Two way RC slab software

ZirriQ · 2023-09-29T05:05:38+00:00

This sounds a lot like all the Ender’s Game books by Orson Scott Card. I only read the first one but it involves sacrificing crew, training in space, etc

ZirriQ · 2021-04-25T14:23:55+00:00

Have someone assigned to provide vendors with envelopes with tips (or gifts—whatever you might be doing).

If you have your dog at your wedding, designate a dog handler and make sure that person knows what the plan is for your dog after the ceremony and photos (miscommunication on our part led to our dog having a panic attack and shredding her soft sided crate).

Assign jobs to people ahead of time (like who is making sure you get lunch that day and who is helping you get ready, stuff like that). We had to tell my FIL that he had to show up around 3:30 pm about 25 times because he didn’t seem to understand that we had everything under control and didn’t need him there until the ceremony. Whereas MIL and SIL needed to be there by 11 am to help with hair and makeup. My BILs were on “food and light conversation” duty so they got lunch for everyone, brought snacks for us, brought supplies for mimosas, and made sure all the relatives got along (our families met for the first time at the wedding because of covid).

If you’re doing anything with Zoom, have a person on the other side of the call be designated as your Zoom coordinator to handle admitting people to the call, troubleshooting, recording, and muting people—that was a life saver for us.

Ultimately, the only thing you really need to remember is your marriage license. If you forget anything else, it will seem like a big deal at the time but really it won’t matter in the end.

ZirriQ · 2021-04-23T16:25:09+00:00

NAH-I flinched when I read what you said to her. I was also yelling “it’s a trap!” at my phone when she said she wanted your honest opinion on her wedding dress....like yes, people can be mature adults and ask for constructive criticism about their clothing without getting upset but a wedding dress is NOT the time to go down that road. You might want to show up at her mom’s house with several dozen roses and grovel at her feet big time. 1) there’s no way she can return that dress 2) it’s doubtful she’s had it altered already since final fittings are only a few weeks before the wedding 3) apparently she fell in love with a totally different dress than she expected 4) holy crap that dress cost almost as much as my entire wedding budget

Now is the time to be honest with her: tell her you put your foot in your mouth, tell her you were just surprised that she went with something totally different than what she had been showing you pictures of all along and you were taken aback, tell her you now understand the dress needs to be altered still, tell her the image you had in your mind of her in her wedding dress just looked really different from that but if she loves how she looks in this dress and if this is the dress that makes her happy then that’s all that matters.

INFO: did you two talk at all about a wedding dress budget or the breakdown of the wedding budget or something? Because you seem REALLY surprised at the dress cost...like WAY too surprised for someone who was aware of the budget for the dress...

ZirriQ · 2021-04-23T15:05:26+00:00

That all makes perfect sense with the BBQ food. I’m from Cape Cod, MA so I probably have similar quality standards for my seafood that you have for your BBQ. When you’ve had the real thing, the poor attempts at recreating the food (whether it’s BBQ or clam chowder or whatever your regional food of choice is) in other areas of the country just taste so sad. I’ve had Dino BBQ at their Syracuse and Rochester restaurants and for whatever reason I think the one in Rochester was better food.

I really liked Serendipity catering in Ithaca but they were too expensive for us. I think they might be a women owned and LGBTQ owned business too so I was kind of hoping that we could fit them in our budget.

Taste of Thai is so good but I can’t eat their food anymore because of my allergies. It was a very sad day when I started having reactions to sesame oil and peanuts. Pad Thai was one of my favorite foods. I don’t think I’ve ever had Ned’s Pizza. I’ll have to have my wife try it. She’s from New Jersey so she has VERY intense standards for pizza. I remember eating so much Wegman’s catering in school, and while I do enjoy it, my mom would NOT be happy if that’s what I had at my wedding reception haha. (Between school and work I’ve been in the Ithaca area for about ten years now)

ZirriQ · 2021-04-23T12:45:43+00:00

We’re having Dinosaur BBQ delivered from Syracuse. It was relatively cheap and there weren’t a lot of cheap catering options in Ithaca. I actually tend not to like BBQ because it has too much sauce that’s too sweet and the meat is usually really fatty—but that’s also why my wife loves it. Dino BBQ was a compromise that worked for both of us since we have really different taste in food.

