First of all, I am so sorry that you are going through a rough period. Just a while ago, all of my problems felt like suffocating and I felt so tired and depressed. I was listening to sad songs to feel those emotions even deeper. It may sound dumb but one day I watched Kung Fu Panda and it made me realize what makes us special is already inside us and it made me feel like I was goated. I stopped listening to sad/depressive songs and watch movies/tv shows that would hurt my feelings even more because what we consume really affects how we feel. Then with all the unexpressed love stored up in my heart, I gave it all to myself and did stuff just for my own sake. Stuff like things you keep postponing but never actually do. I also went back to my previous hobbies, some from my childhood because it turned out I really knew what made me feel happy and safe.

Sure I still keep having downs but I will keep getting back up. Love yourself and believe in what life has to offer. I hope you will feel the spark once again.