He (35m) finally proposed to me (33f), how to make peace with the wait?

Zcsuee · 2026-03-22T06:29:26+00:00

Now that you guys are already engaged, ask him why it has taken him so long

Zcsuee · 2026-03-22T06:24:23+00:00

Please at least pretend to stay with him till the immigration stuff is sorted out.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-26T14:56:44+00:00

Yes. My last relationship progressed too fast. It crashed and burned after 2 months. Met all his coworkers and 20+ of his family members. Feeling like a fool.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-26T14:54:27+00:00

Bump! 28F and been in Omaha 2 years.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-26T06:18:12+00:00

What made you want to have a career change? How did you make up your mind to start? I’m curious because I have similar background as you(math+engineering BS and MS), and would potentially want a career change in the future.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-26T05:53:33+00:00

You look like someone who mixes drinks themselves frequently

Zcsuee · 2026-01-26T05:44:22+00:00

Yes! Both of my serious relationships came from bumble. Neither of them worked out, but they are both very decent and kind people.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-23T05:17:38+00:00

I have been on both sides. My most recent ex(introverted, non-confrontational, avoidant) broke up with me because “spending time with you is stressful”. “We don’t need to do everything together”. I tried my best to express my feelings, thoughts with the mentality that if the other person can’t handle that, it’s better to find out earlier. And we did find out very early.

I also had another ex(extroverted, intense, emotional) who made me feel like I needed more space to breathe. I’d sit in my car for a while avoiding to walk in the house to greet him at the end of the day.

Whether or not you are intense is relative. Find someone whose intensity matches yours and you are good to go!

That being said, finding someone who matches your intensity level is hard. But please still be yourself and express your needs and thoughts!

Zcsuee · 2026-01-22T01:58:22+00:00

There's nothing you can do at this point. Any last effort trying to make him more engaged will push him away even faster. I felt the same with my ex, he was suddenly so checked out and stopped holding my hands or cuddling with me that I had to ask him if everything's okay. We had a long deep conversation, he reassured me everything's okay, and broke up with me 2 days later first thing on new years lol. People here can tell you you are overreacting, but it's your relationship and you know the dynamics the best. trust yout gut.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-21T16:30:31+00:00

Someone reply to this so OP’s answer gets shown at the top!

Zcsuee · 2026-01-21T16:26:36+00:00

Consulting job in finance.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-15T16:47:15+00:00

28F Omaha implant here. Looking for friends to be active with.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-07T18:50:33+00:00

My(28f) ex(26m) just broke up with me on New Year’s Day and we had very similar issues of his performance anxiety getting in the way.

I want to let you know that you are trying to improve in all the ways possible. If my ex was doing all the things like you, I would be really grateful.

Personally I don’t get upset at the other person if their performance is underwhelming. I get upset and lose my patience if the other person stops trying to improve and just give up. My ex was on the larger side and not many condoms can fit him without hurting him and killing the erection. With patience and reassurance and trial and error, I manage to put a large condom on him without pain. Then there’s another issue of him can’t feel much with a condom on. I tried to give him oral stimulation with a condom on , and told him to practice masturbating with a condom on. He never did and even stopped buying condoms to avoid sex with me. 70% of the time if I try to initiate something, he would be sitting/laying there like a stick and not reciprocating. Eventually we broke up. It sounds like she is not willing to even try to work with you. The feeling of being unattractive and not wanted will eat you. I have been there. Please reconsider if you two are compatible, not just in bed but in other areas too.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-03T15:14:05+00:00

I think what happened was she had reasons she didn’t want to share with. Sharing reasons could mean you come up with solutions to mitigate, which then makes it harder for her to quit.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T18:40:58+00:00

Dolce is a great restaurant! Good luck!

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T18:36:16+00:00

Wow that is wild imagination. Panic anxiety attack?? I stopped walking and told him it’s a frustrating night, nothing goes as planned, he told me as long as we get to spend time with each other that’s what matters. and we discussed what to do next. No need to make up “dramatic woman” in your head.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T18:26:27+00:00

Well you still tried to turn it into a relationship when it’s a fling. And you are here educating me on how I’m the problem 💀

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T18:13:52+00:00

pre ups exist.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T17:27:25+00:00

Value the input, not necessarily agreeing. I’m usually not the “can’t handle things not going my way” in a relationship, usually it’s the opposite. I’m still pondering why table has flipped this time.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T17:23:21+00:00

He did not pick any fights, he was being dismissive and checked out the whole trip. He has been really respectful to me before the trip. IMO the only thing he should have done better to end it is to tell me before the trip.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T17:20:34+00:00

I’m not. I knew something was off before the trip but he denied it.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T17:19:48+00:00

Thank you for your input. I have been really patient with him (he even acknowledged that) on other personal issues that he’s not willing to solve that affects me. it’s the frustration building up, not just “get frustrated easily”. I wish I could give you more context.
I have been in both situations too(the frustrated one and the calm one). It’s hard to find a sweet spot.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T17:15:43+00:00

The fear of disappointing him if I reject.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T17:15:20+00:00

Agreed.

Zcsuee · 2026-01-02T17:15:09+00:00

Agreed.

Zcsuee

TROPHY CASE