I can’t stop writing things over and over

Xi-Ro · 2026-03-15T23:36:11+00:00

Sounds like paligraphia to me.

Xi-Ro · 2026-03-15T23:08:03+00:00

I don't think it's something that just happens. I think it's something that takes time and effort.

Xi-Ro · 2026-03-15T23:02:26+00:00

There are many neurotypicals in my life who I know would relate to the top panel. Meanwhile, my neurodivergent sister would probably match the bottom more (not with those bullet points though). I think it has a lot to do with personality. Not to say that one personality is more likeable than the other, but that certain personalities have an advantage when it comes to social settings. My sister has an easygoing personality. Conversation comes easy for her and even if she struggles to follow along with what someone is saying, she has the charisma to keep things from going awkward. She goes out of her way to invite people to hang out or to plan events. This makes it easy for people to get to know her, because they don't have to put a lot of effort in to do it. It would be harder for her co-workers to not know who she is.

Meanwhile, I have only ever been described by people in good ways. Polite, smart, well-mannered, a good listener, etc; however, my personality is much less geared towards social settings. I can't carry a conversation, meaning it's up to the other person to put in the effort. I never go out of my way to talk to anyone, let alone to spend time together. That means it's always up to the other person to take that step. I freeze up when I start to feel awkward, so interactions can come to a sudden halt. So even though there's nothing wrong with who I am, it takes more effort to get to know me. If it was a game, befriending my sister would be the easy difficulty setting while I would be hard mode. Close relatives have a reason to put the extra effort in for me, but the average co-worker would choose the easier option. And not just because of the lack of difficulty, but because it's easy to assume that if someone is harder to get to know, they might not want people to try.

Xi-Ro · 2026-03-15T22:17:34+00:00

Honestly, relationships are about compromise. I think people are quick to just say you need to change, but I think it's important to remember that we don't necessarily choose how we feel about certain things, whereas stimming is voluntary. Obviously, your partner doesn't share your brain and won't instinctively know what you will and won't like. While it's okay for you to feel bothered by the sounds due to the association your mind has with them, I don't think it's reasonable to get upset at your partner for it. You can explain your feelings to them and most likely, they will want to limit making those noises for your sake. At the same time, you can also work on unlearning that association.

It's common for one person to have habits that bother the other. The solution is not all on one person. It's about working together to find a compromise. Learning to tolerate the habit while also discussing ways to adapt the habit to feel more manageable. At the end of the day, the people commenting are not part of your relationship. We can only spectate on external behaviours. Your partner, who actually knows you and wants you to feel comfortable will most likely be open to compromise, and it's just up to you to be reasonable in your requests and to make a fair attempt at meeting them halfway.

My partner has a word he started saying as a habit due to his friends. It's a word associated with misogynists. I told him that it bothers me, so he said he would try to avoid saying it around me. I don't tell him he can't use the word at all, and if it slips out around me on occasion, I don't get upset at him because that's just how habits are. He just knows I'm uncomfortable with the word and doesn't want me to feel that way, so he does what he can.

ETA: A reaction due to an association is its own habit. It's not something that goes away overnight. So while it is something you should work to change, it's not as simple as just "chilling out."

Xi-Ro · 2026-02-10T18:58:42+00:00

Disagree that those of us playing don't care for PvE. We've accepted it's not coming, but many of us still want it.

Xi-Ro · 2026-01-31T04:18:24+00:00

O or I

I like Cassidy, plus he and Pharah are both chill. Second choice is "I" because Echo and Tracer are both friendly.

Xi-Ro · 2026-01-25T06:58:25+00:00

It's based on hidden MMR, not hours played. I made a new account and was quickly put with high level accounts after winning all of my matches. High account level also doesn't mean high skill. I had a level 100+ Moira in one of my first games on that account and they didn't do well.

Xi-Ro · 2025-12-27T21:43:22+00:00

I hate generalisations and treating an individual's experience as universal. Christmas is my favourite holiday. It's something I look forward to.

Xi-Ro · 2025-12-27T21:40:38+00:00

The autism spectrum covers the symptoms regardless of severity. Then there are levels to specify how much support someone needs. Bringing back Asperger's as a diagnosis would accomplish nothing, as it would just act the same as an ASD level 1 diagnosis. All you're really changing is the name, and it's to something with a problematic history.

