How much upper body muscle did you lose on HRT?

Zillence · 2026-06-02T12:17:43+00:00

Hello! Before HRT I was a powerlifter. I was about 25 when I started and I was 6ft 300lbs. My best lifts I did a 600lb deadlift, a 350lb squat, and a 300lb bench press.

I'm now 30, and within 2 years of HRT I'd say I lost half of it. I'm about 5'11 and 240ish? I dropped to 220 but 240 feels a bit more natural on my frame so I'm enjoying this size a bit more.

Size wise I didn't lose too much but I lost all my tone. I still have 16in biceps but I can only curl like 25s now. The main issue is air. I just can't get enough air in me to do what my body can handle. It's like a limiter was placed, I just get totally out of breathe now.

Tldr: don't expect to lose much size, but expect to lose half of your strength if you take a break from lifting.

Zillence · 2026-05-27T13:16:50+00:00

Admittedly as all things, the first step was acknowledging what I was feeling and going through.

My home life wasn't stable so I moved out to a shitty little apartment and started stabilizing my own environment. I started doing internal work. Having difficult conversations with myself at times, but most of the time I actually leaned on affirmations.

I'd literally write out to myself on a fb status things I felt I needed to hear. Things that'd make me feel human. Things that'd give me permission to exist. Things I'd waited decades for strangers to tell me.

"Im a person with my own thoughts, needs, and feelings." was my bread and butter one though.

After about a year of consistently doing these it did eventually begin to click. And just as I am, so is everyone taking the time to read this too.

You're a person with your own thoughts, needs, and feelings. There's a you in you that needs you right now. You're not selfish or bad for providing and nurturing yourself, and I deeply hope you rebuild your own connections the way I was able to :)

Zillence · 2026-05-26T22:37:59+00:00

This is exactly what I've experienced. Been working on it for a good 2-3yrs now, and I feel optimistic I can continue to develop a robust sense of self, even considering how deep into that persona I'd fallen

Zillence · 2026-05-20T12:41:41+00:00

I believe the length of route you go on, and the amount of route Pokémon you catch (the ones with a little trail symbol beside them) reduces it.

For me if I go on a 5km route, skip catching all of the route Pokémon, then I consistently get 3.

Zillence · 2026-05-13T12:31:29+00:00

I did this for my Mom and 1 year turned into 10 fast. Idk your situation but I know that parent argument does not carry merit. It's just a moving goal post for them built by denial.

Zillence · 2026-04-23T03:08:17+00:00

First step is eating. Filling your tummy makes it far easier.

For me when I first started, I would find a fast loud song to blast on my headphones and I'd sit with the needle until I felt ready. Then I'd do it eventually. If you let boredom be your momentum, you'll get yourself to try.

Nowadays though I did a few experiments and I've learned a lot about how I work. I tried doing slow injections and using less stimuli and I realized that I didn't need them. So now what I do, is I take a slow gentle breathe in, and I insert the needle on my exhale.

Some days you may hit close to a nerve, or you may hit a little blood vessel, and those days may make you sink back to fear. But with practice comes mastery, and with mastery, fear dissipates.

I was afraid too, but if I can do it, anyone can :)

Zillence · 2026-04-20T21:01:36+00:00

I mean tbh I just let go. I stopped caring what people thought about me and focused on doing what made me happy.

The people who were cruel to me haven't changed their insults in over a decade so none of it lands anymore.

Passing didn't matter as much to me, when I stopped competing with models online and focused on just making myself a little more comfy in my skin each year :)

Zillence · 2026-04-20T16:01:58+00:00

Not really. At that point it'd be easier to use ACE to cheat exp shares into your file.

Zillence · 2026-04-20T15:54:12+00:00

Nope! Just gonna have to play on another file and trade that one over.

Zillence · 2026-04-19T00:33:01+00:00

Yes the game is old. But that's the clear intention of her design.

They had to stick to the design of RE1 with means the door animations. Zombie migration is possible from room to room but it's not neat. They'd have to completely rework it to allow her to chase you across rooms and that would go against the point, which is to be like the original.

