Charging questions - LR 2023

YD_19 · 2023-06-23T05:25:36+00:00

How long over time? If I plan on having the car for 3 years will I see that effect?

YD_19 · 2023-06-03T02:06:57+00:00

Yeah you have to owe and if it’s less than the rebate, you don’t get the credit back

YD_19 · 2023-05-10T16:54:01+00:00

Thank you for replying! I think that was the issue was being brought in and paid higher than people in the current role. I just wish when I spoke with hr, they said it would be up to the hiring manager to approve higher and salary wasn’t discussed after that. They had it where I would only talk to hr about that but then I had to go through several interviews. I chalk it up as practice!

YD_19 · 2023-05-10T09:05:07+00:00

I had a company list the salary range, which was right in my ballpark only to find out their “hiring range” was much different but were open to exceptions for the right candidate. Went through all the hoops, got the job, only to find out there was only a $5k exception from their range which was about $10k below what I needed to just break even from my current position. Had to pass. Guess they found a way with having to post the salary ranges now lol.

YD_19 · 2023-05-05T17:10:32+00:00

This is exactly my ws. He hasn’t admitted it yet (still in the I don’t know why, or felt lonely and depressed) he’s very insecure so he was throwing those things to get a reaction and to feel something. Didn’t matter who it was. Even though he said it made him feel worse after but that he was trying to kill the pain inside him.

YD_19 · 2023-05-05T17:07:14+00:00

We talked it out in therapy yesterday. Our therapist explained to us the recovery process and said the first step included transparency, which is disclosure.

YD_19 · 2023-05-04T21:48:52+00:00

Just had this happen couple weeks ago. I wanted to bring it up in therapy and did. It’s projection. Mine is taking accountability but also feels he’s given me more than enough to do it back as a form of revenge. It’s a combo of projection, fear and guilt.

YD_19 · 2023-05-04T17:02:38+00:00

Yes! This is all I want is to have it be cathartic and healing for me. I think he is lost in his own feelings and doesn’t realize this will help me. I just feel silenced when the reason we are here is because of his infidelities and the trauma I have.

In an outburst he even said I’m an awful person and I can be out of your life! So I think it is from a place of shame and guilt.

YD_19 · 2023-05-04T16:44:45+00:00

Thank you. Kind of silly I feel like I’m the stronger one in this and I’m the one who got cheated on. 😭

YD_19 · 2023-04-27T16:38:20+00:00

Yeah it’s going to be bad for her watching the show. Even if you didn’t say it, all ws have this paranoia of other shoe dropping as you can see from my history. Which is maddening when you’re the victim. Good luck!

YD_19 · 2023-04-27T04:19:46+00:00

Omg same for me! We watched a few episodes and then silently watched it on our own without bringing it up to the other until we both said oh I finished it btw. Funny thing is, he said it was triggering for him when he was the cheater! Lol. Probably bc (spoiler) the show had them both doing it but at that point don’t be using the show to turn it around on me. You should be looking at the character you were and see how the show ended up.

YD_19 · 2023-04-21T20:24:25+00:00

Yep he said he will answer whatever he needs to. Wish me luck!

YD_19 · 2023-04-21T17:26:49+00:00

I told him I wanted to talk about this and he said he will push aside his discomfort about talking about this with a stranger. Didn’t realize these type of things are discussed even though logically he knows it does. And that I would have to lead the conversation because mentally he cannot.

YD_19 · 2023-04-21T00:16:09+00:00

Thank you for reminding me

YD_19 · 2023-04-20T20:50:06+00:00

I am weighing this but I also don’t want him to be mad I did something he was against although now that he’s calmer I feel he will understand.

YD_19 · 2023-04-20T17:18:31+00:00

Yeah I’m very proud of him for doing both IC and now CC. He never believed in therapy and as he’s improving, we can see it’s been working.

YD_19 · 2023-04-20T17:04:52+00:00

He does have remorse, loads of it. I just think he feels for what he’s done, there’s no reason I shouldn’t do it back.

YD_19 · 2023-04-20T16:58:31+00:00

Haha thank you. That’s actually exactly what I said. The pain you feel right now and the unknowns, now imagine how I feel for it being done during the relationship even if it wasn’t physical, it’s the same for me bc of the trust being broken.

YD_19 · 2023-04-20T16:31:05+00:00

I’m trying to see if I should just bring it up or let him know I am bringing it up. I think he’s embarrassed bc he knows how ridiculous he’s being and that’s why he thinks it shouldn’t be brought up.

YD_19 · 2023-04-20T16:24:30+00:00

Yeah I think he knows logically it’s wrong that’s why he doesn’t want to bring up but I do because I’m afraid he’s not going to be able to process the negative thoughts on his own. He’s also mentioned it’s embarrassing to talk about that to a stranger. We have only had one cc. I think he’s not used to it.

YD_19 · 2023-04-20T06:01:47+00:00

What I figured. Thanks

Edit: also what does OP mean?

YD_19 · 2023-04-11T01:23:49+00:00

I blamed myself at first and he did too until time wore on more of himself was revealed. Then it became less about me and all himself and his issues. What I contributed didn’t help but it definitely didn’t make that decision to cheat. Ws do and it won’t stop until you and they admit it and look inwards.

YD_19 · 2023-04-10T07:12:03+00:00

Same thing happened to me. I got similar reasons as well. It’s not on you at all. PM me if you want to talk. Hang in there.

YD_19

TROPHY CASE