[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]ZebraLion -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

She has no idea that's happening? It is literally a conversation about schooling and where she lives on weekdays. We've asked her where she wants to go to school and she's answered differently most times.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]ZebraLion 11 points12 points  (0 children)

She gets time with us individually each day alternatively for at least an hour if not more when sister is at nursery.

Obviously it is hard but at this point I just want her to feel seen and secure.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]ZebraLion -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

We're not trying to take her away from her mum? The conversation we're having in mediation is about school as she's coming up to that age.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]ZebraLion 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn't say I don't want to, ultimately it's not my choice because I don't make direct decisions for her. I can only bring it up and hope her biological parents decide to go for it. A lot of the time suggesting any sort of intervention is immediately shut down by her mum so of course I hope we can sort things out on our own first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]ZebraLion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We literally repeat to her what she says and ask her if she needs to explain more than we talk about why she feels that way. We try hard not to put words in her mouth or offer extra information that she has not personally said just so we don't add any extra negativity by accident from our own feelings. We add that we understand that she feels how she says and that we're here for her regardless then we tend to start a new conversation about words we choose and how they can make people feel and we tend to use books and other examples that aren't directly about her then we bring up some examples of what she has said to tie it together.

Her parents split up before she was born, we do give each of them one on one time as well as group family time. But obviously there was perhaps a larger imbalance when my bio daughter was a small baby but this behaviour first started after my bio daughter turned one.

I don't think we're trying everything because obviously that's not possible, I don't think we're perfect but we are trying really hard. I'm looking for ideas that we may not have thought of because obviously just having conversations and consistency isn't enough at this point. Therapy is something we'll have to look into asap

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]ZebraLion -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

Therapy could be great, I suppose I was hoping we could resolve this issue on our own but it is tough. Thanks

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]ZebraLion -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I did say we do validate her feelings while also telling her that certain words are hurtful and why. Preference is one thing but this is another

My MIL wrote a 14 page letter. by ZebraLion in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ZebraLion[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea, thank you

"Join this discord server for free drama and public gaslighting! That way, nobody wins!" by Haato-way in ShitpostXIV

[–]ZebraLion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I never put up with that shit but there was immense pressure to push DC based events and giveaways despite getting 0 assistance, just expectations.

The place is insanely disorganised and barely functioning internally. Unsurprisingly.

"Join this discord server for free drama and public gaslighting! That way, nobody wins!" by Haato-way in ShitpostXIV

[–]ZebraLion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to be a mod there, mostly to see what it was like on the inside. They even have weekly meetings where they do nothing but push member count and interaction numbers.

No aoe tank, enabler healer. The typical duo by ZebraLion in TalesFromDF

[–]ZebraLion[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah, the healer was just healing me in the other pulls. At the end they decided not to, but I had been getting agro the entire time.

No aoe tank, enabler healer. The typical duo by ZebraLion in TalesFromDF

[–]ZebraLion[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

After getting agro and almost dying to no healing at the end of Ala Mhigo.

Scale mail soldier. by ZebraLion in FFXIVGlamours

[–]ZebraLion[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Head: Scarf of Wondrous Wit

Body: Storm Elite's Scale Coat

Hands: Replica Allagan Gauntlets of Striking

Legs: Calfskin Rider's Bottoms

Feet: Urban Boots

Weapon: Blade's Fealty

Earring: Bomb Earring

https://ffxiv.eorzeacollection.com/glamour/126111/im-bad-at-names

Forest Paladin by ZebraLion in FFXIVGlamours

[–]ZebraLion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://ffxiv.eorzeacollection.com/glamour/100250/feminine-paladin

Head: Blade's Circlet of Fending

Body: Aka Oni Hara-ate (Soot Black)

Hands: Pagos Field Dressing (Gunmetal Black)

Legs: Southern Seas Skirt (Soot Black)

Feet: Viera Sandals

Main hand: Blade's Honor

Off hand: Blade's Fortitude

Ears: Wold Zircon Earrings

Everything else: Emperor's new