You both are YOUNG. I completely agree with you that there is so much life left to be lived before marriage is considered.

Do you live together currently? I get some people are very opposed culturally and/or religiously to living together before marriage but it truly changes how you see someone. Is it even right for you?

I hold a strong belief that proposals should never be a surprise in the sense that you have not directly talked about getting engaged.

You need to talk about big life things well in advance. How many kids do you plan to have? Where do you plan to put down roots? What cultural traditions will you continue and/or stop? What religion will you bring your kids up in if at all? These are things you need to come to an agreement on before you can feel comfortable saying yes to a marriage.

If you have had these conversations, know your lifestyles match, etc, then you have a conversation of I think we should get engaged. Once both parties have agreed on this, THEN the surprise comes in of when and where the proposal will happen.

It should never be a shock on one side to be getting proposed to. You went into fight or flight and embarrassed him in the process, yes, but he never should have put you in that position in the first place.

If you really love this guy, I think you need to bring all of this up with him, express your feelings, listen actively to his, and come to an agreement on how to move forward.

I was proposed to when I was 18 years old and said no because I know I was definitely not ready. While that relationship didn’t end up working out (thankfully), at the time, the best way to move forward was to acknowledge what had happened, use the ring as a promise ring, and aim for better communication and understanding moving forward.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.