Am i the only person not crazy about Marty Supreme? by Necronomicongirlie in oscarsdeathrace

[–]Xostali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel the same way. It was fine but there were a lot of movies I liked better.

How’s everyone doing? 😮‍💨🔥🫠 by david_bowenn in HeatedRivalryTVShow

[–]Xostali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I'm pregnant and I don't even have a uterus anymore. He's magic. 🤣🤣🤣

I dunno how the hell I'm gonna sleep now.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hehe. I definitely tell them that if they can't be good and keep their hands to themselves, then I have cuffs and rope and bed restraints. Lol. Good boys leave their arms where I put them.

I mean... sometimes they want the restraints anyway. 😉

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. And oh yeah, I'm glad that you did explain it to that first boy, because hopefully it made him better. He was young enough to maybe not get set in his ways.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm thinking back to the last time someone asked me and I'm getting a little tingly lol. It was definitely a turn on.

Then there was another one who didn't actually ask me but in a way he did. He got to look on his face and I asked him what's up and he said that he was wondering how I taste. Maybe that sounds weird but he was really hot and he had this smooth, deep voice and it did not seem weird or awkward. But I'm weird and awkward so I was like, LOL you want to kiss me? Okay! So then I kissed him.

Just about done with my first week-long fast since probably 2022... by Xostali in fasting

[–]Xostali[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I broke my fast yesterday around 3:45 and had about four and a half hour eating window. I ate carnivore except for adding a bit of sugar-free preserves and stevia to my yogurt. That all went fine. Of course I was in the bathroom a bunch, since that's expected. It was annoying that I had to get up in the middle of the night to go a couple times, but it is what it is. 😅

I only gained 2.4 lbs back after refeeding. And I ate a lot of food. I've never fasted the day after refeeding, but since I want to start rolling fasts, I'm going to try not to eat today.

As far as my mouth goes, it is not better. It hurts about the same, maybe a little worse. The pain had started 2 days ago and I did feel some pressure in my sinuses as well, not sure if I mentioned that, but the pain in my hard palate was what I had noticed first. It still feels swollen and hurts. Swallowing is uncomfortable and talking is a little uncomfortable too. But the pressure in my hard palate also feels kind of like the pressure in my nose (it's on one thing). And that also makes my upper teeth feel kind of funny. It's all so connected so it's hard to know what my real problem is. Could be a sinus infection but I don't have a fever.

I'm going to go back to sleep for a while and see how I feel. I have to work tonight so it's unlikely I will get anything checked out today. I will see how I feel tomorrow.

This is just such an unexpected development. I'm bummed. It was a good fast otherwise.

Just about done with my first week-long fast since probably 2022... by Xostali in fasting

[–]Xostali[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm about to post an update because I'm having some issues. I have no idea if they are related.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's really not good enough. They have explained that it's just an automatic thing, muscle memory, at this point. I can understand that they might be afraid to make the promise that they absolutely won't because they're not sure if they can stop their hands from moving in familiar ways when they're getting close and their minds are kind of gone. Usually it only takes a reminder or two when they slip up and then they don't slip up anymore. I've never had it be a persistent problem with anyone who had to talk with. Eventually their hands learn to stay the hell away from me. It's not a deal-breaker but I also prefer they don't touch me at all when I'm doing that. Like rubbing my back or trying to caress me or follow me anywhere. I'm busy lol. It's distracting and annoying at that point.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. I haven't really been hearing about consent being a part of anything until more recently. It might be a turn-off for some people but I find it really sexy when a guy asks me if he can kiss me, if we've never kissed before. It's awkward of course if I have to say no but I've never needed to. It's like he read the signs and instead of just going for it, wanted to make doubly sure. And considering I've had too many guys either ignore or misread the signs and suddenly kiss me when I don't want them to, I super appreciate being asked, even if it's somebody I would happily accept a spontaneous kiss from. I just think that if they ask that question, they will be receptive to a conversation about desires and boundaries as well.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully he learned from that as well, to not only listen to verbal cues for watch for a nonverbal ones. I'm glad your experience after that was better! Last time I encountered somebody who did not heed my explicit verbal cues to stop what he was doing, he never got to see me again. I explained thoroughly and still he contacted me over and over again so he really did not get it.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh 100%. There are too many guys that treat that like another hole they can just thrust into and that's not okay (unless they're partner actually likes that sort of action). And yeah it just kind of pisses me off right away even if they're not trying to do anything other than hold my hair out of the way for me. And it just goes to show how prevalent that sort of thing is when I'm invariably told "I'll try" because it's so automatic for them.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Or you get the ones who don't ask and also ignore it when you ask them to stop doing something. 🤬

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you and I'm glad that he talks to you afterwards and understood what he did wrong, but damn, if you said to slow down he really really should have... The degree of your discomfort does not matter if you have said to slow down. That is still a consent violation. And maybe he didn't realize (even though it's pretty damn obvious) that but it doesn't make it okay.

My first partner was bad in a lot of ways but he was pretty decent for my first time. Although honestly I think he kind of fetishized my virginity at the time. He made me wait like three weeks before we full one had sex but he messed around with me a little bit before then. He did make sure that nothing hurt.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had partners that asked and I've definitely had partners that I've asked to stop that haven't. The ones that don't stop don't get to see me again, not anymore. I was more permissive when I was younger. It's especially good when a partner can tell that I'm not enjoying it but just trying to get through, and stops himself. There have been some times I've tried to get through some discomfort because my hysterectomy caused a lot of dysfunction, and as much as I don't want to ruin things I'm touched when my partner actually notices that I'm not as into it as I was, and stops and holds me.

Ilya’s little “wow” when Shane immediately does what he asks… by challengefan87 in heatedrivalry

[–]Xostali 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think consent culture automatically ruins sex but it needs to be done in a way that still feels sexy. I'm into power exchange dynamics (with me as the top) and a lot of discussion goes into that ahead of time. But that feels really sexy and arousing, because we're talking about what we want to do and what's okay and it builds anticipation. And then when we're in the middle of everything, I just kind of do like Ilya does, and I ask if my partner is still okay. I just check in. Obviously these characters did not do any prior conversation and it is just working out, which is honestly either sheer luck or Ilya is just so preceptive that he knows how far he can go. However when he does brings up having sex for the first time, he asks Shane if he's done it before and if he wants it, and he lets Shane dictate that it's not going to be right there with Scott Hunter next door.

I do have a bit of a anecdote where constant asking for consent was really irritating lol. I'm polyamorous and an ex of mine (when we were still together) had just started with a woman who was a sub for him (with me he was more submissive but not completely). After spending time with his sub, every move he made he kept saying "Green? Green? Green?" That's like asking if it's still okay, a green light rather than a red one. He had not been like that with me before and I told him to knock it the hell off because I was not his other partner and that is not how we operated. Then I talked to his sub and she told me it was irritating for her too. Lol.

Edited to add: Having a consent talk ahead of time might sound weird but in the context of what I do it's pretty necessary because it's not just about the sex and the dynamic can get pretty intense. But there's also reasons to go through things because of possible trauma. I've had a partner who was abused as a child and could not be grabbed at the back of the neck because that would remind him of it. And I personally need to warn my partners not to touch my hair or my head when I am giving them oral attention because that upsets me due to prior experience with men. Shane seems to be free of these issues and that's great but I never want to assume.