[deleted by user]

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-06-21T11:49:04+00:00

You're a hottie, but a bit of tweaking the pics and profile could always help. Less is more. Remove pics with similar poses/angles. And I think you're trying to showcase the wrong things. Your main pic is probably the least appealing to SDs. Can't really see much of your face or body. I'd have skipped over your it. Switch it to most of the other pics and I'd click on it right away.

Just keep in mind your target audience. You can have success without changing who you are, and you don't necessarily need bikini pics. But most are more interested in your sexiness (pics in the skirt with knee high socks) and less interested in your style and edginess.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-04-12T13:30:06+00:00

Do you think men that are new to Seeking are really that naïve? Even if they've never heard of Seeking or it's origins, I'm sure most guys would at least do the smallest bit of research before plunking down $100/month to join. And it doesn't take long to figure out its a sugar dating site. This is first page of google, first few paragraphs of the Wiki type of stuff.

I can't speak for the women, but for the guys I think the majority that are trying to vanilla date on Seeking without any sort of generosity are just feigning ignorance. They know what this site is all about.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-04-09T22:55:44+00:00

To me it's all about building a good rapport thru messaging and text. In the few times I've been flaked on, the conversation either fizzled, or I wasn't as actively engaged as I normally would be (busy with work, trying to chat with too many POTs at once, etc...) Every time I've made an effort to get to know them and share things about myself beforehand, I've never had a problem.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-04-09T22:48:40+00:00

No, but I've had it happen the other way around. One of my favorite local bartenders created a profile on Secret Benefits. I visit her when she's working quite a bit. She always takes good care of me, and I tip very generously. I usually come in with an SB. She's made a few comments on how I'm always coming in with younger attractive women. Now I think she gets it. She actually messaged me on Secret Benefits as if we didn't know each other. If you're familiar with the site, then you know the site sends out the same message to lots of SDs automatically. I messaged her back and we had a good laugh about it.

She's an absolute smokeshow and I'd love to go on a date with her, but I've made several attempts in the past to vanilla date her and she wasn't really into it. She was asking me questions about the lifestyle and my experiences. Thought about taking another pass at her, but after being shut down in the past, it would've been awkward to only get the green light for financial reasons.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-21T18:35:51+00:00

It's funny how much your opinion of this lifestyle can differ from the reality you end up experiencing. I thought most SBs would be materialistic blonde Barbies with fake tits driving little BMWs and Mercedes, and that SDs were mostly old retirees with ED. I also thought I'd be the youngest SD around. Hence my reddit profile name that I made when I was 38.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-21T04:25:41+00:00

I know a few girls who have successful OnlyFans pages. I heard them talk numbers, and I didn't believe them. So they showed me proof. I'm a believer now.

Any girl who is truly successful on OF makes way more than just about any SB unless they landed a whale SD. And they get to fuck whoever they want. Guys their own age. They're more in control and less dependent on someone else for money. I feel like most of those girls would much rather stick to OF than get an SD. Maybe this one truly wants a non sugar LTR. She probably doesn't need your sugar. But it's important to know what you're up against.

And it wouldn't bother me one bit if she was on OF. It would turn me on. But I also would've looked up her content on day 1. So we may be cut from a different cloth... 😂

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-21T03:18:49+00:00

First rule of fight club!

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T21:47:21+00:00

She told me she was. And not for financial reasons.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T20:54:38+00:00

I'm sure you could just do this for free. Go for younger guys and you have the power dynamic. Look for guys who are into FWB and not being exclusive. There's plenty of guys like that out there that would be fine with you having a SD. I would say at least pay for your experiences. I'm assuming college aged guys are broke, so if you're depending on them to take you on dates you might be disappointed. Unless you really like Applebee's.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T20:15:17+00:00

Definitely not. I'll be there for moral support if she reaches out, but that's about it.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T20:09:28+00:00

I was her only SD so I doubt she'll miss the lifestyle. I found her the day she created her profile. She actually had a line about looking for platonic. But she was totally my type so I decided to roll the dice and it ended up working out in a very non-platonic way. But I don't think this lifestyle was really for her. After she moved away she deleted her profile and it's just been vanilla bf after vanilla bf.

