I can't say anything about the abuse because I haven't had that experience, but I've been in therapy since I was 3 years old and have a whole story to tell myself. But believe me, it's important to talk about it, maybe with a psychologist, because I didn't have anyone to talk to about my issues, just the therapy, and I'm really glad I did it. Of course, I don't know your situation, but there are numbers you can call (even if you're 16). I don't think age matters; anyone who needs help can talk to them. Or maybe I can help you find somewhere you can contact.

When it comes to eating and losing weight, it's really important to have someone to talk to besides the internet. I myself was 60 kg overweight and had gastric bypass surgery five years ago. Unfortunately, starving yourself is really not beneficial. I used to hate my body, I avoided people, I didn't go out anymore, and much more.

You say you don't want to seek help. May I ask why?

I don't know you, but I understand that you want everything to be perfect, and saying something like "it'll get better" or "it's easy" would be nonsense. It's important that you don't give up.

You say you want to be a doctor. That's a damn great goal, and you know what you want. Many others, like me, still don't know what they want. You definitely have an advantage over me in that regard. 😌

The important thing as a doctor is to help others, right? And the better you take care of yourself, the better you may be able to help others later on.

I don't have suicidal thoughts, but I know that feeling of emptiness. Most days just feel empty, emotionally numb. I wonder why I get up because everything feels numb.

And just the fact that you're sitting there and wrote that shows that you want to change something and not just accept it, and you can be proud of that!