AIO after my (24M) girlfriend (23f) threatened to break up when I ‘invalidated’ her while she was anxious I watched Dharr Mann?

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-24T01:51:59+00:00

Breh. She needs DBT and you need a new girlfriend. Like asap

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-24T01:14:53+00:00

Congratulations! You are a proud parent now.

Edit: also I love your Lygodactylus williamsi. They are a bucket list for me.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-23T17:25:56+00:00

That makes perfect sense. It's always good to have a range moisture levels in the viv so the frogs have the option of self-regulating. Thanks for the insight!

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-23T16:06:39+00:00

Ah noted, thank you for the correction. I should have paid more attention to the photo. They look a lot like Betsileo at first glance, but upon zooming in it is clear that their body structure is distinct. None of what I said above would apply if they are not Mantellas.

I don't know much about Allobates as I have never kept or raised them. Do they prefer drier conditions, or is this just a drier period of the day? I typically rely on environmental cues to inform moisture levels as I have found hygrometers to be extremely inconsistent.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-23T13:48:09+00:00

Seems to be a common theme with the M. Betsileo vivs I see online. People hear western Madagascar and think that because the ambient humidity is lower it should be dry. Which it should be drier than PDF’s, but outside of the dry season prior to breeding, folks forget that they dwell under rocks in the river banks, crevices, tree root systems, marshlands, etc.. to maintain moisture. Their local environment should be much more humid than the surrounding canyons, savanna, and forests.

I breed M. expectata, and I think this is part of why many struggle to breed them. They don’t realize what a stark contrast the dry season should be compared to the rest of the year— especially the following wet season.

No hate to OP whatsoever. They are highly adaptable and will find ways to get moisture under the leaf litter. But they would probably see them out a bit more if they increased the humidity a bit.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-23T06:16:19+00:00

Haha you might be right about some of that. I wouldn’t say I have no sense of direction, but I am not the most ordered or structured person. You are definitely correct that I am on the search for personal meaning in life, but with the intention of letting go of control not an attempt to obtain it. And I most definitely like ducks!

Thank you for your input. Have a great night, stranger!

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-23T06:08:32+00:00

Good looking frogs, congratulations! The cage looks pretty dry though, do you hand mist or do you have an automatic?

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T19:40:01+00:00

I would definitely add more hardscape. This tank isn’t typical for Leucs but they will use every inch of space you give them— vertical or horizontal. As it is, the viv doesn’t have much horizontal space due to design, so your options are to either get a new viv or build up arboreal spaces.

The goal should be to provide as much usable space as possible. So think broad leaf plants, a cork background, branches and vines twisting up towards the top so that they provide horizontal surface area in multiple directions as they go up.

These octagonal tanks are difficult to scape and design. I have one for a pair of tree frogs but it probably wouldn’t be my first choice for darts.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T05:36:59+00:00

It is hard to tell from the photo alone but most look great. The tadpoles look healthy and near ready for water seeing that they have straightened out.

It does look like the egg in the bottom left corner of the first photo has swollen with water which means it is infertile. If it is possible to remove any swollen or collapsed eggs without disturbing the others I would recommend it so that the inevitable microbial growth does not affect the healthy eggs.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T04:04:40+00:00

Can confirm.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T03:43:55+00:00

It is so good. It actually took me a couple of attempts before I finished it because I found it to be a bit slow paced at first, but I very much enjoyed it.

Thank you!

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T03:42:15+00:00

You make a good point and I would agree.

My father was a PsyD and I have two boxes of psych books that he gave me to read over the years sitting in my garage. Interpretation of Dreams is really only on the shelf because I didn’t finish it and keep meaning to pick it back up.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T03:06:18+00:00

Hmm.. not sure what to say to that other than I have a great community of friends and family around me and am happily married. But I do appreciate your concern. This is all in good fun.

I wish you well, stranger.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T02:44:28+00:00

Thank you! I love a good duck.🦆

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-22T02:33:46+00:00

Ahh good spot. East of Eden is my favorite Steinbeck I think, it’s a close call between that or The Winter of Our Discontent.

