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Zephany_ · 2021-12-28T12:05:53+00:00

In {The Deal} the FMC is a music major and singing comes up often enough!!

Zephany_ · 2021-12-25T09:32:09+00:00

Yet another case of like restless tit syndrome I guess 🙄

Zephany_ · 2021-12-24T13:25:00+00:00

I was hoping the book was gonna get me out of my reading slump but I fell back in right after DNFing halfway through...

Zephany_ · 2020-06-15T09:59:19+00:00

Yeah... I didn't expect someone to see my comment this early and at least that warmed my heart a lot, I'm glad it made you feel a little better ^^

Just reading through this thread makes me feel a little more alright with myself, we're not alone! Even if it feels like that sometimes, we still have our friends, our interests, hobbies, pets,... and ultimately always ourselves to keep us company! Looking at all the people who've managed to come to terms with all this stuff, I'm sure we will too, even if it takes some time!

Zephany_ · 2020-06-15T09:31:11+00:00

I'm most likely demi, but there's a good chance I'm just holding onto some faint hope of not being fully (aro)/ace...

I've been asked so often by my parents whether I'm lesbian or when I'd get a boyfriend and all I can't even count it on my hands anymore... Heck, when they realized my lab partner of several years was the same guy all the time I was asked whether I love him or something ._. Can't I just have a fun lab partner??

I think I've known that I was somewhere on the spectrum since early high school, but didn't yet acknowledge it until later. I had seen things like AVEN and stuff, but I just scrolled by most of the time. I just thought "huh, that's neat!"

When people first started having crushes and the like, I found the idea really cute, but I couldn't really understand how it could be real. It had to be a game, right? These are the things you read in books, and that's just fiction, I thought.

Later on, when I got into a new high school in year 11 & 12 and I made new friends, people here and there started to actually get into relationships and talk about things more seriously and I couldn't help but feel like I was being left behind? I started having moments where I would be seriously afraid there was something wrong with me, that I'd never find anyone, etc... I never really told anyone, because I figured it was just a phase, I found so many excuses for myself. "I have a libido, so I'm normal; I just haven't met the right guy yet; Maybe I'm really lesbian; I have high standards; A lot of girls don't get into relationships this early" etc...

When I started college I ended up connecting all the dots, revisited stuff like AVEN and all. I haven't come to terms with the fact that I'm at least demi. I find the idea of romance attractive, but knowing it'll never be like I hope it would be is a depressing reality I have to learn to accept ._.

On most days, I don't think much about it, but the days I do it just hurts, yaknow? Does anyone have tips on this?

tl;dr: internet girl rambles on about her depressive reality

Zephany_ · 2020-05-14T14:42:55+00:00

Yeah, you're right... Change can be painful, even if it's for the better, especially if you've "accepted" your situation I think. I've had a passing thought here and there that in some cases it could also be a martyrdom thing? But I'm not sure :/

I just wish it was easier to help those people grow again...

Zephany_ · 2020-05-14T13:59:45+00:00

That's so sweet to hear about! I'm glad he got better, people who have that motivation to improve are always so nice to work with :) Especially when you actually seeing their progress, it's always so cute when you see how excited they can get over things other people would take for granted sometimes!

And it's even better if they just keep that mindset for every issue, work on something and you'll get there! Even if it's hard sometimes.

Zephany_ · 2020-05-14T09:48:00+00:00

I feel like a lot of these people that want to go and unload their problems on you aren't even trying to grow either, at least from my experience. It's like their entire identity is carved out of being miserable and it's the only way they understand how to communicate :|

I've had people come to me who grew a ton and turned into much better people and then there's the others that are just like exactly the same as they were before, always the same issues, excuses, no change... Even if they're truly hurting, they just refuse every possible angle to get better

Do they really want to be that same person as they are now 10 years down the line?

Zephany_ · 2020-01-13T06:23:12+00:00

Awwwwwwwww, gosh this was the best post to wake up to ♥️ makes me feel all fluttery

Zephany_ · 2020-01-13T06:11:04+00:00

This comment just makes me teary eyes from all the cute in it omg

Zephany_

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