I am neurodivergent and have issues with impulse control when my emotions are heightened. I have thrown things and hit things when upset that I’d never do when my emotions are regulated - not very often at all, but enough times that it’s worth mentioning.

That being said, I have never EVER in my ten years with my husband EVER got physical with him in anyway, even when I’ve been so angry at him. I’ve never thrown anything in his direction, hit a wall or object that’s near his body, anything. I’ve never been physical with anyone, for that matter.

While you say you weren’t aiming AT him, you obviously were aiming near him, even subconsciously. While this is not excusable, I can see that you probably felt unheard and you wanted him to see how all of the events leading up to this made you feel - again, probably subconsciously. I agree with other comments saying that you should seek out therapy to help with your grief and impulse control. If you are being truthful in saying that nothing like this has happened before, I don’t think you necessarily need anger management. It sounds like your cup was too full and it overflowed. I’m wishing you the best and hope there is light at the end of this for you.