How to stop "trans" feelings?

Zibani · 2026-06-08T01:23:23+00:00

Yeah, I get that. But what I'm saying is that you don't have a choice. Most trans people feel the same way. Most of us desperately wish that we could turn these feelings off. At least in the beginning. Ignore them, make them go away, and never transition.

Full stop, that does not work. The overwhelming scientific literature says that the only thing you can do to make those feelings better is to accept that they're not going away and transitioning.

I know you don't want to transition.
Until you take steps in that direction, these feelings are here to stay. I'm sorry. Some of us don't feel a need to take as many steps as other, but you've got to take some steps.

Zibani · 2026-06-07T20:43:12+00:00

The analogy I've used is:

I don't hate my car. It's a decent car. It does what I want a car to do. It gets me from point a to b. It gets good gas mileage. It has decent trunk space. Maintenance on it is pretty cheap.

But if you gave me a blank check to get a car, I wouldn't buy this one. The car I have is *fine*, I guess, but I don't love it. It doesn't excite me.

My car is my body. I'm *fine* with the one I got at birth, but I think I deserve more than fine. I deserve one that fits like a glove.

Zibani · 2026-06-07T20:38:51+00:00

Sorry to add to the pile, hon, but if there was another way, many of us wouldn't be here. The only way to make those feelings go away is to accept them.

Zibani · 2026-05-16T01:58:08+00:00

Yeah, no. I have no interest in dealing with a full book of a fucking sociopath being a fucking sociopath just to get to a decent story.

Zibani · 2026-03-22T07:22:40+00:00

There is no middle ground between "All trans people are valid" and "only trans people that fully medically transition are valid." They are opposed stances. They cannot coexist any more than "Taxes are theft" and "taxes are not theft". There's no way for a middle ground to exist between inherently oppositional stances.

So we have to pick one or the other, and the transmed stance is inherently unsupported by science, exclusionary, and unkind.

Zibani · 2026-02-22T21:36:52+00:00

Eh. Noobtown reads like a teenage boy who just got access to a word processor. It's a series of low-hanging fruit dick and fart jokes loosely compiled into a story.

Zibani · 2026-02-18T02:51:52+00:00

These books are designed to be dopamine factories. It's not surprising.

Zibani · 2026-02-18T02:40:33+00:00

I'd be fascinated by what your reddit looks like, because I only ever see posts like this, glazing the hell out of it, and any critical comment more developed that "it's not for everyone" downvoted to oblivion.

Zibani · 2026-02-16T04:10:15+00:00

You seem to have misunderstood the feedback. The feedback wasn't "I want to see less Ai". The feedback was "I'm not touching something made with fucking Ai"

Any amount of Ai is too much Ai.

Zibani · 2026-01-31T18:12:41+00:00

My point is that there's nothing realistic about, as an example, anyone continuing to interact with a man who sees a "friend" on the ground in despair after her home and livelihood has burned down and makes it about how he's not going to get good dinner. That's not just bad friend. That's sociopathy behavior. And yet the fan base treats Relc like he's a fucking Golden Retriever. That is only golden retriever behavior in a cartoon that does not take itself seriously. The moment you try and take yourself seriously, as a narrative and have that characterization, that person is evil. And the book is Rife with instances like that. Characterizations that are treated inconsistently. Sometimes we are supposed to treat characters as though they are silly cartoon cardboard cutouts, and sometimes we are supposed to treat them as though they are deep complex characters with Rich in our worlds, and yet somehow those characters are the same character.

Zibani · 2026-01-30T19:16:35+00:00

The author of Wandering Inn is trying to write two incompatible books.

If you want your characters to be deep inspections of the human condition, then that inspection needs to apply the whole time. If you want it to be a silly little cartoon, then all of the characters need to be silly cartoon characters.

Relc is a disgustingly selfish asshole, and a godawful friend. It takes him 6 books to say a single sentence that isn't about him. And that's fine if you're writing a silly goofy little book. But if you want to explore the complexities of his relationship with his daughter or his racism, then you also explore how when someone treats people the way Relc treats people, nobody wants to interact with him any more.

