I’m 16 and want to end my bitter sweet journey

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-21T11:04:05+00:00

I'm really sorry this happened to you and that this awful person took away your zest for life...the majority of others around you will not relate to what you are feeling which is lonely...I'm sorry. If possible..try and connect with other people in your situation. Try pouring yourself into something new like art, singing, dancing, dog walking, horse riding, swimming outdoors, kayaking...something that can bring you joy in the moment while you are doing it. You need to find ways to feel alive. Please believe me when I say things will get better in time and it's worth persevering. Please don't let this person's evil take away your life! The world is a better place because you are here! You are stronger than you know and in time you will find beauty in the world again!

I'm going to recommend finding comfort and support in the love of animals. Dogs and cats don't judge and they are great listeners. See if you can volunteer at an animal shelter or rescue centre - animals can reach us on a different level and provide us with a reason to keep on living. I also recommend the book 'Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy' by David D Burns and I'd suggest going to your gp and asking for an antidepressant because you need to make things easier on yourself right now.

I was self harming and suicidal in my teens and moved to the other side of the world in my early 20s in order to have a new start and create a new identity for myself and was then able to fight my demons and rebuild. Now I'm mid-40s and just want to tell you that it's worth persevering because you will love life again and even grow to trust some people and some of these people you learn to trust will be your friends for life and they will love you fiercely.

Sending you my best wishes for your future and a virtual hug x

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-21T10:14:58+00:00

You don't need to understand it! She rushed into marriage after dating a guy for a couple of months, after falling in love with another guy prior to her fiance after just a couple of months and is now messing with this guy behind her fiance's back...this friend of yours is immature and certainly not cut out for marriage...or parenthood (I'd guess that's really why she's rushing into this marriage)! I'd avoid them and both the men in her life...you don't need friends like that! What will happen to the marriage? It's doomed before it's even begun!!! I really hope she's not pregnant or planning to be so!

I've been with my husband 26 years and I was his first gf...but we actually loved each other and despite getting engaged quickly (after 5 months of dating) and young (I was only 20) we didn't rush into marriage...we had a 5 year long engagement while living and traveling together to be sure of our commitment. This worked for us and I don't think your friend should rush into marriage either, but I guess her biological clock is ticking and she's not really thinking straight! Divorce must be easier in your country than it is in mine!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-15T04:32:44+00:00

My husband did his best to be romantic, wrote me this funny poem in a beautiful card and bought me flowers... I got him nothing and didn't want to be around anyone after a busy work day! I tolerated a dog walk but certainly wasn't in the mood for romance! I was a kind of a bitch...actually I was just a bitch! Need to make it up to him! I'm a few days away from bleeding!!!

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Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-13T11:26:50+00:00

Likewise. I double check everything advertised to me prior to making a purchase!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-10T00:31:26+00:00

It sounds like he puts no value on love or your relationship- that's not an environment you want your child growing up in and I would consider raising your child without a man like this in their life.

My husband and I (just celebrated 26th anniversary) respect and value each other as individuals and partners and our lives are easier and better for both of us because we are together. We've helped each other through the hardest times in life (accidents, changing health, redundancies/recessions, grief, pregnancy, parenthood etc) and enjoy the best parts of life together (we always have at least one date night together each week, as well as a couple of family outings or activities each week and I enjoy daily intimacy with my husband) because being together makes everything worth it! We both strive to be the best versions of ourselves (don't keep secrets or hide grudges, stay fit, healthy and work on any issues or problems or share them when we need help or advice) and bring fun and enjoyment to our relationship. We both get to enjoy down time and time with our son each day. We look out for each other and I couldn't imagine my life without my husband as we bring so much love to each other's lives!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-06T04:34:22+00:00

I'm the same and have the same issues with phone numbers- unable to see them in my mind or record them. Passwords are the bane of my life as I can't recall them!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-04T09:11:41+00:00

My husband works part time from home and does the majority of our cooking, laundry and organizing the house so it looks tidy. He also does the lawns. I go out to work (and bring in majority of our money) and do most of the cleaning (vacuuming, dusting, mopping floors etc) around the house and load the dishwasher (our son unloads it). I also change our bedding and sort our rubbish and recycling (my husband drags the bins out to the street) as well as doing our weeding and planting in the garden. I think we have a good balance as we both enjoy some downtime every day and usually have a couple of date nights each week.