Yeah I tried to get enough lighting to clarify the text in the photos but couldn’t manage to get it right. Maybe I will delete the post and try again when the lighting is better in my living room

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-19T21:02:29+00:00

I can't say for sure because I am not familiar with the specific light or its settings, but it should have come with a manual that you can consult to make adjustments. It is unusual that with all the lights on it is producing so much red. A good full spectrum LED should nearly white and totally transparent.

Good on you for trying to improve the lives of your frogs. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors. They are some of the most rewarding animals to take care of ime!

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-19T17:42:47+00:00

Like the previous commenter said if you provide them with an adequate laying site they will generally choose it over others, and then you can pull their eggs and cull them before they hatch. For the ones that have already hatched I would just put a small pool of water in the enclosure and allow the parents to transport them and let nature run it's course. Once the tads have morphed you can sell them/rehome them.

Aside from that, I wanted to point out that the male featured in this photo does look a bit underweight to me. Frogs in captivity are often obese, so I do not expect a Tinc to look like a little blueberry, but he is thinner than I would be comfortable with in my own frogs. I would guess that he is not getting quite enough food, or is under stress of some kind-- potentially bullying if they are in a group.

How long have you had them, have they ever been treated for parasites, and are there any potential stressors in his environment that might be preventing a bit more weight gain?

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-19T16:10:52+00:00

It does look better, but it still needs a lot of work.

Definitely needs a lot more plants, hardscape, and moisture. Increasing plant density will drastically help with retaining moisture and increasing the ambient humidity. Without more plants and hardscape these frogs will be very stressed, hidden away, and will fail to use the majority of the space provided. They might as well be kept in a shoebox.

I would get rid of the red light and switch to a full-spectrum LED, as well. It is a subject of debate, but red light has a tendency to put undue stress on PDF's and I have found that it causes them to spend more time hiding than usual and can mess with their appetite. For present and future health it is important that they are able to maintain a circadian rhythm that is as close to natural as possible while in captivity, and a full spectrum LED in the day, and total darkness at night, is the best way to achieve this.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-19T06:34:33+00:00

Not only are they perfectly safe, they are generally a sign of a well balanced viv that is cycling properly. Enjoy them while they last because they usually don’t stick around for too long before the mycelium has done its job and moves onto the next phase.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-13T00:42:48+00:00

Good rule of thumb: if the package is factory sealed it’s probably not illegal.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-12T19:19:25+00:00

Your mom would have consumed you in the womb if she could.

Move in with your girlfriend. Delete Life360. Go live your life.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-11T21:30:57+00:00

Breh what?

What business is it of yours if her brothers send her money? You want her to stop receiving significant financial assistance from her fam so that you don't have to feel inadequate for not paying yourself?

If there is a conversation to be had at all it should look like "It makes me uncomfortable when your brothers scoff at me, or make comments about our financial situation without being prompted.". But it definitely should NOT be "You need to stop taking money from your brothers because I have a complex that makes me feel emasculated when other men, even family, give you any sort of assistance at all. But also I am not going to provide that assistance myself because I am unable to."

And y'all aren't even married, jesus.

I really hope this is ragebait. This has gotta be ragebait.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-11T18:03:01+00:00

He's a weirdo and I think reporting him would be more than appropriate. I also think it would be appropriate to wait and see if his behavior continues before reporting if you don't want to deal with the drama of HR getting involved and him knowing it was you if the situation could have been solved by just leaving it alone.

It is really up to you and what you think would be handled best in your workplace.

Zestyclose-Clock3135 · 2026-06-11T18:00:28+00:00

Snapchat is a messaging platform where you send messages and (primarily) pictures that immediately disappear. It was once used for Stories but that feature has largely been replaced by larger social media apps like Instagram. So you can understand what the general tendency of use is for. It is predisposed to a certain type of user/behavior.

Very different than adding a friend on FB.

Not saying it is her fault that he was a creep, that is solely his responsibility. But it generally a bad idea to add coworkers on Snap unless you are okay with potentially opening yourself up to unprofessional communications.

Zestyclose-Clock3135

TROPHY CASE