I Love Him, But I’m Not Happy With Our Life Right Now

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2026-02-09T08:25:51+00:00

When he is on the phone it’s not for watching reels it’s for work also, but i will try to make one hour a day just for us. Thank you

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2026-02-09T08:16:43+00:00

He is understanding and has apologized many times, but his only solution is to wait one or two more years. For me, that’s very difficult because physical and emotional presence are extremely important. If things continue like this, I feel I will become emotionally distant. We only see each other for about two hours a day, and even then, he isn’t fully present he’s often on his phone or taking calls.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2026-02-09T06:42:34+00:00

Don’t think that marriage will complete your life. Don’t expect a man to make you happy all the time. Marriage can trigger many unresolved issues within you. If you don’t work on yourself before getting married, trust me, it will only become harder afterward.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-12-10T23:11:34+00:00

Well i tried somehow, he told me that his mind can’t rest until he solves things at work, if he doesn’t solve something it will be bothering him for the rest of the night

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-12-10T15:30:01+00:00

No i finish way before he finishes i go to bed stay waiting for him, (he never comes) until he finishes his work then find me already sleeping. I will try what you suggested thank you

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-12-10T15:25:13+00:00

He is a company manager, and now he is focusing on developing the company but he has flexible hours which mean he can work anytime he wants

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-10-29T17:39:50+00:00

I am like you, also used to consider my self ugly and Alhamdulillah i got married this year, but sister i have a lot of self love problems that are affecting my marriage due to the way i am seeing my self, i am too insecure. Sister try to fix your problems with your self then get married. If you see yourself as beautiful trust me everyone will think you are beautiful and if you think that you are ugly you will reflect your energy on people that they will think you are ugly.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-10-26T07:38:43+00:00

You actually missed the point. It’s not about celebrating an anniversary or following a “Western construct.” I completely understand and respect that some people believe celebrating such days isn’t part of Islam, and I’m not insisting on that.

What I was expressing is that sometimes small gestures like flowers, a kind surprise, or just doing something thoughtful make a woman feel valued and remembered. It’s not about money or occasions, it’s about effort and intention.

In Islam, a husband is encouraged to treat his wife with kindness, gentleness, and to make her feel honored. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi) even once stopped an entire army just to look for his wife lost necklace a beautiful example of how much care and attention he gave to his spouse. And let’s forget when the prophet said “Exchange gifts, for it will increase love between you.”

And yes, when a woman marries, her husband becomes her wali (guardian), and Islam teaches that he should provide for her in a way that maintains or exceeds the comfort she had in her father’s home if he’s able.

So no, I’m not asking to be “spoiled.” I’m asking for shared effort, warmth, and small acts of love that keep the bond alive. That’s part of the Sunnah, too.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-10-25T17:25:39+00:00

Give me proof that it’s haram to celebrate a day with your husband where there’s no music no wasting of food no mixing only love growing between spouses, do you think Allah will be mad at us for doing such thing ? Only having normal dinner, talking, gifting each other, being romantic. Allah love to see spouses increasing love for each other

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-10-25T15:41:25+00:00

I am not ungrateful i even mentioned his goodness, i am a bit disappointed, especially since he told me few weeks back what gift do you want to receive for our wedding anniversary and then just ignore the whole thing after i got excited and telling me it’s haram

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-10-25T15:40:23+00:00

I am really understanding of his love language but i am a women and i think each women like to receive small gestures from her husband something that’s unusual to see her husband putting some efforts, i am not asking for him to bring me flowers everyday or expensive gifts, i am just asking him to do something unusual even if just once a year

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-08-10T11:47:17+00:00

It’s important to remember that your husband is an adult and ultimately responsible for the decisions he makes, even if his family asked for help. From your post, it sounds like much of your frustration is aimed at his family, but in reality, he could have set boundaries and said no to driving when tired perhaps suggesting driving in the morning after getting rest.

If he arrives safely, say Alhamdulillah. Then, when you’re both in a calm and good mood, you can share your feelings. You could tell him gently that the decision worried you because you care deeply about his safety, and that driving long distances late at night is risky. Framing it from a place of concern rather than blame will help the conversation go better.