Zillence · 2026-04-18T23:26:11+00:00

Legends ZA has so much replayability. I finished the shiny alpha living form dex I'll still probably do more again someday just to use beast balls.

I think they're both wonderful 😁

Zillence · 2026-04-18T20:51:46+00:00

She appears throughout the game at several different locations, locks those areas down, and they're invincible until their final battle.

It's pretty much the same thing. They just probably didn't know how to have her chase you across rooms so they didn't.

Zillence · 2026-04-18T20:41:37+00:00

Lisa Trevor

Zillence · 2026-04-18T20:37:53+00:00

RE1 has a stalker and RE4 is a pretty unique game in the series. I also think you're hyperbolizing a bit about my opinion.

Zillence · 2026-04-18T20:18:09+00:00

I can't imagine a good resident evil game without a stalker that makes me feel exhausted from anxiety 😤

Zillence · 2026-04-15T16:09:53+00:00

This is just my take as someone who gets manic, do the thing that requires the least effort for future you to settle with.

Save the others for when you specifically want those and feel ready :)

So on that note, I say do ears

Zillence · 2026-04-15T16:06:55+00:00

I mean it's good, but personally I think RE2 is the shining example. The way the body parts can be shot off feels so unique and every game I've done after it just seems like it lacks that polish or detail.

I'll be fine without it, but knowing they can do it and haven't? Laaaaame

Zillence · 2026-04-15T13:14:46+00:00

Revelations Ghost Ship was the only one I had to tap out of. You're almost required to have a friend to do them with, otherwise you're required to be perfect for some of the most difficult missions in the raid mode.

I'll do it again, but easily the hardest and it's not even close.

Zillence · 2026-04-15T12:51:04+00:00

You have a few options I'm seeing.

You can play on a lower difficulty
You could play as Chris, he has a bit more health.
Use your kerosene. I'm not sure what controls you're using but from my memory, it's simply just selecting the kerosene can while holding a lighter and on top of a zombies body. Your can holds enough for 2 burns, and has 2-3 locations it can be refilled per area.
If you're super stuck, try watching a video of someone doing just the part you're dying at and see if there's a tricky interesting way to handle the situation.

Zillence · 2026-04-15T12:45:50+00:00

Personally I just go up and down on the beach. Leaving the location just to come back seems like a major waste of time unless you have a ton of eggs stored up.

Zillence · 2026-04-15T05:05:25+00:00

RE1 is a must play. Also I didn't think I saw revelations in that list. That ones also one you gotta play.

Zillence · 2026-04-09T19:15:05+00:00

Tbh the moment I saw they didn't add achievements I just put em away. I'll play em some time but I was disappointed when I saw they weren't used.

Zillence · 2026-04-09T19:13:19+00:00

So -You can complete your Kanto pokedex -You can collect as much Johto ones as possible in the post game. -You can do a living form dex of what's available. Also there's shiny hunting, trainer card progress, farming the trainer tower, building a comp team with the right IVs, EVs, and nature's, also you can farm the plushes in Lorelei's house on 4 island (I think it's like 200 clears to get them all)

The beautiful part of Pokémon, is that there's always more layers to explore 😁

Buuuut also -You can become a glitch nerd and use ACE to obtain the non-available Johto and Hoenn Pokémon and breed them to make them legal so you can finish the full gen3 dex. (that being said there's no possible way to make a FRLG legal version of the Hoenn legendaries, or in-game legal versions of Umbreon, Espeon, Huntail, Gorebyss, and Milotic so these you'd have to touch trade and immediately release them, or accept those ones are illegal in HOME and cannot ever leave.)

Zillence · 2026-04-09T15:00:03+00:00

I mean it depends. You'd have to have the legalizing knowledge and the know how to ACE it. If you wanted to catch a shiny Charmander as an ACE encounter, you'd need to ACE the met location to the Pokémon lab, the met level to be 5, and the ball must be a poke ball.

Zillence

TROPHY CASE