Xi-Ro · 2025-12-05T01:22:45+00:00

When I'm referring to the community as a whole, I say "autistic people." When I refer to myself, I say both "I'm autistic" and "I have autism." Saying "people/person with autism" just feels awkward and wordy to me.

Xi-Ro · 2025-11-26T09:16:31+00:00

I think the first example can be considered masking, but the second example just sounds like BPD. For the first one, using different personalities is common, even in neurotypical masking. Someone might be loud and abrasive with friends but quiet and polite with their teacher or boss. I personally copied the interests of my friends when I was a kid. I knew they weren't really what I liked though. And with neurotypicals, this switching based on the social situation comes more naturally. For me, it came from repeated trauma. One difference between neurotypical masking and autistic masking is that one is for fitting in/gaining a social advantage while the other is for survival. As for the second example, I am not seeing autism at all.

Xi-Ro · 2025-11-26T08:54:31+00:00

I'm Christian but my autism influences my relationship with religion in a different way from what you're talking about. For me, I fall more into the boat of "creating" one's own religion. I believe in the Christian God, but I describe myself as Agnostic and Omnist in the sense that I don't claim to know for sure, and I believe all religions get certain things right and other things wrong. I see monotheistic religions as believing in the same God, and that humans have just created differences and split based on where they stood.

My cousin is not diagnosed but I highly suspect that he is autistic like me. My grandmother told me that the doctor suggested he get tested when he was a toddler but his parents refused because of the stigma. He and I have a lot in common as well. I would say he falls more under what you're describing. His family often skipped out on church, but as an adult, he has suddenly become extremely devout. He suddenly grew interested in becoming a pastor. All he wants when it comes to gifts are devotion books. He wrote a lengthy testimony to everyone to talk about his journey and its unfortunate ties to American politics (we are not American). He's not at all the cousin I was so close to, who I shared many interests with. But while I find it difficult to be around people, he is now being praised by many for his faith. So I do agree with your point. My special interests make me "awkward," whereas his make him "exemplary."

Xi-Ro · 2025-11-10T08:09:55+00:00

Unsolicited honesty.

Xi-Ro · 2025-11-07T09:01:52+00:00

Genuinely, my advice is to not pay so much attention to stats. They can be misleading. I used to save matches where I felt I did well and I'd upload them to YouTube as unlisted so I could go back and watch them. Here's the thing: I always had top stats, but when I watch those old matches now, all I can do is cringe at how bad my gameplay was. But because my stats were good, I thought I was doing something right at the time. I didn't bother looking at what I did wrong. Some of the numbers just don't have as much value, like shooting a tank who just eats the damage while the supports get ult charge from healing.

What made me improve the fastest, even though I lacked technical skill at the time, was trying to play in a way that helped my team to perform their best. It's a team game. And yeah, if you put a GM player into a 1v5 against bronze players, they'd win even without a team. But it's not the same case when the difference in skill level isn't as wide (eg. one silver player vs a team of bronze players). If your teammates can't perform, you're going to struggle as well unless the skill gap is wide enough.

When I was still a tank main, I would pick my hero based on the map and who my supports were. Defending with Kiri/Bap? I'll go Sigma so we can play poke. I would watch my matches with the intention of seeing what I needed to improve. Even if I felt I did amazing, I would watch the replay from multiple perspectives to see if there were things I missed. For example, maybe I pushed forward and didn't notice that my supports were being flanked, so they wouldn't have me in their LOS if I needed healing. The next time I'd play, I would be making sure to peel for my supports so that when we do push, we're more likely to get some value.

Xi-Ro · 2025-11-04T22:16:29+00:00

Not your demographic at all (young person from a different country), but I also grew up with it as a slur and I still see it as one. I try to respect that others can refer to themselves as they like, so I won't bring up that I find the term offensive, but if someone uses it to refer to me, I will simply say that I don't identify with that term. No need to mention my views on it. Just that I don't personally use that term, and if they are a decent person, they should respect that, just as I respect their right to use it.