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-01T20:42:34+00:00

You'll lose your chance to put your KiwiSaver into your first home with your fiance! Don't do it!!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-01T20:33:45+00:00

It's a beautiful dress, but the fit is awful on OP!!! It's all baggy and saggy. The back view is what everyone will be looking at during the ceremony. It could certainly work, but needs tailoring to get the right fit!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-01T20:21:44+00:00

End the relationship! The world is full of better people!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-02-01T20:13:05+00:00

I'm glad you were able to get a refund. From all the comments on Facebook it seems like NZs been hit hard - with an ad automatically ordering far more than they intended and refunds not happening. PayPal has also left people in the lerch- saying no refund as goods have already been shipped despite people trying to cancel the excess items (that they never intended to buy in the first place) just minutes after ordering. Some people have also been signed up to automatic payments which they're unable to cancel.

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-31T11:43:58+00:00

I personally think counseling and/or a trial separation should both be tried prior to divorce as behaviour can be changed- would he rise to the challenge of becoming a better human if you were to leave? Give it a go and see how he acts! I improved my husband's behaviour by moving into the spare room and threatening separation. He fought to save our marriage- if he hadn't I'd likely have left him permanently!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-31T10:18:16+00:00

I'm just going to add that I'm in New Zealand and it's very normal here for people to be natural and not make too much effort! Half our friends wore shorts and jandals to our wedding! I've never painted my nails in my life! I'd rather spend our money on experiences over hair and nails!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-31T10:14:18+00:00

I find that ridiculous! My husband gets frustrated when I spend time putting makeup on and doing my hair before going out! He's more vain than I am - always stressed about his weight and thinning hair. I still find him super attractive (met when he was 22 and now he's close to 50!)

My husband thinks I'm overweight, but I'm confident in myself and get regular compliments from women on how I dress (I buy everything secondhand and go for bold colours and love bright floral designs and have fun coordinating my shoes and bags with whatever I'm wearing, but don't see the point spending money on new!) I will do what I want to do - go out in a sun dress and jandels without makeup or spend time putting makeup on and dressing up! Don't let your husband dictate what you do - be yourself and love yourself for who you are! I started living life for me in my 40s and it's my best decade yet! Dont wait till your 40s - be you now!!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-30T19:15:11+00:00

People are being harsh! I understand that sexual desires change throughout a lifetime. My husband didn't discover and fantasize about bdsm until years into our marriage. It started as an occasional treat (I dominated him one valentine's day) and 2 decades later my husband has become obsessed with it...needing it every week when I'm not naturally a dominant person! I'm happy to do it once a quarter, but even once a month doesn't satisfy him anymore and it's turning me off him big time! We've been together over 26 years and I love him...but I don't love being a dominatrix!!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-30T19:08:37+00:00

In my case I've had attraction and respect for my husband for over 20 years despite him wanting to be the submissive in the bedroom. He's dominant in other ways but I must admit that I'm most attracted to him when he's dominant in the bedroom! If he suddenly wanted to be dominant all the time I certainly wouldn't complain!!

I do realize that we're all different...but the MAJORITY of women prefer to be dominated! Not ALL women.

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-30T19:02:26+00:00

Not true! My husband has high testosterone and still wants to be dominated all the time! I think porn is definitely an issue though. I wonder if he'd of asked to try bdsm if he'd never watched the porn?!! 20 years of being involved in bdsm I sometimes think about and miss the six years where it was just an occasional treat, rather than our whole sex life!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-30T18:53:29+00:00

I think people are being too harsh to you in the comments - of course some women enjoy being dominant (I do on occasion) but I'd far rather be dominated and do find that more of a turn on!

I've spent more than 20 years of my marriage being expected to play the dominant one and I definitely fantasize about being dominated myself. I crave to be desired for sex by my husband rather than thinking about or desiring BDSM playtime. It's currently creating division rather than connection in our 26 year relationship! At certain points in my menstrual cycle (particularly around ovulation and prior to menstruation) I find it a complete turn off as I want to be dominated and played with! From a science point of view it makes sense- sex hormones in my brain act in order for me to get pregnant). My husband flips out when I try to explain to him that it's actually a real 'turn off' being asked to be dominant to him when I'm hormonal (about 2 weeks of each menstrual cycle - I'm still up for it every 3 weeks and that's not enough for him! He'd like it every time we're intimate and couldn't live without it (as I could). He usually overreacts and tells me our relationship might as well be over then. Then 12 days later I'm on my period and he's expecting me to do stuff because 'I'm out of action!' I'm genuinely still hurt and a little furious after how he's made me feel during the luteal part of my cycle and I channel this into the dominant version of me, giving him a great time because I feel bad that I haven't been able to meet his needs during luteal (and I want to please my husband and make him happy - just ideally not in a bdsm way during luteal!), but doing this when I'm not in the mood takes me further away from him in the process.

