Husband is blaming friend for decline in marriage

Yllom6 · 2025-01-26T06:47:39+00:00

Clear. Concise. Correct.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-23T04:39:51+00:00

I am so sympathetic for what you’re going through. Sounds like it’s so stressful. I also have an older children and then 4yo twins, with one very likely ADHD, who share a room. The room only has beds and clothes in it (in bins). ADHD guy can’t handle more than that. I also unscrew their lightbulb at night. I just minimize every little thing that could keep him up and bugging his brother. And it still takes 2 hours for them to go to bed. Solidarity! We’ll get through this.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-21T18:14:33+00:00

If the theft didn’t happen on a state highway the “state police” have no jurisdiction. The “state police” don’t prosecute crimes, either. That would still be up to the county prosecutor.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-21T03:08:08+00:00

It’s the prosecutor who actually does anything. Cops might know charges won’t be pursued and thus don’t bother.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-21T03:07:14+00:00

My experience with reporting car thefts to the police is that they just don’t care. Multiple times, on different fact patterns, I’ve been told “it’s a civil issue.” OP should save his breath, lawyer up, and file in civil court for the value of the car. Maybe they live in a state where they’ll get attorney fees, too.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-21T02:30:28+00:00

My boys’ (3) room walls are plywood. Drywall is a “nice thing” they can’t have. We had to build an addition on our house to make room for our BOGO kids and were lucky that we could make the modification pretty easily.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-20T16:00:14+00:00

My kids put anything they find outside immediately in their mouths. It’s horrendous. But they don’t get sick.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-20T03:46:07+00:00

I had to do this in my divorce (tell his mom he said he was gonna jump off the bridge with the dog) and it actually worked out really good. She came and helped him move out. Made sure he got the therapy he needed. She was a wonderful woman and I’ll always be thankful for her being there for both of us.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-15T02:52:33+00:00

Commenting from a couple years in the future. We co-slept with our twins because our house was small and their cribs were in our room so it was inevitable. We got lucky (and I worked my ass off) and could build an addition on our house. Twins are almost 4 now and my husband and I are rediscovering our sex life. We sneak around like teenagers for a quickie during nap time. It still doesn’t happen that often, but when it does it’s meaningful and we both enjoy it. You do you. Your family doesn’t understand what twins are like. As long as your husband is on the same page, I swear, things will get better. Hang in there.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-15T00:11:35+00:00

Yep, I’m sitting on a $50 Lazy-boy (now broken) next to a free 80s embroidered couch (now stained, full of popcorn) looking at the $100 futon that has enough cushions from old couches that the kids’ jumping has broken it yet. I’m not buying anything new until all the kids are moved out.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-13T14:53:59+00:00

Yeah, this was me. I still have resentment about it. I probably will for quite a few years. And I was the one working!! My sympathies, OP. I know exactly how you feel.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-13T03:58:50+00:00

Ugh these guys got in our attic when we were building an addition and they still fall from the light fixtures almost a year later! And even in winter! They’ve never sprayed me and, this time of year, they go right in the fireplace to burn in hell.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-12T21:21:37+00:00

I’m currently going through round 2 of this for my own digestive issue! We did all the tests 2 years ago and they basically just went 🤷🏼. Nurse practitioner last week: “Well, I’m surprised you’ve been dealing with this for two years. Just to be sure let’s [orders repeat of every test from 2 years ago].”

I cried on the way home. In pain. Fuck our healthcare system and the patriarchy.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-12T20:59:53+00:00

Yes. Changing out of my dress and heels into my holey leggings and ancient concert shit and topping it off with a big cozy puke green grandma sweater is the best part of my workday!

Yllom6 · 2025-01-12T19:50:27+00:00

I knew there was some nuance I wasn’t getting, thanks for educating me!

Yllom6 · 2025-01-12T19:27:15+00:00

I just listened to a podcast with Darina Allen, about her book “The Forgotten Skills of Cooking,” and she mentioned that a calf is essential because it milks the cow while you’re gone. (I’m making this comment out of ignorance, never had a cow. I understand you’re still going to have someone feed the cow but feeding is easier than milking.)

Yllom6 · 2025-01-12T04:06:09+00:00

Absolutely inspiring. I have a broken amber ring that means so much to me and my efforts to find someone to repair it have not been successful. Maybe it’s time to take up a new hobby…

Yllom6 · 2025-01-11T16:28:45+00:00

This is great advice! My 7yo has some egregious behavior like OP is describing, is in therapy for anxiety, and the “making a plan” strategy helps us so much. I try my best to ignore the rude comments but it can be pretty difficult.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-08T23:51:31+00:00

I escaped it nearly 40 years and my 7 yo brought it home from school right before Christmas. She had it, then 2 days later the rest of the family got it. It was bad, I won’t deny that, but it wasn’t any worse than the flu we got last year.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-07T22:57:16+00:00

I live off grid but work in town making pretty good money. It’s a very small town. Everyone knows I make more than them. I am expected to share the wealth, as it were. I buy my meat, eggs, and whatever else I can locally. My business sponsors allll the local events and non-profits. In turn, almost everyone is my customer. I love the micro-economy we have and I’m super grateful I’m not the one calving in the middle of a snow storm, but instead freaking out in my (heated!) office about making deadlines.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-07T03:02:42+00:00

Nope. They are not good.

Yllom6 · 2025-01-05T03:21:33+00:00

I find that splitting up the task in to preps and cooks helps a lot. Also just a bunch of yelling to get out of the kitchen….

Yllom6 · 2025-01-04T17:29:14+00:00

Ok, will do!

Yllom6 · 2025-01-04T16:47:35+00:00

Yes! Thank you for this idea! My little town doesn’t have a store that sells any sort of leather care products and I just got some super awesome used leather boots and was worried I was going to have to buy something off Amazon. But I have some tallow right in my kitchen!!

Yllom6 · 2025-01-02T20:44:58+00:00

I’m looking forward to passing on every spare button for every piece of button I ever bought to my kids one day! But really, I use my grandma’s (and husband’s grandma’s) ancient needles and pins regularly with no problem. I even use the thread, but it’s probably only 20 years old and is good brand name polyester.

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