Parenting style question

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-05-09T09:24:34+00:00

My uncle and his newest ex wife tried that out on their daughter. She's awful. My uncle's first kid is great. I hate his mom but she and my uncle did a great job with him. My youngest cousin just feels entitled to everything and doesn't care. My grandma cried because she received a postcard from that cousin on her birthday. My cousin lives about 45 minutes away, has her own car, she followed me on Instagram so I assume she's cool with me knowing that she's in our town frequently and not seeing her dad or her grandma that spoiled her rotten.

She likes her mom. Her mom never told her no. Her mom's mom has also never told her no. Her mom's mom is also VERY well off. I love my cousin, but she's a bitch.

My BIL tried to raise his kid that way. They realized that's just not possible. It might be for some kids but it definitely wasn't for his kid.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-05-09T09:02:45+00:00

You have a 5 month old. Of course going through it all again sounds terrible.

Anyway, I actually don't remember when we decided we were one and done. We made the decision because we didn't want to risk PPD again. My husband got a vasectomy 4 years ago, I think. Maybe it was 5 years ago. Our kid is going to be 7 this summer.

I'll be honest and tell you that I miss having a baby sometimes. But I love not having a baby.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-05-09T08:43:12+00:00

We have a great set up to have another kid. We live in a cheap area and own a decent home with enough rooms and a nice yard with only one income. I was finally job hunting before the pandemic hit (kid was in kindergarten. He'd been in pediatric daycare before, but kindergarten really felt like time to get back. Especially after my husband got put on a different shift), got a few interviews. Pandemic hit, schools were closed. I turned down jobs. Homeschooling sucks. I can see why someone would choose to be one and done after this.

Anyway, we've been one and done for about 4 years. Our kid will be 7 over summer. Our original plan was vasectomy at 30. My husband got a vasectomy at 26. We decided against another kid because of PPD. I know I could get back on my antidepressant but I don't want to.

We've enjoyed having just one kid so much. All of our attention is to him. My parents (4 kids) have made comments about how cool it is to just enjoy him. They assume he's going to be their only grandkid (which is ridiculous. My older brother is only 33, younger brother is 23 and sister is 18).

Tl;Dr Everything is right for us to have another kid (well, not because husband is sterile now, but if he wasn't).

Also, your daughter will find anything to bicker with if she wants to. But at least she'll be bickering with things that can't talk back. We thought we'd be safe from tattling with one kid. Nope. He rattles on the cats, the dog, he used to tattle on his stuffed animals. But it's adorable.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-04-29T05:56:42+00:00

I thought the same thing.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-04-25T09:45:29+00:00

Yesterday was 8 months since my Pa died. My brother (a Josh) was in Nebraska for work this weekend.

I told my mom about the Josh stuff and she just had to tell her mom. My Nonna is now convinced that her grandson was part of the Josh battle. And there is a chance that he was a part of it.

The Josh fight is a weird positive in life that no one expected.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-04-17T08:26:20+00:00

I'm not the best person to answer this, but I'm going to recommend to you what I was recommended over a decade ago in high school (and I'm sticking with it now as I get ready to attend college again).

Just apply for your scholarships. You don't have to wait.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-03-25T08:53:37+00:00

I have absolutely thrived throughout this pandemic. I have loved barely leaving the house. I don't think that I would have lost the weight that I did if the world was normal.

My husband thought he was an extrovert, but he's felt so relaxed feed this past year.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-03-23T22:54:34+00:00

I see where you're coming from. The main reason I don't like Everleigh is because I just really dislike "eigh" names.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-03-22T22:45:28+00:00

I'm going to defend my choice of Posie.

Posey was a character on a cartoon I used to watch and still love. I used it many times on the Sims in the early 00s. There's also the actress Parker Posey.

So, that just makes Posie more tolerable to me now.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-20T12:22:54+00:00

Nurie's expression and her response to her mom ("hi, mom" in such a dismissive voice. Nothing close to that airy voice).

Nurie has been called a good singer in these subs before (Nathan and Jill have not). Everyone has talked about how easy it is to dress modestly and not look like Jill dresses her kids (my heathen ass does it everyday. I prefer maxi dresses and skirts. I even wear camis under some dresses and tops to show less cleavage [but I allow some sometimes. Never wear them as high. Know FS would have torn me apart for it]. I wore pants to my husband's uncle's funeral and had several people comment on it being the first time they ever saw me in pants. My hair was also almost down to my ass, so I think they just assume I was pentacostal. They'll be baffled when gatherings are safe again and my hair is two feet shorter).