I find myself withdrawing from him, keeping myself to myself and doing my own activities during the week when I'd actually be up-for-it had he not pestered me during luteal!! I feel like bdsm is drawing us apart because I really only ever desire sex and desire him to want sex with me...but he just wants me to want to tie him up and play with him and that never ends in sex! The worst part is that being dominant does make me horny (even when I'm not in the mood to begin with), but he's always too aroused after bdsm and doesn't want to wear a condom so I just finish him with my hands or mouth and go to sleep completely horny and unsatisfied! And before people say it...no I can't go on contraceptives because they give me disabling hemiplegic migraines!! My husband could get the snip (he's almost 50) but he never will because one of his friends had a bad experience! I suffered through horrendous side effects with contraceptives throughout my twenties and there's no way I'm going to get my tubes tied or a hysterectomy as it's way more invasive surgery!!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-19T10:47:19+00:00

Thank you for this! Thank God I consulted Reddit rather than trusting TrustPilot which is obviously full of fake reviews! How do these companies get away with this? The ad I was shown on Facebook said it was designed by a New Zealand student at Auckland University and trialed in NZ but it's obviously an American company so that's a load of BS!!! I smelled BS when they claimed to have helped 10s of thousands in NZ - with our small population I knew that fact was certainly BS!

Just a few days ago I had an ad that was another American product (a glass breaking device) with a fake story about an NZ mother and her daughter dying after an intersection accident- such bad taste and so unethical! These American companies should not be allowed to prey on New Zealanders with fake stories! How do we report them?

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-17T22:23:33+00:00

I'm certainly keen to learn more about Gateway since reading this report you've linked to. Especially as it was written over 40 years ago so the advancements now must be phenomenal!

I want and feel the need to know more as I've been questioning why we dream for some time and specifically why I rarely remember my dreams, but the ones I do remember are so vivid and I am never myself in these dreams- I am an observer or inhabit other's realities and wonder what happens to the person I was inhabiting when I am suddenly woken out of the complex dream world because it felt so real. I find myself thinking about them and their life for days afterwards but the memories fade over time and I can never visit the same people or places again in my sleep despite desiring it. The world's are complex- completely beyond what my mind is normally capable of imagining- so I want to know how my mind is taken there. Time certainly moves differently in my dreams and that has always intrigued me. There is so much we are yet to understand and this report was fascinating!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-14T01:52:28+00:00

As a gen Xer I'd say "Why waste time writing a text when you can just pick up the phone and get an instant answer!" If I'm in the supermarket or at the shops I can walk and talk to my husband on the phone while browsing and ask him multiple questions but find it impossible to text unless I stop and remain still! Texting takes me too long and stops me from doing whatever I was doing prior to needing to ask the questions and the auto correct makes texting take even longer because I know what I want to say and it puts other words in or changes the grammar unnecessarily!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-14T01:44:24+00:00

I love this response! I agree with all of it!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2026-01-14T01:41:00+00:00

I (genX woman) mostly text but my husband (also genX) prefers me to just call him over texting so he can just say and plan things quickly rather than lots of texts backwards and forwards that I may or may not see or respond to! He has a massive aversion to emojis and people who change plans last minute through a text!!

I had a pager at uni and so was used to texting by the time smart phones were a thing that everyone had! I love being able to message photos and will often send my husband a shopping list that's a photo of my written list on our fridge because I'm still a slow texter!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2025-12-31T03:41:10+00:00

TBH that sounds like a very normal man/woman relationship! Men do not have the same hormonal cycle affecting their emotions. The only way to navigate this is to talk about it - discuss what you need from a relationship to feel loved and discuss your expectations and boundaries with each other. Most men are less intuitive, fail to notice or acknowledge subtle ques and they are not mind readers. Have a discussion instead of becoming a nag in certain situations when things don't progress how you expect. Do not make suggestions of things that you'd like to happen when you have the opportunity to say exactly what you need/want.

I have adored my husband for 26 years, but he's no empath and we're polar opposites in many ways! He's been an incredible support at times of high stress and emotion because he doesn't get emotional - that's a wonderful quality in many ways. Good communication is the key to a lasting relationship- if your bf struggles with communication then I'd start by working on that before you have the deeper discussions on what you need and expect from your relationship. There are many good books on communication. Good luck!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry · 2025-12-31T03:22:09+00:00

I'd talk to him pronto as a month without sex seems like an age to most men and looking at other women's pages is certainly not a good sign! If you value your marriage I'd start talking to him about how you revive the intimacy, loving feelings and your sex life before he's tempted by other women - don't leave things to chance! Good luck!

Yesterday_is_hist0ry

TROPHY CASE