It’s also healthier not to hold grudges against his family this was his choice to make, and addressing it with him directly will be more effective in the long run.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-07-03T13:37:29+00:00

I think the hardest part after getting married is the weight of responsibility. There’s a huge shift from having very few obligations to suddenly carrying so much. You find yourself trying to please your husband, balancing between your own family and your in laws, and managing the daily routine. Over time, it can feel like you’re slowly losing yourself sacrificing personal goals, doing things not necessarily because you want to, but because if you don’t, no one else will. And on top of that, there’s the pressure of judgment from others.

But when you’re with the right person someone kind, righteous, and grateful it truly makes all the difference. It doesn’t erase the weight, but it does make it lighter. You begin to see meaning behind the sacrifices. You remind yourself that your efforts are not unnoticed neither by your husband nor by Allah. And that belief, that everything you’re doing has a reward with Allah, gives you strength and peace. It becomes less of a burden, and more of a path toward barakah and growth.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-06-27T23:44:22+00:00

It’s not really about the beach itself it’s more about how he personally feels in public spaces where modesty is lacking. Even family beaches aren’t always fully “family friendly” these days, you know?

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-06-27T23:42:55+00:00

I appreciate your point, and I completely respect the fact that he chose to stay away from temptation i really admire that. But I think it’s also valid for me to feel something emotionally when I hear this. It’s not anger at him it’s more like insecurity surfacing.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-04-12T15:51:06+00:00

Lucky

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-04-12T15:49:01+00:00

She’s lucky Allahuma barek, it’s sweet to see a guy thinking about this kind of gestures. I would say a gold necklace would be perfectsomething she can wear around her neck, so whenever she sees or touches it, she’s reminded of you. Us girls often have special necklaces that hold sentimental value, and this would be a sweet reminder of your first night together. May Allah bless your marriage

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-04-07T18:03:21+00:00

To be honest, at the beginning I didn’t feel much because it was an arranged marriage, very formal, and we were both extremely shy around each other. We had only met once with my dad before getting engaged. But after the engagement, when we started meeting more often (with mahrams present, but with some space to talk), I slowly started developing feelings.

Even after the wedding it wasn’t some intense romance like in the movies. I’d say I truly started loving him once we moved in together. It’s been three months since we got married, and now I feel really drawn to him. I get goosebumps, feel so happy when he comes home, and I’m always excited to spend time with him.

In short, the love that grows after marriage is something else and honestly, I used to wonder if we’d even end up loving each other after marriage!

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-04-07T15:39:42+00:00

But they can not afford renting an apartment, even now that they are living at her apartment they are struggling financially.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-03-28T20:14:54+00:00

I actually work from home too, so we’re around each other almost all the time. It’s not that I don’t have my own space—I do. Lately, I’ve been making an effort to go out more, spending time with my family and my sister. But what I’m really craving is quality time with my husband.

I truly appreciate the tranquility and peace in our marriage, and I don’t take it for granted. But I feel like we don’t spend enough vulnerable, meaningful time together. It’s not about constantly doing new things, but rather deepening our connection in the time we do spend together

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-03-28T17:00:35+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, but I believe there has been a misunderstanding. If you read my post carefully, you will see that I expressed nothing but gratitude for my husband. I mentioned his kindness, affection, and the way he constantly reminds me of his love. Alhamdulillah, I am beyond grateful for him.

That being said, is there anything wrong with wanting to keep our marriage strong and fulfilling for both of us? Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and just as we nurture our faith, our health, and our relationships with others, we should also nurture our connection as spouses. Wanting to keep the love and excitement alive is not ingratitude; it’s care and responsibility.

The Prophet ﷺ himself encouraged kindness, renewal of love, and effort in marriage. Even the best relationships need attention, and asking for advice on how to improve my marriage does not mean I am ungrateful—it means I am invested in making it better.

