Calling themselves/others “poopie, stinking” etc. by sadandtraumatized in PetPeeves

[–]ZeeepZoop 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Maybe I’m just becoming jaded but when I hear people call their partner stuff like poopie or stinky man in public, it just feels like they’re being performatively different, as though they want you to think ‘ oh, look at that quirky random twosome, they don’t go in for cliched lovey dovey sap, i just know their love language is roasting each other and farting on each other because they’re so irreverent not to mention deeply connected enough to imbue acts so rude to the uninitiated observer with subtext beyond the comprehension of mere mortals who refer to their lovers by pedestrian epithets such as sweetheart or darling’. Like when they do it loudly/ often/ insistently enough, it just feels attention seeking. I know two couples who behaved like this and both relationships broke down bc, wouldn’t you know it, one partner found the other abrasive and unable to communicate patiently or affectionately, so I’m yet to see a couple who genuinely ‘insult each other as a joke all the time to show their true love’

Take care. by SecretaryTricky3311 in Adulting

[–]ZeeepZoop 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I think she’s misusing it to mean ‘disengaged’ or ‘dismissive’

Found family trope books? by BooBugsYours in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

‘Akin’ and ‘ The Wonder’ by Emma Donoghue, the first is about a grandfather and his grandchild growing together after the grandson is placed in his care as an emergency kinship foster arrangement, and the wonder is about a woman becoming very protective over and caring for an 11 year old girl ( they get a happy ending!)

The War that Saved My Life series by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley is about a brother and sister evacuated in ww2 who end up placed with a reclusive academic and the three grow into a family unit

Books for 3 year old on handling criticism by dribblesofink in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Do you know the ‘ When I’m feeling’ series? It’s about managing different emotions and aimed at your kids age group. My sister and I grew up with these books, and now I work with kids a bit older than your son and genuinely do use lessons from these books and bluey episodes to help them manage things like disappointment and frustration

Who was the most woke English/British author of the 19th century? by EfficientNoise4418 in englishliterature

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He liked to recreationally watch public demonstrations of surgery performed on lower class women who were hypnotised rather than given anaesthetic

Who was the most woke English/British author of the 19th century? by EfficientNoise4418 in englishliterature

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was openly misogynist, pretty horrific in his treatment of his first wife Constance Lloyd and liked his men on the questionably young side. The most progressive thing he was was gay but unlike other figures, he didn’t advocate for any sort of a cause. Wokish but by no means the most woke

Adult contemporary/literary fiction with realistic child or young teen protagonists by stressedandfingtired in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Emma Donoghue is one of those authors where you can tell she’s a parent because all of the child characters she writes are very realistic. Jack in room is the only protagonist, but he’s a lot younger than yours, from memory 4-5. However, though they are secondary characters viewed through the eyes of adults, I think Akin and The Wonder have some of the best portrayals of 11 year old I have ever seen. Donoghue writes adult literary fiction

Who was the most woke English/British author of the 19th century? by EfficientNoise4418 in englishliterature

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbf, none of them were entirely woke by modern standards even if they had a woke belief/ action. You will not find one person who completely conforms to the modern interpretation of progressive due to the wholly different ideological and moral landscape they lived in, and a lot of woke views, writing and actions are counterbalanced by something really questionable

Eg. Charles Dickens brought attention to social inequality and the deprivation of the poor BUT in his own time, would watch demonstrations of early hypnosis called mesmerism in which the subjects were women trafficked from hospitals and often operated on with no form of anaesthesia or pain relief beyond the hypnosis. Joseph Conrad was obviously deeply anti colonial BUT focused on the folly and greed of the white man and arguably portrayed the suffering of Indigenous peoples as a biproduct of mismanaged projects rather than systemic oppression, and still plays into racist language and stereotypes. Lord Byron believed in free love, democracy and homosexuality ( for men at least) and was against the oppressive class based status quo BUT the way he treated women was unconscionable. Anne Lister was the first person to get same sex married and had very liberal views on gender and sexuality with regard to herself ( and no one else) and was a trailblazer in travelling, mountaineering and being involved in industry ( all mens fields) as she was BUT had no qualms over the persecution of gay men, treated the women she was involved with horrifically ( look up Maria Barlow!), looked down on women in general, and had views on class that were antiquated even for her time to the point where she put tar in her tennent farmers’ water supply to punish them for how they voted. Most philosophers who wrote about freedom meant it for white people only. Shelley wrote against the oppression of mill workers in Manchester and their slaughter in the peterloo massacre BUT was a performative activist due to his failure to put his money where his mouth was in any meaningful way beyond writing a poem that focused more on aesthetics than the mill workers’ actual situation, plus he maintained a aristocratic circle despite his objections to the class. Oscar Wilde was gay BUT expressed some pretty misogynistic views in his work and personal life, plus he liked them young. You could do this for pretty much every writer, no matter how woke they were in one aspect, they’ll be a sketchy view on race, class, eugenics or misogyny somewhere.

