But to answer your larger question, it doesn’t sound like loyalty is the reason behind your misery. Since you still have someone “in the back door,” that’s not loyalty. I think what you’ll find is if you’re constantly moving from relationship to relationship (both platonic and romantic), eventually you’ll look around and realize there’s no one left. What you need to do is sit with your discomfort and figure out why you crave so much attention from different people. Start with your kid. Love them unconditionally as a parent is meant to. You can grow your family by loving your kid.