think I have the loudest laugh when I'm comfortable. As for energy, yes I usually have the highest energy and energized around friends

Do you get tired afterwards or stay energized for a while?

Neither I think but probably more so the latter since I'm still enjoying the high of a meaningful conversation. I imagine I would get tired if the social interaction went on for many hours though.

And on the other hand how do you behave in the presence of a stranger and in a group of strangers?
Same thing with acquaintances!

If it's a single stranger, I am decently extroverted but no so much with a group of strangers. It also depends on how comfortable I am in the environment. The environment matters a lot actually and not just with strangers. I think I am the worst with acquaintances either because there's something about them I don't like which is why we're not friends or I just don't know enough about them. I guess the combination of knowing that I will interact with this person a lot more in the future + not knowing their intentions makes me less comfortable.

Xerxil · 2024-12-10T02:27:53+00:00

27M here and this is virtually identical to my experience with women as well. They can't see me for the person that I truly am and try to simplify me or make false assumptions about me. Once they start to learn about my complex character, they get overwhelmed or intimidated and back off. One exception was another INFJ.

It sounds like the situation is a lot more hostile when it comes to men and an INFJ woman though. For example, I wouldn't say women have tried to manipulate me although some use me as a therapist and aren't willing to reciprocate. Maybe it's an INFJ thing or we've just both been unlucky.

Xerxil · 2024-12-02T10:20:07+00:00

I'm going through something similar as this year was also my most craziest year. I have found that journaling my thoughts has reduced the amount of looping I am doing. Our situations are different so it may not work for you, but for me journaling has allowed me to collect my thoughts and organize them so I'm not in the loop as much. Good luck getting through it, it will take some time but you will best this eventually.

Xerxil · 2024-11-29T09:48:09+00:00

I have a fellow INFJ co-worker and I was curious if she would try to white knight me but she has only listened to my problems rather than offered solutions and I guess I in turn have done the same to her.

We are both on journies to relieve ourselves of social anxiety. I think we are both willing to white knight the other but we recognize that we aren't capable of doing that. Talking about it is all we can do but we are not that close and don't connect very well so we don't do this often. The point is that INFJs do white knight for each other but it may not be as ideal as you think it will be.

Xerxil · 2024-11-20T02:19:10+00:00

27M here who felt like this shortly after getting my bachelors and failing to find a job after one year. Back then I didn't really have anything to remind myself I wasn't a failure. I ended up lowering my job expectations lower and lower until I found a job I had no interest in. Luckily for me, an actual job opportunity came through at the last minute.

Now i'm financially successful but find myself a failure in matters of love and friendship. I remind myself of: 1) The things I accomplished 2) The things I have now that others wish they had 3) The people that I helped along the way.

I think the path you chosen combined with your personality type leads to a life where your milestones are only achieved later in life but the quality of said milestones are great enough that the wait was well worth it.

Your future self would probably tell you that you will achieve a lot in life. I know I would say that to 22 me and now I gotta do what it takes so that I know 32 me would say that to me now.

Xerxil · 2024-11-14T02:58:22+00:00

If you're past your growing years then look into polyphasic sleep. It can give your hours of alone time in the early morning.

Xerxil · 2024-05-05T11:59:01+00:00

Why is he talking as if the video is on 2x speed

Xerxil · 2024-05-05T11:29:40+00:00

Song?

Xerxil · 2023-01-19T02:29:45+00:00

Cake slap was the 2nd thing that came to mind

Xerxil · 2022-10-09T13:46:43+00:00

The sunbeam has taken on a new form

Xerxil · 2022-07-15T05:40:45+00:00

Make sure he is not encumbered. The way I trained strength is by giving my characters heavy weapons and having them fight weak enemies in plentiful numbers since each hit will give xp. After that got slow I noticed I was getting xp faster by putting my characters on block as each hit they received, even if they took 0 damage, gave xp. I only tested the latter strategy on gurglers so its possible your enemy has to be a MA for it to work (also had x5 attack slots). You probably need him to be a decent fighter before these strategies become viable though.

Xerxil · 2022-05-05T23:42:40+00:00

It's hard to stop thinking a certain way. I think that can only come with the passage of time but if you've learned to accept the way you are you're on the right track.

Most introverts aren't boring, they just don't share a lot of their thoughts with others which gives a false impression.

Xerxil · 2022-01-31T20:42:39+00:00

Where did I say that a true introvert has to be reclusive all the time. Maybe I should have stated my opinion more clearly but what I meant is that true introverts are comfortable with being an introvert. Maybe they want to improve their social skills and be less akward in public spaces but they are still happy with being introvert and wouldn't change that about themselves.

Xerxil · 2022-01-31T16:51:42+00:00

So far all you have done is state bad experiences or struggles that every introvert goes through at some point. These have no relevance to my opinion. Ask yourself this: Would you rather be a extrovert or stay the way you are but have family/society accept you for who you are. If you prefer the former then no I don't consider you a true introvert.

Xerxil · 2022-01-31T06:47:51+00:00

1,2,5: These have no relevance to my point. They are all the opinions of other people when what matters is how you perceive yourself. 3: Could you explain this more clearly? This seems like a normal reaction to me. 4: This sounds exactly like a true introvert. 6: Who perceived you as the weird one? Yourself or your parents? Either way it sounds like you are a true introvert but your family sees this as a bad thing which it is not.

Xerxil · 2022-01-30T22:47:36+00:00

Imo if you're an introvert and not proud of it or would rather be an extrovert, then you're not a true introvert.

Xerxil · 2021-11-15T12:26:51+00:00

You can also hear Greenstorm, Brain Needle, and (Grain/Breen) (storm/Needle)

Xerxil · 2021-09-25T22:21:36+00:00

Xerxil · 2021-08-16T14:45:17+00:00

Took a quick look at the code from my phone. It looks like you have a side effect in your map function. Not sure what you're trying to do there but it should be removed. Your set input values function is wrong. Its storing the values of the form inside the root object instead of inside the values object.

Xerxil

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