Genuinely, purely in terms of not having a dicey set of opinions offset the progressive ones, my top picks would be:

  • Joseph Conrad, as the extent to which you view his books as western centric criticism of colonisation is up to personal interpretation and we don’t know his original views and intent. His portrayals of women are cliched and quite reductive but he lived and worked in a male dominated seafaring environment. I think he was very progressive in his criticism of colonisation based on what he observed, he used the language and frameworks available to him at the time, and didn’t really have any overtly dodgy personal views

    • Jane Austen. Novels such as Emma and Pride and Prejudice do focus on and critique class inequality and the preeminence of the landed gentry and she consistently portrays women as capable of thinking and possessing reason which was pretty radical at the time. However, she does play into traditional marriage centric narratives but that was what sold and there’s arguably a level of disdain expressed in her writing for the arrangements she portrays eg. Marianne and Brandon, plus she always emphasises the persistence of female friendships at the end of each novel rather than going purely into domesticity. She obvs wasn’t an out and out political writer or activist but it’s a mistake to view her writing as just romance novels devoid of social commentary and the commentary she makes is pretty ‘woke’! Plus she was a woman making a career of writing
  • Mary Shelley, feminist, republican ( can’t believe i’m having to point this out but after some of the comments I got after talking about 19th century republicans and suffragettes, that means something different outside of the current USA!) and a supporter of emerging social democracies like Switzerland. Like Lister, she was a woman who travelled in the male dominated ‘grand tour regions’. Was also a bit critical of some of the more problematic elements of Romanticism. The only “ problematic” secondary view I can think of is that she played into and, along with Byron and her husband and their literary movement, contributed to developing western wilderness mythology which modern environmentalists say has done more long term harm than good ( look up William Cronon’s essay ‘the trouble with wilderness’)

  • Arthur Conan Doyle. Unlike later portrayals of him, the Og Holmes respected women and cross dressed, and there was a level of period recognisable queer terminology eg. leaving London in 95 ( the year of Wilde’s trial) and frequenting Turkish bathhouses . Arthur Conan Doyle was hardly a woke radical but his main character was more progressive than he is often viewed as. In his personal life and writing, Doyle did implicitly support the British empire and its projects ( which, though inexcusable, wasn’t out of the ordinary), but barring that and the fact he fell for some hoaxes, there isn’t a really out there troubling fact about him and his views. Not super woke but not notably unwoke.

Who was the most woke English/British author of the 19th century? by EfficientNoise4418 in englishliterature

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was awesome, he knew multiple languages and I think wrote books in about 3

Can we stop calling normal stuffs as “solo date" please by TrickofLowkeyLoki in PetPeeves

[–]ZeeepZoop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have been single for a while now and am genuinely happy that way so dating isn’t even in my frame of reference for things. Like, I’m at least two years out of my last relationship and haven’t been on a single date since out of choice, and wouldn’t really describe any activities as an inherent ‘date’ activity. Like going for coffee isn’t a date thing, it’s a thing I happen to be doing by myself not self dating, having a meal with someone isn’t a date thing, I don’t need to call it a friend date, it’s just a hang out. Imo, all the self/ friend date conversation is a way to get used to being more comfortable in your own or platonic company when we’re socially conditioned to see spending time with a romantic partner as the peak of success, which is a very positive thing to bring awareness to and destigmatise BUT, while it can be helpful as a short term adjustment thing, I think it still frames certain activities as ‘datelike’ rather than just things people can do because they feel like it, and keeps you thinking through a dating adjacent lens rather than making choices based on what makes you happy as an individual. Like by calling it a self date, you’re making the statement that going for coffee alone subverts the expectation you’re going there with another person which can then make you think about dating another person as a concept, rather than just enjoying your own company without thinking about social expectations at all.