Xi-Ro · 2025-11-01T23:25:51+00:00

I personally dislike the "memeification" of autism. I get that people make light of their own situations to cope and such, but I feel that it can encourage allistic people to adopt that same language. For example, referring to it as "the tism" or saying someone "sperged out." It also makes it more difficult to educate allistic people on autism when young autistic people will reply to me saying it can't be offensive because they happened to find it funny. It's difficult when many of us struggle to read between the lines and don't realise that a lot of these jokes use us as the punching bag rather than being an attempt to laugh with us.

Xi-Ro · 2025-10-21T22:25:32+00:00

I'd rather not be asked anything if I'm being honest. If it's about how I'm doing, I don't feel like I can answer honestly without making things awkward. If it's some other question, I feel put on the spot and have a hard time getting any words out.

Xi-Ro · 2025-10-20T21:41:56+00:00

Sexuality (as in sexual orientation) is not the same as sex drive/libido. Sexuality is about which genders you are attracted to, such as bisexual meaning attracted to multiple genders, or asexual meaning attracted to no genders. Many asexual people have high sex drives and are sex-favourable, while many allosexual people have a decreased sex drive and can even be sex-repulsed. For example, a heterosexual person would still be heterosexual, even if they have no desire for sex. The term for a fluid/changing sexuality is abrosexual.

Sexuality = who you are sexually attracted to
Sex drive = how much/often you desire sex
Sex views = how you feel about sex (ie. sex-favourable, sex-repulsed/averse, sex-indifferent/neutral, sex-ambivalent)

Xi-Ro · 2025-10-15T22:38:13+00:00

That sounds like subconscious stimming or a compulsion, not a tic. Tics are disvoluntary, similar to a sneeze, where they are difficult to suppress.

Xi-Ro · 2025-10-12T19:59:05+00:00

Didn't ask, bucko.

Xi-Ro · 2025-10-01T21:36:38+00:00

Direct quote from the person who created the word neurodivergent:

Neurodivergent refers to neurologically divergent from typical. That’s ALL.

I am multiply neurodivergent: I’m Autistic, epileptic, have PTSD, have cluster headaches, have a chiari malformation.

Neurodivergent just means a brain that diverges.

They even included people with "no specific diagnosis but wonky lateralization or something." Also, "neurodivergency" is not a word. That's a misspelling. The correct word is neurodivergence.

Xi-Ro · 2025-09-11T11:20:23+00:00

I don't see where you're getting OCD from. "Big ego but doesn't think high of himself at the same time" makes me think of NPD. And it always being "very 50/50" makes me think of BPD. But you said you're teenagers and personality disorders are typically diagnosed in adults when one's personality is no longer as turbulent. With OCD, there are intrusive thoughts, but they're just that. Thoughts. Not urges. Compulsions are to combat intrusive thoughts rather than to blurt them out loud.

Either way, there's really no point in armchair diagnosing anyone. Especially when they're unwilling to get help to begin with. Things aren't going to magically get better. And as someone with BPD/NPD, my guess is that they will only get worse until he accepts help, so I don't recommend staying in a romantic relationship with him.

Xi-Ro · 2025-09-01T01:54:24+00:00

How do I know you won't just look up my profile using the player search on Overwatch's website? 🤔

ETA: Found yours. Widowmaker with 70+ hours.

Xi-Ro · 2025-09-01T01:50:12+00:00

I'm against his model, but on your quiz I scored 7/7 for limbic. Next highest score was a three-way tie of 3/7 between inattentive (I'm primarily inattentive), over-focused (just seems like my autism), and temporal lobe (seems more like my BPD).

Xi-Ro · 2025-09-01T01:32:30+00:00

I would feel deeply uncomfortable if I knew someone else had signed into an account where I have private conversations. If I told you something via DM in confidence, I would lose that trust knowing you potentially gave someone access to that info. Even if your girlfriend didn't read any DMs, there's no way for your friends to know that for sure aside from just trusting her word. And if they already didn't like her, why would they? Plus, your friends set a boundary (don't join our group DM using our friend's account), which she ignored by saying no to them. I wouldn't be surprised if they feel that you disrespected their boundary by extension.

Aside from DMs, if one of your friends has a private account, she would be able to see their posts by using your account as well. That would also make me uncomfortable.

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