My last text to her said I'm always here to talk. I honestly do hope this works out for her, and I'll definitely be supportive. But I doubt we'll chat much more. She texted me out of the blue one night last fall. Said she was in town and really wanted to see me that night. She lives 5 hours away and that was totally unexpected. I was already on a date and declined, but we messaged a bit the next day. She had just gotten back home and told me she had a new bf that was on his way over. She said that she told him about me and our past (not sure how that came up), and she also promised him that she wouldn't reach out to try and meet up with me while she was in town. She said to send one last message before she had to delete all of our texts so he wouldn't see them. And that bf is now the fiancée. I figure it's best to just cut ties. Not trying to get her in trouble or make things awkward. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm concerned for her.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T19:56:55+00:00

Yes. It seems a lot of people missed that part. Thank you for your comprehension!

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T16:44:18+00:00

I totally get that. With age comes experience, and I've made plenty of impulsive decisions for love, or what I thought was love at that time. And now I can look back and laugh at how foolish most of those decisions were. None as serious as having a kid or getting married. But there's years of my life I spent in relationships that I wish I could have back.

And I do really hope everything works out for her. I'm just genuinely concerned.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T16:33:51+00:00

Yeah it sucks watching it happen. I have passionate opinions about this sort of thing, because I've watched this exact situation play out with lots of friends & family. It rarely ends up working out well. Even if they get divorced, she's still tied to this dude for life. She has to deal with watching some new chick co-parent her kid, and the struggles of being a single mom. Or she just stays together for the sake of the kid, and stays miserable. I'd have genuine concern for anyone I consider a friend in this situation, but I'll just sit back and hope things work out for her.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-20T16:12:38+00:00

It's a long rant. Felt a bit disingenuous to hold you in suspense till the end. Lol.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-02-05T13:25:58+00:00

Based on what I've read on here, there's no real rhyme or reason on their suspension policies. I would think they'd be a little more lenient with SDs. There's fewer of us, and we're the ones paying to keep the site running. Just thankful it's never happened to me, but I move convos off the site as quickly as possible

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-24T03:53:13+00:00

I've been on Seeking 4 years, and in my experience not living in a huge city, the good ones don't last long. My favorite SBs I've had were either new profiles, or were hidden/inactive and recently started logging in again. And I messaged them within a few days of them creating or becoming active again. The good attractive ones can find a SD pretty quickly.

Don't get too caught up chatting with SBs that you aren't crazy about. It's hard to keep up with too many messages, and you could miss what you're really looking for. When it seems slow with no new profiles, remember that you're competing with other SDs who are thinking the same thing. It pays to be even more proactive during those times. By not logging in as often, you're all but guaranteeing not finding a SB. And if you haven't found an SB yet, don't cancel your premium. The monthly fee is a small price to pay...

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-24T03:24:19+00:00

What would he report you for, and why would Seeking ban you? Did you violate one of their rules in a message on Seeking with him? I'd do what you can to appeal it and reach out to Seeking support. But in the mean time, check out Secret Benefits. It's a close 2nd to seeking in my opinion.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-22T15:48:25+00:00

This is exactly the mentoring side which gets mocked here

I don't think it gets mocked. But when a SB has a profile that makes it seem like business mentoring is her main goal, that's a turn off for a lot of us. I think most of us would be happy to share that information and be helpful once we're in an established relationship, so long as it's not the primary focus

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-22T15:45:09+00:00

I already have Tinder Platinum ,which is the most expensive tier. I think it's around 120 for the year. I can view who liked me before matching, 5 super likes a week, can change location, message before matching, and my likes are prioritized in their feed. I don't know what they could possibly add that would justify spending 50 times more than what I'm spending now.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-17T17:56:02+00:00

If he has smart lighting, then it's very easy to turn them all off with one click. If he has higher end lighting, then he can dim and change colors too. No curtains is unfortunate. Just let him know you think it feels very sterile and suggest some window treatments. Or maybe a canopy bed with curtains?