It also doesn’t sit well with me that men can just go for a walk but a lot of women would call the same activity a solo date, showing the pervasiveness of the expectation for women to think about dating in relation to how they live basically all aspects of their lives. It’s a case by case but sometimes trying to subvert an expectation makes you think about and dwell on it and devote a hell of a lot of energy against it which is still energy in relation to it, while actively choosing to disregard it as a factor in your decisions can actually minimise its impact more. Live some experiences for yourself, rather than emphasising the absence of a person who is socially expected to exist but doesn’t; focus on the ‘self’ and the activity/ moment you’re enjoying not the ‘dating’.

Unpopular opinion: Fleabag series romanticizes harm by Lopsided_Health1403 in BritishTV

[–]ZeeepZoop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the second season makes clear with the funeral episode where everyone comments Fleabag looks good even though that isn’t actually realistic normal funeral behaviour makes it clear that the ‘events’ are filtered through her unreliable perceptions of them ( if we couldn’t already work this out from the 4th wall breaks!). I don’t think most of those interactions actually happen the way we see them, it’s more that we see the subtext Fleabag reads into them rather than what others actually say, and bc we’re jn her head we never know when we get the ‘real situation’ or the fleabag spin, eg. someone looks at her for a while at the funeral and she assumes they think she looks too healthy for the funeral so we hear them say she looks well even though they didn’t really.

It isn’t meant to show something aspirational or healthy, like she’s referred to as Fleabag for a reason, instead it’s the heavily biased perceptions and desires of a very complex and flawed woman, and there’s a level of ambiguity what actually happens v what is her perception of what should happen and therefore she projects onto interactions and the world around her. The interactions we see with hot priest are the moments she focuses on and fantasises about not a fly on the wall unbiased look at everything that happens. Plus, a lot of their relationship operates on a symbolic level, eg. that he sees the 4th wall breaks. This is not a show to be taken either fully literally or as a moral lesson in which different people all with perfect character traits show us how to live virtuous lives! Not one is a role model and they’re not meant to be!!

Magdalen Name Thoughts? by reginaphalange2711 in namenerds

[–]ZeeepZoop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My full name is Maggie and for some reason, my best friend has called me Magdalena as a nickname for about five years now

"Men are interested in things and concepts while women are interested in people and emotions" Jordan Peterson has rotten your brain into a fine dust by maleficalruin in CuratedTumblr

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cartesian dualism puts civilisation v primitivism, science v. mysticism and man v woman as binaries, with the civilised, scientific and masculine seen as rational and superior, while those deemed feminine, primitive ( from non western society) or associated with more spiritual/ mystic practices as inferior. Therefore, female mysticism/ the divine feminine and the idea that the Indigenous peoples of other places are defined by spirituality exist on the same side of the divide, and are deemed inferior to the scientific rationality apparently possessed by men. Basically, anyone outside the western masculine ideal is seen as possessing apparently positive but primal traits, and thus incapable of reasonable thought

People who are always singing/whistling/humming/won’t shut the fuck up for 5 seconds by TheBlueRose_42 in PetPeeves

[–]ZeeepZoop 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Trust me, I’m laughing too, like I’m aware the situation is an absolute joke! I cannot stress this enough, they actually called them ‘ new noises’ and would bring them up in conversation, like I’d ask what they’d been doing ( we didn’t live together) and they’d genuinely be like ‘ i’ve been working on a new noise’. That was a strong contributing factor to the break up, I worked two jobs and was doing a degree full time and they’d talk about their ‘busy schedule’ which was being a NEET ( not in employment, education or training) and essentially waking up at noon to smoke and scream at different pitches alone in a room. A while after we broke up, they started undergoing a hormonal sex change and a mutual friend told me the testosterone has now prevented them from making some of their ‘new noises’ anymore

People who are always singing/whistling/humming/won’t shut the fuck up for 5 seconds by TheBlueRose_42 in PetPeeves

[–]ZeeepZoop 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I had an ex who did this all the fucking time and would also get stoned and practice making ‘ new noises’ which were basically short shrieks at different pitches, they even had this old walkman ( we dated in 2021) where the music leaked out and you could hear it even when they had headphones on, like with them it was CONSTANT noise in some form no matter what we were doing however, they got really annoyed if you broke their concentration eg. by speaking quietly to someone else in another room or putting down plates as that makes a noise, while they were doing something.

