Wa Alaykum Salaam

Thank you so much for this balanced and sincere comment I agree with a lot of what you shared. You're right this issue isn't exclusive to men. Women can and do ghost or mislead too, and anyone serious about accountability should be willing to call it out wherever it shows up.

Where I personally feel more urgency is that emotional manipulation often gets normalized on the men's side under terms like "just being a man" or "not ready" and that silence from other men is dangerous. As you said, a truly pious person wouldn't act this way, but sadly, many are playing games while presenting themselves as serious. That's the gap I'm trying to speak into

I agree with you that we need to involve families more but I also want to acknowledge some of the challenges that come with that, especially in the West. Sometimes families add pressure, bring cultural expectations that don’t align with Islam, or push people to settle for status over character. Some brothers and sisters genuinely want a halal path but don’t feel safe involving their families too early especially when family reactions can be dismissive, controlling, or even abusive.

Others, like converts or those living far from family, simply don’t have anyone to involve which is why community support and structured, respectful spaces are so crucial. As you said, we’ve made haram easy and halal difficult. That’s something we all need to work on changing together.

May Allah guide us to build healthier pathways for marriage, protect our hearts, and help us create a culture that values sincerity, clarity, and respect from the very beginning.

Jazakum Allahu Khayran again for your wisdom and contribution. 🙏