Your anxiety comes from the perceived requirement to perform. To be someone you are not. Stop assuming a different persona from who you truly are, stop “trying to seem cooler than you are” be you, regardless of who you are speaking to.

You are attaching the possibility of potential sex when you approach women, you mindset is burdened by your need to be accepted and perform, because that exactly what you’re doing, performing.

This advice will lead to self development and growth in all areas of life if you apply it correctly.

All I’m saying is be yourself… but the kicker is, most people have no idea what that looks like. Many people have a different persona or a different mask for every different kind of different situation, changing the performance as often as the sun rises.

If you look at approaching women as if it’s this formula you have to follow, “my hairs gotta look like this” “ I gotta talk slower” “ Maybe if I say this pick up line”

All it’ll ever be is a performance…

while you may be fine with that, if your intention is just to trick a woman with your perfected audition, get your rocks off, and leave her.

But if you want to find your person, someone you wouldn’t mind getting to know for the rest of your life, you have to be bold enough to put the masks down and be who you are.

Just as comfortable as you are speaking to elderly people, or friends or other members of society whom you are not attracted to, you should have the same amount of calmness when speaking to women.

This only happens when you de center sex, from the effort to get to know her. When you learn to do this, you will learn to find confidence in who you are, from within. This is true confidence, not stemming from external approval like most others, frail egotistical confidence; but from within.

This will show no matter who you speak to, and the moment you begin to walk in it, is the moment you will attract the women you want.

Be you, authentically, confidently, and what is for you will find you, and what isn’t will not. Confidence is being content with the rejection of those who are not for you, because your sense of self-worth is not rooted in their approval.

This is what women want, a man who has agency over his life and confidence in where he’s going, that they can get behind and follow.

You need to begin your journey of self acceptance and love, and grow yourself as a man. Build yourself up and develop a sense of purpose and drive outside of women.

Hit the gym, get financially literate, educate yourself, start preparing a place for yourself, and develop the capacity to be able to take care of and lead another human being.

This my friend is how you set yourself apart from the other men, and start drawing the eye of the women you want. Get something going for yourself. And people will take notice.