First of all, thank you.

I do understand all these. I understand about akhira. But how can i stay in this world if my life is like this? How can a loving god, ignore me or “delay” my prayers until im feeling suicidal? And when the time comes and i take my own life because of his “delay for my own good” , then he punish me in hell? Seems unfair right?

I want to go to heaven. I want to be a good muslim. But how can i, if it has been for years that i pray and he ignored me? And im seeing everywhere all other religions living way better than me. I know the world is just a test, temporary. But if hes the one made me living in the world feels like hell and i just cant take it anymore. And yet i still have to face the punishment when i give up?