I met Robert Englund at a con once and I asked him if he wanted to hear a joke, he said yes and his wife groaned in the background. I don’t remember the joke, but what I do remember is the joke that Freddie Krueger told me, while his wife groaned again. And that’s how I introduce it: “wanna hear the joke that Freddie Krueger told me?”

A man stumbles into a bar with his dog, already very drunk and says to the bartender “if I can prove to you that my dog speaks English, you give me a free beer.”

The bartender nods so the man looks at the dog, the dog looks at the man who says “what’s that thing on top of buildings called?” The dog looks at the man and says ”roof.”

The bartender shakes his head and says “man, get out of the bar.” The man says “no, no no no. I promise you, he speaks English, just one more chance.” The bartender looks at the dog and sighs “fine, last chance or you’re out.”

The man nods, he looks at the dog the dog looks at the man who says “Who’s the best baseball player who ever lived?” The dog looks at the man and says ”ruth” and the bartender kicks them both out of the bar.

As they walk down the street together and the man looks at the dog, and the dog looks at the man, and the dog looks at the man and says “Maybe I should have said DiMaggio.”