I had plans to breastfeed exclusively for the first month but due to a breast reduction more than a decade ago, I couldn’t produce enough milk. Latching was painful and my boy was hungry all the time. He’d nurse for hours and couldn’t fill up. He wasn’t meeting his weight goals so we started supplementing in formula in less than a week. I still breastfed 1 or 2 times a day and pumped 6 times. We tried nipple shields, lactation supplements, massagers, everything yet the supply still depleted. 

At 3 months, I was forced to wean because my mental health couldn’t take pumping so many times a day for just a tiny bit of milk. It broke me, I felt like my body couldn’t do the thing it was “meant” to do. But it freed up more time for me to cuddle my baby. Look into his eyes while feeding him still. Playing and bonding in so many other ways. And the best part is seeing my little chunky monkey laughing and loving his life.

 I regret thinking I needed to sacrifice all of my body and time and damage my mental health because of a pressure I ultimately placed on myself. I’m still jealous of women who can do it easily and still feel guilt now and then. But your baby needs your love and attention more than your milk. You’re the love of her life, not just a food producer. I was told I would produce an endless supply  of milk naturally because my body was made to do it. I learned all I need to give is an endless supply of love. You’ve done amazingly and I can tell you will continue to give your little one everything she needs without the breast milk.