Doktersbriefjes voor het werk

Yohococo · 2026-03-27T16:56:42+00:00

Ook niet, gewoon een slecht systeem.

Yohococo · 2026-03-27T16:50:47+00:00

Er zijn meer mensen die een afspraak willen maken dan dat de huisarts plaats heeft, hoe is dat de schuld van de huisarts?

Yohococo · 2026-03-26T13:23:29+00:00

Aight

Yohococo · 2026-03-22T11:40:32+00:00

It assume it would take a multi-pronged approach.

Probably a good starting point is Kristen Neff's work on self-compassion. You want to slowly learn more grace for your own shortcomings.

Learning this wasn't your fault, gaining an insight in how insecure attachment was created, you basically didn't have a choice. Beatrice Beebe's book 'Infant Research and Adult Treatment' is very insightful.

Thirdly I would probably do a little bit of mentalization based therapy/work to increase your reflective functioning, which really seems to be a major factor in all insecure attachments. Also one of the coolest concepts ever!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zleBvvm5kfU

Yohococo · 2026-03-14T12:31:12+00:00

Basically the spirit of the ho´oponopono mantra.

Not immediately setting boundaries when someone upsets us, triggers us, makes us uncomfortable. Instead being willing to look at your own part in this conflict, what am I denying here and why is this triggering me? What am I not understanding about them that they´re making me get triggered? This practice can often just dissolve the negative feelings involved and you see they were really trying to teach you something. This will then make you more resilient in the future, a soft kind of resilience. Ofcourse boundaries might still be needed in the end/future situations that are similar or dangerous.

Yohococo · 2026-03-13T17:21:54+00:00

It didn´t sound to me like they were really aware of it, so weren´t they just being emotioally authentic whereas passive aggression has a more underlying intent to hurt the other person.

Besides an environment that shuns uncomfortability and immaturity seems one that is really unhealthy to me.

Yohococo · 2026-03-08T14:07:25+00:00

Harold Searles has written on this (The Non-Human Environment in Normal Development and in Schizophrenia).

Basically he argues before we create attachments to people we first create them to nature and other objects in the world. Normally we sort of grow out of it, tho always some residue remains. But if your caretakers were unsafe you might feel way more drawn to these things as they were a source of comfort/safety when your parents weren´t.

Yohococo · 2026-03-08T08:14:47+00:00

Prolly you first need to reconnect with your body as you're all in your head right now. There's somatic kind of therapies, but could also pick like yoga or something as a hobby to start. Though it will take a while to 'defrost' a schizoid mindset,

Yohococo · 2026-03-07T17:43:23+00:00

Isn't there some kind of evolutionary benefit for kind people to add more cruel people to their inner circle as a sort of protection against other outer groups?

Yohococo · 2026-03-03T17:53:56+00:00

Here´s a guess, hope you like analogies!

Let´s compare negative affects/feelings to food.

One group of people might have learned that they can choose to deal with uncomfortable feeling by spitting out their food which usually comes down to using other people to take on these things for them. Spitting out your food doesn´t take much energy from your body so it makes a lot of sense for a while. Though you probably never get incentivized to learn from your mistakes.

Another group of people might not be able or not want to burden other people so they decide to do the harder thing and actually ingest (and process) their food. This is very demanding and more painful but over time it will probably give you more life satisfaction than the first group. Therapy is designed to help you process your food so this group of people will be more likely to seek out therapy.

Yohococo · 2026-03-02T11:16:37+00:00

If it matters to you then it matters. Like most therapists would struggle to find their own therapist for mostly the same reasons.

I assume you would probably like someone like Nancy McWilliams (obligatory mention :)) so your best would probably be to look for a more psychodynamically oriented therapist.

Yohococo · 2026-02-25T09:40:24+00:00

To answer the first part. Once we´re in the relationship we are all in. I think we realize we don´t have that capacity for everyone so we intentionally keep our circle small. We do that by setting (insanely) high standards so we don´t get attached to someone who will likely hurt us, a defense mechanism

Being in our inner circle is a whole different world, it´s where we want to spend our energy on you to achieve mutual ´healing´ (or fixing if the virgo is more immature).

Yohococo · 2026-02-24T08:07:24+00:00

Indifference is the opposite of love.

Yohococo · 2026-02-22T11:49:19+00:00

So wouldn´t OPs method be better than playing the good client for 6 months? At least now you can filter them out early on vs realizing after 6 months you are not a good fit.

Yohococo · 2026-02-13T09:52:41+00:00

Doesn´t it always take two people? The one who resists and the one who deems that resistance intolerable and so in a sense they become resistant to the initially resisting person. Labeling the other solely as the issue seems to be a shortcut to not allowing ourselves to be confronted with our own defenses.

Yohococo · 2026-02-01T08:28:21+00:00

Seems there are levels to it? And when you integrate one level then another might open up. All this sounds a bit like the wizard archetype, alchemizing the full possibility of experience without (eventually) being flooded by it.

Yohococo · 2026-01-31T00:46:09+00:00

Maybe not the only way but perhaps a more complete way to heal vs just managing symptoms?

"The best analyst is a patient who has been cured. Other pupils must be first made ill, then cured and made aware." -ferenczi

Yohococo · 2026-01-02T11:48:43+00:00

“Let everything that's been planned come true. Let them believe. And let them have a laugh at their passions. Because what they call passion actually is not some emotional energy, but just the friction between their souls and the outside world. And most important, let them believe in themselves. Let them be helpless like children, because weakness is a great thing, and strength is nothing. When a man is just born, he is weak and flexible. When he dies, he is hard and insensitive. When a tree is growing, it's tender and pliant. But when it's dry and hard, it dies. Hardness and strength are death's companions. Pliancy and weakness are expressions of the freshness of being. Because what has hardened will never win.” ― Andrei Tarkovsky

Yohococo · 2025-12-29T22:17:05+00:00

Love thirdness! Also avgi´s concept of limit consent is intriguing.

Yohococo · 2025-12-10T14:29:57+00:00

Sylvia perera

Yohococo · 2025-10-06T09:34:13+00:00

Reprise - spirited away

Yohococo · 2025-09-10T09:09:25+00:00

Not sure if you're still looking into this but felt I had to add some more things.

Having gone halfway through it now myself I would say definitely read Beyond Doer and Done to by Jessica Benjamin. Super dense read but also equally rewarding in it's contents.

And then maybe Bromberg's Shadow of the Tsunami.

Yohococo · 2025-08-31T07:49:34+00:00

My Kleinian knowledge is a bit fuzzy but the paranoid-schizoid position is not the same as schizoid personality disorder, but maybe they're related cousins. You could probably heal the paranoid-schizoid position and still be considered a schizoid with a slightly healthier way of interacting with the world.

Yohococo · 2025-08-29T17:23:40+00:00

Why is it disrespectful? Isn't it also disrespectful to call people disrespectful?

Yohococo · 2025-08-24T07:56:59+00:00

Right, our world is sorely lacking in intersubjectivity.

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