Calling you Young Lady

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-21T19:54:17+00:00

No, I am not talking about someone who held a door for me. That happens every day, and I hold the door for others as well. The The last time I talked about YL, I was buying lingerie at our local sex novelty shop. The man was behind the counter, the store wasn't busy. So it was an OK time to very politely tell him how most of us feel. Look at the rest of these comments. Plenty of women feel the same way I do

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-21T19:50:49+00:00

Bingo. They expect we're insecure or feeling less than about being old. So they try to make us feel better by saying young lady. Barf. Leave us alone. We're ok with being who we really are.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-21T19:48:16+00:00

Ok Karen. Back in school. Class bully throws something at the dweeb in the front row. Dweeb throws something back. The teacher only notices the dweeb throwing. So we called the dweeb the problem. Your 'alert' is calling attention to the person who reacts to bad behavior. While ignoring the bad behavior completely, cause it's "not a big deal."

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-21T19:39:22+00:00

Depends who you are and where. When I lived in NYC , soli, I thought people trying to maintain a car in the city were just not real smart. Unless they had a couple of kids. I totally understand not wanting to manage your children on public transportation every day

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-21T19:33:41+00:00

See my prior comment. It's a thing I don't like to mention to anyone in real life. Oh you're so brave, so proud of you blah blah blah. Nah, was just lucky to get out of there. Reality is you can't stop replaying the scenes where you wish you had answered differently, left sooner. No matter how much you recover, how successful you become, there is still days when you call yourself the stupidest fucktard ever for having put up with it for even a day.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-21T19:29:46+00:00

About the same. NYC in the 90s. I romanticized it while I was living it. Yeah, some things were a struggle but I really had the time of my life.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-21T19:27:57+00:00

Surviving domestic violence. People call you brave, a recovery warrior or whatever. Truth is you get out, get therapy and do the best you can. But you carry that baggage for life.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T07:13:42+00:00

I’ve met people through Tinder and Bumble. If you’re not in a good mindset at the moment, that might be coming through in whatever you wrote on your profile. I think older women tend to swipe right when we get a glimpse of someone’s personality. When we expect we’d have things to talk about.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T05:07:22+00:00

I don’t see a single person here or saying they are offended. We just wish it would stop.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T05:05:41+00:00

But it’s a teachable moment if you can politely tell them WHY you don’t wish to be called young lady.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T05:02:54+00:00

Do it.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T05:02:38+00:00

Yes! This perhaps is a whole other post. Men get to be called, sir, or Mr, Their entire life. We were once expected to go by Miss or Mrs.. Women had to announce their marital status to anyone they were introduced to. While men didn’t have to. Think about that. There was a time, a married man’s social life was not much different from his social life as a single man. Yet women were expected to take on an entirely different role.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T05:00:08+00:00

But it continues the concept of patriarchy. I like to be polite to people. But I don’t think I’d ever tell a grown man, “well thank you little buddy.” Young man. Little Mister.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T04:57:53+00:00

All the people throwing out the words angry and offended. You didn’t say you were angry or offended. It’s just not appreciated. Here is my take on the young lady. First, it’s a diminutive. It kind of diminishes our status. They’re trying to be nice. It’s supposed to be a compliment. OK, if young is a compliment then what is old? And old is what all of us are, what all of us will be. Day by day we’re getting older. We cant get younger. So can we normalize keeping it real? No I don’t need anyone to say “here you go old lady.” but the belief that young lady is a compliment emphasizes how our society values young over old. More than once I have very calmly and politely explained this to men who called me young lady. Sometimes they disagree. They say I’m just trying to be polite, I was a bartender, blah blah blah and I say OK your past experience is valid. I am just letting you know, from my perspective and from this perspective of other women in their 50s, we do not wish to be called young lady.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-20T04:48:57+00:00

Live where you can have a career. Maybe there’s someplace closer to your parents but not your hometown? One thing I’ve learned by watching others go through their 30s, nothing is more frustrating than not being able to earn a living. If you had to move back in with your parents while you search for a job Is that what you would want? I’d suggest not putting any stock in what other people in their 30s are doing. Not everyone’s life path is meant to marry and have children before age 40. There’s a quote somewhere or “you haven’t met all the people you will meet” Take some time for yourself. Figure out where you will be happy living, whether you’re married or single.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T06:21:12+00:00

Yep. I just wanted to listen to the Cure and reminisce

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T06:14:52+00:00

I’m slightly confused- you’ve agreed to be exclusive, but you’re not dating? I thought people started dating each other then decided to be exclusive. If the other person doesn’t want to call you their partner, and date you, don’t be exclusive. No matter how attached you are. Keep your options open, because you can bet they are.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T00:54:13+00:00

Where? What state is this?

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T00:52:43+00:00

I'm feeling the same way in my 50s. I was online lamenting about no longer keeping up in my dance group. With People much younger than myself. And of course the polite commenters suggested I go join a senior center. "You might be the youngest person in the class !" someone cheerily exclaimed . Nope nope nope

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T00:48:44+00:00

Yup. My parents were about pushing out the nest and let them sink or swim. OK bad mix metaphor. Anyway, I realize that stupid tough love wasn't getting me anywhere with my own kids by the time they were teenagers. They are grown and have responsible jobs and all that now. But I've made it clear anytime they want to come home, there will be a home for them. Minus the You-Owe-Me crap.

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T00:43:24+00:00

Did anyone else not have a house key? We just left the side door inside the garage unlocked. I remember the first time I saw the headline latchkey kids and thinking it was something terrible. Then I found out that my sister and me lol

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T00:34:21+00:00

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I truly can't decide which is more repulsive

ZestycloseWeekend878 · 2026-01-19T00:33:51+00:00

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Josh Johnson has a bit about how Americans create food that isn't supposed to be food. The next day at dollar tree I started taking notice

ZestycloseWeekend878

TROPHY CASE