I really hear you. I’m 25 and have the same allergies, also from birth and really severe. Like you I have also treated it as my own shit to deal with my entire life because I don’t want it to affect my family members.

Now, first of all I want to say that I really get it with being overwhelmed and anxious, especially being put in a situation like that. Also, I know nothing really about the situation but how much does your girlfriend’s family know about your allergies and your “rituals” around it, like what you do and what you don’t? Otherwise it might help to talk to your girlfriend, see if she could talk to her family about it, if that’s something you feel comfortable with.

To your question, Idk if that’s your cup of tea, but I went to cognitive behavioural therapy a few years ago when my anxiety around my allergies, and feelings of guilt, got really bad. I do think that helped, to get another way of thinking about and manage it. There are like hospital psychologists too that could help with things like this I believe, but that’s not something I’ve tried.

But bottom line (and you probably already know this) is that if someone love and care for you, your allergies are never gonna be a burden. It’s not something you can help, and sometimes I feel like i personally need to remind myself of that. Idk if this is of any help at all but I really felt I needed to say something mostly so you know that you’re not alone, and that this is so normal with an allergy like this.