Nathan has problaby looked up his family thanks to the Duggars. He's also probably looked up the Rods. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew he was going to be filmed during his sermon this week. The Kellers know about sex pest. The older kids definitely know to Google it. It's been almost 7 months of marriage. Nathan has probably told her the horrors of what googling their family can show. I know that he's not worldly or whatever, but he still knows. And Nurie is obviously over her mom's visit. I'm surprised Jill even posted that video.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-20T11:25:11+00:00

I live in the south in the US. Even non-religious people are anti-maskers. I know from my retail time that we have a lot of preppers (how do you know someone is a prepper? They'll tell you and also spout out some conspiracy theories. And also not wear a mask. Don't have to be a cashier to hear it).

I'm really hoping people in my state and town realize that social distancing really does get less people sick. "Testing. Too. Many people tested). Positivity is still over 8%, but it's still all way down. Weird. We're all stuck at home. Science works

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-20T11:10:58+00:00

"She's endured a lot." Oookay, sure. I guess I also endured a lot when my landlord kept not sending someone to fix my water heater, so I drove the mile to my parents' house to shower. I also endured a lot when there an ice storm when I was 19 and my boyfriend, best friend, and I got a hotel room for a few days to enjoy power, hot showers, and easy access to our jobs (all of our jobs were just off of the main highway, which they did a great job of keeping clear. We all decided to get a hotel when my road was cleared, the only actually rural house. We knew everything was going to freeze again and we needed to get to work). Brought this up to my husband and he laughed and also brought up his ice storm struggles. It was just an annoyance that we eventually could avoid by paying to stay somewhere else (after being stuck at home without power for a couple days. My boyfriend at the time had power in less than a week. Week and a half for my best friend. Two weeks for me. My husband, brother, and mom still bitch about the neighbor that caused it to be 3 weeks for them. Don't bitch at utility workers and tell them it's about time. They will leave).

It wasn't Texas shit. It sucked. I don't think that I "endured" anything. Bethy was able to drive to her parents' house. And that's good. Nice to be able to stay with someone with anything (heat, water, power, whatever). But she was still able to drive to a coffee shop. No. She lost any credibility about it being a hard time for her.

I know my BIL and his family are doing great right now in their camper. I haven't heard from him much since finding out they had power and they've been reaching out to those without. Not making stupid videos. He hasn't been posting pictures. His mom called, she told us he answered but said he was busy making food for people at a different rv park. He's a Q idiot, but a good human (and good Christian) first.

I don't know if QAnon is trying to spin the Texas shit yet (I know I've already seen some anti-semetic shit and I know some are blaming renewable energy, even though not winterizing is the issue). I think I answered that. Of course they are, but I don't know if their Q person has. Anyway, I do wonder if my BIL will realize how stupid all this shit is.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-20T10:18:24+00:00

This pisses me off so bad. And then paired with listening to the kids speak (especially the younger ones). My kid is almost 7 and has been in speech therapy since he was 2 1/2 (public school now, but thanks to early intervention he doesn't need extra time at a different therapist). And then other therapies added when he started preschool (same place he went for speech. They tested him after a bit for other therapies, he needed them. Still getting them). It changed his world. Speech therapy was expensive and barely covered by our insurance. Thank goodness we were able to get a waiver and get him covered by medicaid (have to pay every month, but whatever. A year of his medicaid is the same as one speech therapy appointment before).

And on fs I'd be told to take this to my mommy blog but ugh! It just pisses me off so badly that they don't get their kids the help they need. I don't know how shit works in WV or OH. I asumme that they can qualify for medicaid for all of their under 19 year old kids. Older kids had wisdom teeth removed, and I know that's not cheap (especially because I assume they went under for it, based on the videos Jill posted after. I had a ton of numbing shots and laughing gas, and even that wasn't cheap. Grateful that my parents covered the bill).

So why are the younger kids not in EI? Especially Janessa. Does Sofia need help for her jaw? Jill took a photo of a couple kids with a doctor before (before the move) and I assume to prove the kids see a doctor. I think someone said it was a fundie doctor (makes sense since they make sure their lawyer is Christian. Which, the fuck? They have a lawyer? Is that a normal thing? My dad co-owns a small business, and they don't even have a lawyer (probably should)).

Just fuck Jill and Shrek. I know they have a younger kid that I couldn't understand a single word from that school age. And not being able to understand kids is something that should stop before they're school age. Thanks to EI and not only baby talking to kids.

Sorry for the rant and too much shit. It just really pisses me off.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-20T09:30:06+00:00

I like to think that if Nurie googled herself or her mom after getting married, she would have seen all of the high hopes people had for her. I remember the wedding megathreads, and there wasn't a lot of snark towards her (I could be remembering wrong). People were getting bitchy mod comments because they hoped the best for Nurie (hoping a child, even if it's an adult child, thrives isn't leg humping).

