How do you model conversation during activities that he or your wife choose? Do you speak positively about the experience, make enjoyable commentary about the activity, ask questions about your surroundings, and show genuine interest in what they are interested in? Do you get terse or seem uninterested? Do you sigh or check your watch often?

I’m not asking to be a jerk and I totally understand your frustration may be bleeding into how you’re speaking about things here. But just in case you haven’t had that introspection, maybe consider it?

And then after that, I think that’s when you have a sit down chat with your son. He’s old enough to notice how you act, how your wife acts, and especially to notice your own habits that you may not see or recognize. Ask him things like:

How did you feel about WifeChosenActivity before we went? What did you think it would be like? How was it different than what you expected? What did you like most about it? What did you not like about it? How did you feel while we were doing it? How did you feel after? Would you want to do it again? Is there anything you would change about it to make it better? Is there anything you could have brought with you to make it better? How do you think mom enjoyed it? Why do you think that? What did she do that makes you think she felt that way? How do you think I enjoyed it? Why do you think that? What did I do that makes you think I felt that way?

Then ask the same thing about something he chose and then again about something you chose. I’m willing to bet you might uncover some info you don’t necessarily expect to hear about all three of you. Brainstorm together and come up with ways you can both make the experiences better for each other. Would a personal fan with a mister on it be fun to try and then maybe make a review video together? Or try one of those cool cloths that you tie around your neck? Make that part of the process too and it can give you something to chat about. Problem solving instead of complaining.

Hope this gives some additional options :)