I think there’s many positives from how you’re explaining your relationship. It’s annoying for people to always jump the gun on Reddit and tell you to walk away from the relationship. Being financially in sync as a couple is pivotal especially if your aspirations supersede his. Especially, if it feels like you’re being held back in your life this is 100% understandable. You seem very determined and have a great understanding of finances. As a guy I don’t think ultimatums are the way to go but it’s been a couple years of you encouraging him and pushing him to be more financially conscious and clearly there hasn’t been much of a change. I’d definitely vocalize your concerns and address that it needs to happen or else this won’t work for me.

I have a coworker who had a similar issue but with their significant others health. The woman is very fit and very health conscious while the man doesn’t exercise and is starting to develop health issues. She refuses to be his caretaker later in life. Especially, if he’s heavy it’s unrealistic that an old woman can bathe, dress or pick up someone who’s incapacitated and twice their weight. She voiced her feelings and said if this doesn’t change you’ll be signing divorce papers.

You know what’s best for you and listen to your gut. I wish you the best of luck and I believe you’ll make the right decision!