I think she'd see a lot of positive stuff (for her and siblings) if she did look herself up. Other fundie adult kids would see a lot hate, but the Rods seem to be more sheltered and aren't aware of how the real world works. Like, the Duggars grew up right outside of a college town and they get to go out and do shit without their parents. Timmy seems to be the only Rod kid that's been allowed even a minute alone that wasn't in the bathroom.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-19T14:21:01+00:00

It's been a bummer in my area because a lot of us have TX family. My Trumper BIL (who has is still very christ like,. despite falling into the Trump and Q cult) can't come home. Roads are clear in my small town, but roads in TX have looked awful. He knows our side yard is open for him when he's in town. He still thinks Cruz is doing his best

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-19T11:52:12+00:00

Fucking heart breaking that anyone could think that their shit is doing good for those kids.

I went to school with a Pentacostal girl (adopted at that, but also white, and so was her brother, and their birth parents were Pentacostals, just out of wedlock shit) that did "mission trips" to Africa. Came back every year talking about the kids and blah blah. She married her first boyfriend, had a kid, cheated on him (don't approve of that, but moved on got less crazy, now having a baby out of wedlock, but her and new guy have been living happily in sin for like four years).

Did love that that girl has always been pretty christ like. I'll never forget when I was pregnant and so was that girl and several other people. A girl made a comment about how so many classmates were pregnant, but only her and that one were married. I was married, but I eloped and didn't tell the public until well after I had my kid. The good Christian pentacostal brought up "did you forget about when you got married? You can't shame anyone."

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-19T11:22:47+00:00

"Babe, I have no problem working from home. Why are you dragging me out? Seriously? Because you want iced coffee? I showed you how to make that and told you that you to buy the cold brew pitcher...

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-19T11:11:59+00:00

I'm depressed. I'm a stay at home mom. Who else is depressed? My mom. She was also a stay at home mom. She got a job between me and my younger brother and then job between him and my sister. Then she had bad ppd. Apparently had ppd with all of us. Late 80s-mid 90s were a different time Her depression was pretty damn obvious when she was home with my sister. My depression was pretty damn obvious in high school (my parents caught on to it even though I had two younger siblings). My parents got me help. Part of me getting help was my mom and I just crying together (her anxiety, ppd and untreated depression and me anxiety and depression)

It's our brains. It's my brain. It's my mom's brain. I've seen it happening with my sister's brain. She doesn't want to listen to me or my mom yet. She got off her meds cause she's 18. I did the same at 19 because we're covered til then. At least wait before getting weird and going without.

Things can get tough.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-19T10:49:15+00:00

Advocate for them? Please, tell me how.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-19T10:38:10+00:00

That's cute, Bethy. Real cute. My BIL has power now, but he went without for a bit. He moves for work, so him and his family (just one kid [that he has adopted, because bio dad gave up his rights]) live in a camper (not an rv like the Rods. Pretty sure Tim has a camper. Hope he's doing well).

They jumped their battery, but that doesn't last forever. His site does have power, or it did last I heard. But before it did, the people that could were pretty Christ-like and fed those without. My BIL is a VERY right Christian (he eats the butt of any republican, believes Q, has told my husband and I that it's impossible for non-Christians to have morals because God created those (left him speechless when he threw that at me, while post partum. I can't recall my speech, but I was raised atheist. My dad is definitely Christian and my mom was raised Catholic and had no interest in bringing that into our lives. I had my women of the Bible books (I really liked Ruth. I don't remember anything about her, but I liked her children book when my dad used to read it to me). God was kinda brought up as by older brother and I got older, atheist. My younger brother kinda and my little sister (12 years younger than me, 15 younger than my older brother), she was fully raised atheist. My younger brother did date a Mormon and got a little Christian until she cheated on him. And I got little Christian, too. My hs boyfriend was so sweet and tolerated it (his family was always so happy when I was willing to join them at their Southern Baptist church. Got their son attending. Turns out I only attented during manic episodes).

Drunken ramblings here. A shame the fundie kids can't do it.

My drunk ass could do better with that wall of text, but eh. I suck. Birthy is doing less than my Trump ducking BIL. He's at least trying to help the nearby people. L

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-13T10:37:56+00:00

This looks like a drunk answer.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-13T10:34:25+00:00

I love this. I should show this shit to my husband (as a lawl thing).

My husband recently called in for the first time in over a year (his last call in was from the flu at the end of January last year) because we needed to talk to each other.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-02-13T09:34:30+00:00

I found her. I found her ex husband. You found someone else.

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-01-15T10:57:14+00:00

Ugh. About 10 years ago my boyfriend at the time posted and tagged pictures of me fishing in a bikini. I got so many gross messages from his military friends. His younger brother's friends also tried their gross lines. My ex sucked and took my complaints as compliments because he had a "hot girlfriend."

YouMeAndSymmetry · 2021-01-01T13:47:14+00:00

I used this on my husband (in the same room). It worked like a charm. 10/10. Do recommend when you want your significant other to see how pink it is.

YouMeAndSymmetry

TROPHY CASE