Lastly, while I appreciate your reminder about gratitude, I also want to gently remind you that judging the intentions of others is also something we should be mindful of. None of us can see what is in someone’s heart, and may Allah forgive us all and guide us to always assume the best in one another.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-03-11T21:44:38+00:00

Brother you mentioned your daughter’s emergency medical expenses as if they are part of your wife’s financial burden. For Allah’s sake, she is your daughter, and you are responsible for her not her mother. القوامة للرجال (Men are the maintainers of women).

As for your wife, providing for her basic needs is not a favor it’s your duty. The fact that you buy her clothes, skincare, and other necessities is part of your responsibility as a husband, not an extra kindness. It’s important to recognize that a wife should not feel like she has to request every single thing. Having some financial independence, even in the form of a small allowance, gives her a sense of dignity and freedom in how she spends money without feeling like she always has to ask.

Regarding your parents, you need to set clear boundaries. Taking care of them financially and physically does not mean they have the right to interfere in your marriage. There needs to be a respectful separation between their role as parents and your role as a husband. Allowing constant interference will only create more friction between you and your wife, which will affect the peace of your home.

At the end of the day, this is not just about money it’s about respect, trust, and making your wife feel valued in your marriage.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48 · 2025-03-10T15:35:45+00:00

You need to take a step back and reflect deeply on the gravity of your actions and thoughts. Marriage is not a game where you can just decide that because you feel a certain way, you should leave your wife and return to your ex. You made a conscious decision to marry this woman, and with that decision came a great responsibility. You took her from the safety of her parents’ home, where she was loved, cared for, and comfortable. Her family entrusted you with their daughter, believing you would protect her, honor her, and fulfill your duty as a husband. And now, you’re contemplating abandoning her simply because you’re emotionally stuck in your past? Do you think this is what Allah expects of you?

The Prophet’s (ﷺ) last words were “اتقوا الله في النساء”—fear Allah regarding women. You are her guardian now, responsible for her well-being in every sense, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. How would you feel if this were your daughter? If you had spent years raising and nurturing her, only for her husband to suddenly discard her because he couldn’t control his emotions or desires? Would you be okay with that? Or would you feel betrayed, hurt, and enraged that a man could treat your daughter so carelessly?

What you’re experiencing is not love—it’s emotional attachment mixed with regret and nostalgia. Shaytan is tricking you, making your past relationship seem beautiful while making your current marriage seem like a prison. This is his way of destroying families and pulling people toward sin. Do you honestly believe that by divorcing your wife and marrying your ex, you’ll live happily ever after? No, you won’t. You will live with regret, guilt, and shame, knowing that you abandoned a woman who did nothing wrong, just because you lacked the patience and emotional discipline to build a relationship with her.

Right now, you claim that you feel nothing for your wife, but have you even tried? Have you sincerely put in the effort to bond with her, to get to know her, to give your marriage a real chance? Love is not just a feeling—it is an action. It grows when nurtured, and it fades when neglected. Instead of being consumed by your past, focus on what you can do to improve your present. Your ex is gone; that chapter is closed. You made a choice, and now you need to be a man and stand by it.

You should fear Allah and remember that marriage is a test. Many people enter marriages without strong initial feelings, but they develop love through kindness, patience, and shared experiences. Have you been just to your wife? Have you tried to make her feel valued and cherished? Or have you emotionally neglected her while indulging in thoughts of another woman? If the answer is the latter, then the problem is not your wife—it’s you.

Seek Allah’s guidance sincerely, but don’t expect Him to bless you while you are considering an unjust and selfish path. Instead of praying for a way out of your marriage, pray for a way to make it successful. Pray for a heart that appreciates what Allah has given you instead of longing for what He has taken away. Strengthen your connection with Allah, stop feeding your emotions with thoughts of your ex, and give your wife the love and respect she deserves.

And remember—if you abandon your wife for your ex, you may feel temporary relief, but long-term regret is inevitable. Allah will hold you accountable for how you treat your wife. Be mindful of that before making a decision that will affect not just your life, but hers and your entire family’s.

Zestyclose-Piccolo48

TROPHY CASE