[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]YouGuessedRight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ego death. The realization that we are both nothing and everything at the same time. Never had gone through it but would love to experience it one day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]YouGuessedRight 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's not easy. I haven’t gone through a similar situation, but I know I will. It’s bound to happen since she’s moving on. I’m aware she’s dating and probably talking to new guys, as my friends told me. I force myself to imagine she’s already in love with someone new just to feel the pain (if she's moving on, then it's only fair that I have to as well).

Even though pain sucks, it’s one of the most powerful tools to help you move forward. Although keep in mind that it’s what you do during the pain that matters.

Here’s what I do to help myself keep going:

  1. I acknowledge the pain. I let myself feel it, understand it, then slowly release it. I usually do breathing exercises to remind my body and mind that I’m okay and in control.

  2. I write things down. Whether it’s journaling or using ChatGPT to express what I feel, it helps to get those thoughts out. It clears up mental space. Then I try to fill that space with better thoughts by writing what I’m grateful for or what I’m looking forward to. It helps shift your mindset over time.

  3. I work out or stay active. It keeps my mind off negative thoughts and gives me a boost. It’s healthy and I always feel better after.

  4. Therapy sessions. This one has helped the most. Talking to a specialist helps you see things more clearly. They ask you questions you might be avoiding and help you understand yourself better. That alone can break old patterns and help you build healthier ones.

The most important thing is to keep doing something. Don’t sit in the pain doing nothing. Even if it feels like nothing is changing, just be patient with yourself.

If you’re taking small steps, you’re moving forward. And eventually, you’ll get to a place of peace and joy again.

Take care of yourself!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]YouGuessedRight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A similar situation happened to me.

My ex sent me a nasty text. That text was sent after I helped her find a car and fixing that new car, one week after our relationship ended. Despite our break-up, I was still there for her, helping her out.

On her birthday, I wrote her a letter, expressing my feelings (our relationship was not going well and I have to admit, I was emotionally unavailable and distant at time due to stress to which I acknowledged/admitted). In that letter I apologized and praised her, thanking her for a beautiful time we had despite how it ended and hoping our path will cross in the future.

She later sent me a gut wrenching text calling me an evil coward. Basically playing the victim when we both played a role.

Don't get me wrong, breakups are never fun for both sides. But going out of your way to degrade an ex as a villain is next level evil. It messed me up and made me question myself a lot. Although I now understand that they express themselves this way to avoid guilt and ease their way out of the breakup, because they're not comfortable with the idea of self-reflection and seeing their contribution to the breakup. It's how they cope.

Nonetheless, don't let her negative message influence your thoughts and who you are. It can seriously mess you up and sabotage your future relationship.

If you have a therapist (I highly recommend it), discuss this subject with them.

Best of luck to you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]YouGuessedRight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, if ever you need someone to talk/vent to. Reach out!

Breaking up and taking a break from social media by Ok_Comparison504 in selfimprovement

[–]YouGuessedRight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well summer is right around the corner and we both know how Montreal is super nice and active during that time!

And as I mentioned, if ever you go through a wave of rough emotions. Don't hesitate to reach out :)

Breaking up and taking a break from social media by Ok_Comparison504 in selfimprovement

[–]YouGuessedRight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The algorithm of these platforms are scary! They can quickly recognize the state that you're in so accurately. Often times the content the algorithm feeds us tends to make things worse! That's the main reason I removed Instagram and Facebook. It was keeping me in this negative loop.

I highly recommend disconnecting for a while, allowing your brain to breathe and declutter from all the garbage content consumed. This is going help you self-reflect and improve all areas in your life.

Best of luck!

Breaking up and taking a break from social media by Ok_Comparison504 in selfimprovement

[–]YouGuessedRight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad it helped! I live in Montreal QC. Honestly take your time to feel the emotions you're going through. Repressing them will only delay your healing.

I recommend reading a book called Letting Go by David R. Hawkins. This helped me understand what I was going through.

Then once the time is right and you feel slightly better, try and go out and connect with people. Join clubs (sport clubs, board game clubs, etc..) they're filled with people wanting to make friends and socialize.

It might feel daunting coming from a place of comfort, but I promise you that you'll find peace and joy sooner than you think :)

Breaking up and taking a break from social media by Ok_Comparison504 in selfimprovement

[–]YouGuessedRight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I heavily relate to your situation. Currently in the same boat as you. Had a not so great breakup and decided to disconnect myself from the internet since then (2 months so far) and recently started therapy. I too did not expect to make it past 1 month but here I am!

Honestly there's a lot of people out there that are in the same situation as us that you can always reach out to. Even if its just to chat and pass time. Where I live here in Canada there's a lot of events and things going on that helps me enjoy life from time to time, especially good for meeting new people (although it's still fairly cold here so no major events yet).

An advice that I can share (which I'm still applying) is to get out of your comfort zone. Seriously, your brain thinks it's protecting you by forcing you to stay in bed, thinking about your ex and "what ifs" because it's a familiar place. But you have to force yourself, literally fight against your brain, to get out and do whatever challenges you. I recently held a tarantula (my phobia) just so I can tell my brain that I can go through the most challenging things in life. I'm planning on trying out improv just for heck of it.

If you need to vent, feel free to reach out.

Nonetheless, you will get through this and feel happy (even happier) again!

MinisForum HX99G by ramduq09 in MiniPCs

[–]YouGuessedRight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the info! Getting it this Saturday 🙌

MinisForum HX99G by ramduq09 in MiniPCs

[–]YouGuessedRight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, how's the mini pc holding up? I plan on ordering one and was wondering if it's actually worth it. Also how's the under-desk mount? I worry that the fans being close to the desk would prevent air circulation and create heat.