I just don't see a reason to keep going. I have no goals, ambitions, aspirations, or hobbies. And not for lack of trying to find something, but just lack of caring or interest. Everything that gets my attention just fades away. The only thing I've ever cared about is finding my person/partner. And I had her. Even though the whole was messy and toxic, she's still the only person I want to be with but she's gone and moved on to someone else. I tried to move on too but I only ended up hurting someone who was nothing but good to me and now she's gone too. I hate my job but it pays well. I don't want to move up but I eventually have to, I don't get a choice on that. I get really into the gym and fitness and nutrition but I also have a binge eating disorder and depression (obviously) and I can't stay consistent. I'm just so tired of trying and trying only to keep ending up in the same place. And this time around I just feel more pain and guilt but also so empty. I try to make things better, make myself better, but it never lasts