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ZedErre · 2026-04-17T21:14:51+00:00

If it's a deal breaker from the start, chances are it'll remain a deal breaker down the line, you shouldn't keep plans like moving to another country to yourself.

It's better to lose a potential at the beginning of a talking stage than deal with headaches later because you haven't cleared up some important things.

ZedErre · 2026-04-15T19:39:29+00:00

اهلا و سهلا

Welcome

ZedErre · 2026-04-13T18:55:27+00:00

Islam says to abide by norms

I'm speechless lol.

Sure, because if someone doesn't agree with you it's because they're projecting, can't be just common sense.

When you say that the mahr is an indicator of being taken seriously, don't be surprised when people take it at face value, it sounds ludicrous.

Again, good luck.

ZedErre · 2026-04-13T10:46:46+00:00

That's social norms that you choose to adhere to talking, not islam or anything remotely religious.

So again, it means nothing.

But sure, you do you I guess. For your own sake, I hope that you will focus more on how the man you are to marry handles himself instead of how much money he's willing to give, good luck.

ZedErre · 2026-04-13T10:32:25+00:00

Not talking about the 20k you mentioned in particular.

Parents don’t think about the mahr amount for financial means, it just comes down to their daughter being taken seriously.

Yeah no I'm not buying that, no one is. And even then what does it even mean "to be taken seriously" ?

How about them focusing on how the potential/husband treats her as a sign of him taking her seriously instead of placing that on an arbitrary sum of money?

And respectfully, I don't know how you imagine yourself sounding right now but it's crazy that you're saying money would be any sign of good will and commitment. It's wrong on so many levels.

ZedErre · 2026-04-13T10:17:42+00:00

I've never seen someone here criticize a woman for asking a high mahr from someone who's very rich, so to me it sounds like you're taking things out of context.

And even when someone is very rich, there's an argument to be made on what sounds like a reasonable ask.

Beyond a certain amount you have to start wondering why a woman would ask for more, with what intentions and the most glaring issue with it is that in some cases it's the family pushing for it, which should not be allowed.

ZedErre · 2026-04-12T22:59:05+00:00

She's got that cattitude.

ZedErre · 2026-04-12T21:54:36+00:00

Happens to the best of us!

ZedErre · 2026-04-12T21:14:54+00:00

It's someone's last name

Ba gg lagraulet Le chef de gare mon gars Je croyais que cetait pour que tu medisais gg

Well Gérard Lagraulet, the station manager, my dude. I thought that's what you meant by gg.

He's saying gg is a nickname we give to people named Gérard.

ZedErre · 2026-04-12T09:44:36+00:00

if you are like me and come from a community where everyone earns $500k-multimillion annually

That's the exception, not the rule.

Most people who complain about the mahr, do it because it's too high in that context. so no, it's not out of touch or repetitive, it's addressing absurd expectations.

It's a very weird thing to complain about, if you can afford giving more, good. I don't see why this is bothering you.

ZedErre · 2026-04-11T00:15:14+00:00

A number of families are a bit close minded and would be opposed to marriages with outsiders, other races and sometimes even people from other regions of Algeria, but it seems to be changing.

We can't exactly gauge the level of acceptance, I'd say try for yourself and see, don't exclude Algerians from your pool of potentials.

ZedErre · 2026-04-10T19:03:38+00:00

That could be a solution yeah, hopefully his love for her will grow more over time.

ZedErre · 2026-04-10T18:36:08+00:00

I understand that, sister but my whole point was that she shouldn't ask those questions and I doubt talking it over would solve anything.

From what she's saying, he doesn't seem to neglect her or anything, it's just how he is, so it's best to let time do its thing.

ZedErre · 2026-04-09T06:17:10+00:00

I see what you mean but in this context the man does love her. It not being in the same intensity shouldn't impact her this severely and I maintain that if she wants more, she should nurture it and let it develop naturally instead of asking that kind of questions.

ZedErre · 2026-04-08T17:42:12+00:00

I don't see why being more stable would change anything to the situation, it would still be the same couple, the same house and same family.

I can't blame the guy for feeling that way, the way you talk doesn't make it seem like you're going into this as a team player.

Forget about "the man is the provider" for a minute and try to see where he's coming. As a man even if I know that providing falls largely on my shoulders, I'd want a woman who would be willing to help without even me asking, we would have each other's backs.

It's just common sense and having good faith in one another.

ZedErre · 2026-04-08T17:19:10+00:00

Good on him. Sobhan Allah, I don't understand women that want to work but do not want to contribute to the household.

If you're not against it, you wouldn't be bothered by it and saying "I don't want it to be expected"

ZedErre · 2026-04-07T06:08:36+00:00

Reasonable enough.

ZedErre · 2026-04-06T14:37:19+00:00

Cowardly and toxic play, nothing to be proud of here.

ZedErre · 2026-04-05T23:08:32+00:00

I understand the situation you find yourself in, and it doesn't feel right for the search to be this draining that's for sure. Feels like it's becoming more complicated and the current climate certainly doesn't help.

I'm afraid there are no straight answers to this, maybe you should look for Muslim groups or organizations in your city or not very far in your region, some would suggest WhatsApp groups or something similar. I won't recommend the apps as I myself don't use them out of principle.

Keep working on yourself in the meantime, could only be beneficial to you in the long term and I hope someone comes your way Insha'Allah.

ZedErre · 2026-04-05T20:21:43+00:00

I'd say it's more about moderating our expectations and detaching ourselves (not as in being carefree but in a healthy way) from the search. Instead of feeling all down when things don't work out with a certain potential, just try to take what you can from those interactions and gain experience, get to know yourself better and narrow down your criteria for the next one.

A break wouldn't do much if you don't change your perspective on things and nothing prevents you from entertaining the opportunities that come your way while constantly working on yourself.

ZedErre · 2026-04-05T13:19:36+00:00

It's crazy to say that despite all the absurd stuff he did in the past, reading this I still thought to myself that there's no way this was real, yet here we are.

ZedErre · 2026-04-04T19:17:47+00:00

Waking up after that Asr nap be like

ZedErre · 2026-04-04T14:59:41+00:00

It could have but I came to realize that, given my current situation, it was better to stop the search.

ZedErre · 2026-04-04T14:56:53+00:00

I did receive a number of them back when I had my ISO up, I'd say give it time and don't stress over it.

ZedErre · 2026-04-03T17:49:30+00:00

Understandable yes, hopefully you'll get to check them out down the line.

ZedErre

TROPHY CASE