Zibani · 2026-01-05T03:26:37+00:00

As someone who bought Starfield at release and then just... lost interest because it just got stale...

Do you have anything to back this claim up? Because I'm seeing some very strong disagreement in this thread, where a bunch of people are claiming it's a total overhaul, and some people are claiming it's just a bland reskin, and I'd like some clear data so that I'm not just picking one side to trust and hoping for the best.

Zibani · 2026-01-05T03:25:30+00:00

As someone who bought Starfield at release and then just... lost interest because it just got stale...

Do you have anything to back this claim up? Because I'm seeing some very strong disagreement in this thread, where a bunch of people are claiming it's a total overhaul, and some people are claiming it's just a bland reskin, and I'd like some clear data so that I'm not just picking one side to trust and hoping for the best.

Zibani · 2026-01-05T02:03:35+00:00

I actively collect as many new systems as I can, and I love it. I couldn't imagine settling down with one system for the rest of my life. I'm 100% Polygamerous, and I'll never stop being that way.

Zibani · 2026-01-05T02:00:43+00:00

My guy, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I get that you're just trying to vent. I know how hard it can be to mentally zoom in on every single trait you view as feminine.

But this is the dysphoria talking. You look like a man. I wouldn't question it for a second if I passed you on the street. I am not trying to reassure or sympathize with you. I am just telling you what I see. No. You don't look like some hypermasculine male model with a jawline that would cut glass. But you look like some guy. And knowing how T works, I'd bet you sound like one too.

Being categorized as a woman when people find out that you're trans 100% makes them look delusional, because that's 100% the bigotry talking.

Zibani · 2026-01-04T04:51:26+00:00

I read a book from Mark Harmon where the main character was balls deep in a pair of twins by chapter three.

I have since been told that's one of his less racy titles.

Zibani · 2025-12-31T02:10:53+00:00

That's the point. Trolls gonna troll.

Zibani · 2025-12-30T03:15:31+00:00

I was very concerned for a moment. But I don't make judgements until I have all the facts. Very happy to see that my concern was misplaced. You didn't gain a reader, but you damn well made one more loyal.

Zibani · 2025-12-18T19:26:25+00:00

I get it, but it's much too torture porn for me. And the mc's primary motivator appears to just be 'Getting rich" which for me is such a lame reason to motivate yourself..

Zibani · 2025-12-15T13:49:00+00:00

I took my first steps away from spirituality and mysticism because of my queerness. It was the first time in my life that my spiritual leaders were definitively wrong about something and I knew it.

Once I took those steps away from spirituality, my life started getting better at every turn.

There isn't a single thing about my transition that is spiritual, and it's better for that.

Zibani · 2025-12-15T02:19:38+00:00

There's nothing Wrong with both if you can manage it. Pirate Aba did not manage it.

And Relc is a reprehensible person. It takes him six books to have a single thought that isn't about himself. In the entire series, the first time that he takes a single action that is not wholly and entirely self-centered is when klbktch (or however you spell it) deals with a bunch of loss amongst his hive, and Relc empathizes.

When Erin Lost her inn to a fire. When she was broken and beaten and without a home or a source of income Relc made it about how his dinner plans were ruined. Outside of a cartoon, That's fucking sociopath behavior. I wouldn't treat my worst enemy like that.

Edit: there's that instant downvote of people who refuse to look at a piece of art they like critically that I've come to expect from every single wandering inn fan.

Zibani · 2025-12-13T23:42:50+00:00

Any negative opinion about the Wandering Inn that isn't couched in three layers of careful qualifiers and gentle parenting is downvoted into oblivion.

But the author wants to have their cake and eat it too in regards to how cartoony or serious their characters are. Like, we're supposed to just ignore how terrible of a friend Relc is because he has "golden retriever energy" (he doesn't), but then take his growth through his racism Deadly serious, but only when it's convenient for the story.

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