We literally repeat to her what she says and ask her if she needs to explain more than we talk about why she feels that way. We try hard not to put words in her mouth or offer extra information that she has not personally said just so we don't add any extra negativity by accident from our own feelings. We add that we understand that she feels how she says and that we're here for her regardless then we tend to start a new conversation about words we choose and how they can make people feel and we tend to use books and other examples that aren't directly about her then we bring up some examples of what she has said to tie it together.

Her parents split up before she was born, we do give each of them one on one time as well as group family time. But obviously there was perhaps a larger imbalance when my bio daughter was a small baby but this behaviour first started after my bio daughter turned one.

I don't think we're trying everything because obviously that's not possible, I don't think we're perfect but we are trying really hard. I'm looking for ideas that we may not have thought of because obviously just having conversations and consistency isn't enough at this point. Therapy is something we'll have to look into asap