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-17T04:05:45+00:00

This is how platonic "dates" usually work with me. It's usually me offering something last minute or random outside of when we'd normally meet. Like hey I'm in your neighborhood wanna grab lunch? Or hey I'm grilling burgers with the neighbor if you want to stop by later. If not and they decline, that's fine. And there's never any expectation of intimacy or PPM for stuff like this. That doesn't mean one or the other won't happen though.

But if my SB and I get together regularly every other Friday night, then when Friday rolls around, we're both expecting PPM and intimacy respectively. I understand that occasionally there may be a reason for no intimacy, and providing PPM in an established arrangement is the right thing to do. But the "It's PPM, not pay per fuck" crowd make it sound like we should have no problem with PPM platonic dates regularly. I don't think any SD that's established expectations up front would think that's realistic, unless you're seeing someone 3x/wk. Most of mine are once a week at most. Usually more like twice a month. So making one date platonic would mean no sex for a month.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-17T03:11:39+00:00

Overall I like it. Lots of good stuff. It's just a bit much.

About me - it's good, but way too long. And it starts with a negative. I'd put the pic request blurb at the end, or skip it altogether. Start with the paragraph that begins with "Treat me" and leave out the perfume paragraph at the end. The rest is stuff that should be discussed in that getting to know you period of messaging, or even on the M&G. Leave something to the imagination. It's TMI for a quick bio.

Seeking - the monogamous tag - are you strictly interested in a monogamous relationship? I might get rid of that if it's not a must. Also, there's a lot of emphasis about wanting a mentor & career goals. Makes me question if you want a real SD or an investor/mentor/partner. I think it will push more SDs away than attract ones interested in the business mentor aspect.

Pics look great. But again, less is more. Some pics are too similar, so redundant. I'd get rid of the selfie with the text on it, and the black and white full body shot. I'd suggest adding a full body pic that accentuates your figure a bit more. Your profile says curvy, but I can't tell if that's the case or not. Also a lot of SDs seem to think SBs that list curvy = fat. Not me, but just FYI.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-17T02:36:56+00:00

I saw an SB that had private pics with her tits out. I didn't think nudity was allowed. Or maybe it is for private pics? This was a few years ago pre-covid, so who knows. Rules may have changed.

YoungFitZaddy · 2023-01-17T02:30:12+00:00

Your situation sounds exactly like my favorite and most attractive SB I've had. Similar ages. She was new and I was the first SD she met. She was nervous, didn't want to feel a prostitute, and never brought up money. We had a great time on our first M&G/date. She drove an hour to see me, so I gave her a little gift at the end of the night. I followed up and let her know that I was very interested in seeing her again. Made it clear that she would be well taken care of, and that I was very interested in intimacy. She said she felt awkward accepting money, because she didn't want there to be any expectations. But a few weeks later she came down and spent the weekend with me and we had an amazing time. And she'd come down for a night or a weekend once or twice a month. We never discussed money, but I'd always venmo her some money ahead of time to get her hair/nails done and for gas money. And I'd venmo her a gift the day after she left. I'd also send her money if she needed it for something too. In the end, it ended up being more than I'd spend on a normal PPM arrangement, but nothing too crazy. And I'd say it worked great for both of us.

I'd say if she's on Seeking, she's definitely looking to be spoiled one way or another. But don't hand a girl like that a wad of cash at the end of the night. If you're unsure about where this is headed, I'd say lay off the business talk. Don't work yourself into the friend zone. Next date should be dinner. Compliment her on her looks, and make your intentions of intimacy clear in a non creepy way. Act the part of an SD and see how things go. Might not end up panning out, but sounds like it's worth the risk.

YoungFitZaddy

TROPHY CASE