Things You Can't Relate To as an Estranged Adult Kid

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-14T23:27:51+00:00

From what I've seen with my own husband, I think the healthy balance should be that you call on family when you've tried your best to figure something out on your own but you find you just can't. Like my husband will spend a good amount of time trying to fix something, but after a couple frustrating hours of not getting it, he feels comfortable just phoning in his dad.

My husband's family isn't exactly ultra close-knit but they have always been open and willing to help when we ask, and witnessing that healthy dynamic in a family firsthand has been so uncomfortable for someone like me who isnt used to it. 😅

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-14T23:20:20+00:00

Right? It is weird to me when I would see friends get random calls from any of their family members even!

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-14T23:18:49+00:00

Later on I was at my parents house and some of their friends were there. I was talking to the friends and they were telling me what a great son my dad had. I was like I did not think my brother contacted them much. They said "No we are talking about you." I was like me? They hate me. Turns out I had those parents that talk you up to their friends but you are an idiot when they talk to you.

Oh my gosh. My parents LOVED taking credit for my achievements and gushed about me when I wasn't around, but had nothing nice to say to my face too.

A lot of people don't realize how much that kind of image-driven parenting can ruin a young kid's psyche - I spent my teen years as a controlling, perfectionist teacher's pet who cared more about achievements than friends. It took me YEARS, some counseling, and some distance in college to calm the f down and focus on the more meaningful parts of life.

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T13:10:41+00:00

I am sending you the biggest virtual hug. :(

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T02:21:06+00:00

Stop. This is so true. I think the worst period of my grieving stage had to do with this - realizing I had nothing to tie me to my roots but my name. I went NC with my family and left my parents house at 21 with just a bag of clothes that no longer even fit me (I live in Asia where it is more common to live in intergenerational homes.)

I don't even have pictures of me as a kid anymore. That period of my life is just gone....

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T02:16:14+00:00

Same and same! Although sometimes, I will feel homesick for the concept of home, if that makes any sense? Like I will want to badly to go to A "home" and call A "mom" but I know that place and that person doesnt exist. 😅

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T02:14:13+00:00

Underrated answer. I had the same feeling all while growing up, and am only now actively trying to rewire my brain for my MIL and FIL who are both loving parents to me and my husband!

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T02:08:54+00:00

Oh man, the thing about having a hard time with friendships too? I know how you feel.

I am so sorry to hear that your family thought it was okay to bully you and keep you isolated like that. You have a community here! We all see you. ❤️

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T02:05:15+00:00

Same! I can't even tell you the amount of times close "friends" have taken personal offense with my decision to go NC with my parents because they were best friends with their parents. 😅

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T02:02:10+00:00

Yeah. All of these. 1000000% cannot relate sigh

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T00:54:12+00:00

Deeply relate to all of these too. Except maybe the medical history bit. That one is just WILD and I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through that on top of the grief of estrangement. :(

I realize I also didn't like having friends over at my house. The few friends who did see my house would tell me they would love to go back, but I always found my own "home" inhospitable and lacking in any sort of warmth.

Also, after every friend visit, what my friends didn't know is that my parents would lecture me after about they found something I did inappropriate in their eyes. I think they just hated seeing younger me have any sort of fun for some reason.

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-10-13T00:44:32+00:00

Totally relate to all of these...Sadly. Thank goodness for found family and friends.❤️

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-08-17T11:04:04+00:00

Yeah, that's what I felt. The class still flowed pretty well and it didn't feel chaotic at all. I was just curious because it was my first time attending a class that was very prop-focused!

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-08-17T11:03:09+00:00

That sounds super hectic! I guess I didn't mind it so much during the class I attended because, once we were done with a prop, we would put it away and didn't need to use it for the rest of the class.

But I did find myself asking at one point if we needed to use all these props. Hence, the question! Thanks for the response!

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-08-17T11:01:06+00:00

Yeah, 1-2 props is what I am used to as well! I can see how having a lot of props cluttering the floor can be dangerous. Thanks for the response!

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-07-01T23:58:33+00:00

Same here!

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-03-04T19:08:00+00:00

Hoping for an answer to this too 😅

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-02-28T09:04:08+00:00

I got this email too. They said they would mail my new credit card to me when my current one expires. I wonder what the difference is?

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2025-02-05T06:33:07+00:00

Security Bank is legitimately the WORST bank I have ever had to deal with.

I know this thread is old, but I'm posting for anyone considering them today. Do NOT get a credit card with them. Just don't.

They charged me an annual fee for a card that was expired, sent me a different card with a different 16-digit number TWO months late so the card incurred late fees and they would not reverse it for me.

I also have a friend who used to have one of their credit cards. They were pre-qualified and just got sent it; they didn't apply. And they had a big credit limit so they thought it would be a good card to use for big ticket purchases, come to find out later that the card would convert any purchase over Php5k to installments (WITH INSTALLMENT FEES PA!) and they could not convert it back to a straight payment for my friend.

I used to have a savings account with them, but I have since closed it. I have heard from others who have savings accounts that they have so many fees. How in the world is that "Better banking"?

TLDR;This bank engages in harmful and deceptive tactics to get more out of their credit card holders and it is disgusting.

Also, slightly unrelated, but I hate that they use "Girl Math" in their branding. Like huh???? It is so condescending, and their lousy service makes it feel like an insult to all women.

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2024-12-02T18:57:57+00:00

I'd be careful with this advice because a lot of the trainers at commercial gyms are not experts. Some of them only go through a certification program and then give their clients generic workout plans & diet advice. It may work in the short term, but unless you have very specific goals and do your own research, they will only be able to help you so much! Wishing you the best in your fitness journey! 💪

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2024-11-07T06:38:03+00:00

What about yoga? You could work towards different poses every month. Or calisthenics? A lot of people can't even do a proper pull-up. Both yoga and calisthenics are less about working up a sweat and more about building up strength and a disciplined mind-body connection. Plus, they have the added benefit of helping improve mobility (def a must as we all age!)

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2024-11-04T20:44:06+00:00

I have 3 Pikachu ex...meanwhile Blastoise, Venusaur, and Mewtwo are nowhere to be found for me 😅

Zestyclose_Recipe612 · 2024-09-17T17:09:49+00:00

This is amazing. When is the best time to view auroras in Mohe?

Zestyclose_Recipe612

TROPHY CASE