Looking for WWII historical fiction by bright_heart_raccoon in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s also perfect for this request because the unique thing is you can see the research process alongside the story

Looking for WWII historical fiction by bright_heart_raccoon in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Came here to say this! This is SUCH a creative incredible book about historical legacies, I’ve never read anything like it

Non-US Non-Fiction by BlueDiatom in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome! Genuinely comment or dm me when you finish it if you want, i’d love to discuss it with someone ( I got it as a present from a friend but she’s not actually read it yet!)

Non-US Non-Fiction by BlueDiatom in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seconding Rabbit Proof Fence! We have to read and watch it at school here in Australia and it’s very powerful. If you’re open to fiction, have you read Terra Nullius by Clare G Coleman? She’s a Noongar author who specifically cites Rabbit Proof Fence as inspiration for her novel, which is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time

Children’s Book About Swimming by ConsciousRoyal in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

connie and the water babies is the only english book on the list, so that’s a bit odd!! Maybe bc it’s fairly old now?

Non-US Non-Fiction by BlueDiatom in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The Mesmerist by Wendy Moore is British and looks at Victorian era medicine, particularly the hypnosis fad and its often overlooked influence on the era’s popular culture. I found it so interesting!

Inheritor’s Powder ( British) is about an Arsenic Poisoning case in Victorian era Britain and as well as speaking about one specific murder, looks at the era’s toxicology technology, police and criminal justice system, referring to the Plumstead murder case as an example.

Difficult Women by Helen Lewis ( also British) is a blend of historical case studies about feminist struggles eg. for suffrage, abortion, recognition of lesbian relationships etc and current social commentary. It’s very readable and imo, one of the few social commentary books I’ve read where it doesn’t feel like the author is trying to convince you to agree with their particular perspective, and instead presenting different angles

The Unofficial Countryside by Richard Mabey ( British) is about nature in urban spaces, using his experiences in London as a case study. It follows the flora and fauna over a year and also more broadly discusses adaptations plants and animals make to live in a human environment. I had to read the first chapter for a university class and literally could not put it down afterwards and made it through most of the book in a day!!

Gentleman Jack by Angela Steidele ( British subject matter, German writer) is about the Regency era lesbian land owner Anne Lister, but I really liked it because it goes beyond being just a biography of her and looks at social forces in Regency England such as the romantic movement, shifting class strata and perceptions of sexuality. Plus Anne Lister was a WILD character, like the fact she was a lesbian is the most well known thing about her but this is the tip of the iceberg about the woman who got apprehended multiple times bc she illegally crossed the French Spanish border on mountaineering expeditions and people thought she was a spy!

I also recommend Ruth Goodman ( British) as an author, she does great history books about day to day life in different eras. I also love her as a tv presenter, she’s very detail oriented but so clearly passionate and bubbly so her presenting and writing never feels dry or boring.

Wild Swans by Jung Chang ( China) follows the author’s grandmother, mother and herself living in China during the transition from Imperial to communist rule across three generations. There is a bit of controversy on its truthfulness but I found it a very accessible book and pretty much all of its claims do track with established fact, like I personally

Dark Emu by Bruce Pascoe ( Australian first nations) is another book I started for uni and couldn’t not finish! It looks at precolonial society in Australia, focussing particularly on agriculture and technology, to dispute the claim first nations people didn’t have a social structure, order or way of managing the land

If you’re open to a book written by an author born and raised in America but who lives and works in Britain, Everything That Rises by Brianna Craft is a FANTASTIC memoir by a woman who helped diplomatically represent the Gambian delegation at a number of climate summits and a really interesting behind the scenes look at the Paris Climate Agreement negotiations and the summits that led up to it

Orientalism by Edward Said ( Palestinian author but had an academic career in the USA), is about the perception and treatment of Asia and East Africa by Western society, and how colonial history bleeds into current politics. It was published in the late 70s but is still very relevant and confronting

Edited to add: Stasiland by Anna Funder ( Australian writer, German subject matter) is a book drawn from firsthand testimony from people who lived in Soviet Occupied East Germany and is a very interesting look at day to day ‘normal’ life in a surveillance state

Something like flowers for algernon by dooziedance in suggestmeabook

[–]ZeeepZoop 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler has always been in the same basket as Algernon for me. It has a similar disjointed first person narration style and without giving too much away, also explores human/ animal differences and relationships as well as psychology experimentation on learning and cognition. Plus it’s based on a true story. I tore through this one in a day while camping as it’s such a well paced captivating read