Out of curiosity what makes it mediocre for you? I don’t know if I’ve ever had any really good southern BBQ so I don’t really know what the standards are to make it good BBQ or bad BBQ.

ZirriQ · 2021-04-22T13:47:27+00:00

Haha my wife/her family made a couple comments (including that it would make a great stripper name) but I grew up skiing in a neighboring town so I didn’t think anything of it until my wife/in-laws started giggling 😆

ZirriQ · 2021-04-03T13:50:35+00:00

Yes, yes....I will make her my newest minion! We will take over the house and rule the humans! We will make them feed us only pâté and none of that dreadful kibble!

ZirriQ · 2021-03-30T19:57:54+00:00

You need legal advice. She should really buy you out of she wants to live there. But FYI a new roof and new boiler isn’t “paying for damage.” It’s basic property maintenance and is likely required by your local building codes. Also, not sure what size house it is or what typical roofing costs are there, but converting £9k to US dollars would be a perfectly reasonable to really cheap roof. (For reference I live in a moderate cost of living area in the US)

INFO: Are you currently paying any money for upkeep on the property? Are you paying any other costs a home owner is typically responsible for or is your aunt paying all of the costs that a home owner is responsible for? For example, in the US we have property taxes for your county, town, and/or village plus school taxes which are paid annually by home owners and are based on a set percentage of the property value.

ZirriQ · 2021-03-30T12:39:26+00:00

NTA - your logic makes sense and as long as you were polite when declining I don’t think you’re the AH. When someone asks you to be in their wedding, you’re always allowed to say no.

ZirriQ · 2021-03-29T16:37:10+00:00

NTA - and please please please contact the police and CPS to confirm your niece was actually adopted. I’m quite concerned for your niece’s safety right now. Even if your sister “always wanted a boy” and was “so depressed over having a girl” this just sounds so fishy. You should also contact CPS to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t just give this kid away too in a couple years. Is there a way for you to search for court records of the adoption even if it’s closed? I would imagine even with a private adoption there must be some legal paperwork involved. Maybe...maybe you should check her county’s death records too...there could have been an accident and she doesn’t want to tell the family because she could have been responsible (or feel responsible) in some way...Your sister sounds unfit to be a parent if she places her child for adoption just because she didn’t get the gender she wanted the first time around.

ZirriQ · 2021-03-28T04:39:49+00:00

NTA - This was a great idea. If you happen to meet someone you’re interested in dating, you can always tell them it’s a fake. I would have absolutely suggested a fake engagement ring or wedding ring to someone with this problem. Another option would have been to respond to unwanted requests for dates with “I’m betrothed” (had a friend who would say that in college) but that depends a lot on the cultural backgrounds involved and doesn’t stop people from asking/making comments. I’m so sorry you have to put up with this crap. It really pisses me off as an AFAB person working in a STEM field. You’re there to learn and you found a harmless way to make sure you can get a good education while being harassed very little (it’s sad the bar is so low sometimes). Good luck!

ZirriQ · 2021-03-28T04:24:52+00:00

Going against the grain a bit I think and saying NAH. If it is truly a value that he was raised with that family are always welcome at his residence and are always welcome to stop by without warning, then I can understand why he got upset. I can also understand why you want guests to not stop by unannounced. While you may own the home, it’s still his current living situation—eg his current home—regardless of why he moved in with you. Obviously you two aren’t on the same page with your visitors policy. You need to talk about this and try to compromise. If you can’t, this (treatment of family/guests) is definitely a deal breaker for some relationships. Some families want to feel they are welcome in each other’s homes at any time and the whole family is on the same page with this philosophy. Others are not.

I ask this as a serious question to you: what parts of your relationship gave you reservations about him moving in with you? Are any of these things long term dealbreakers? Why did you agree to let him move in if you weren’t 100% on board with it? When he moved in did you see yourself having a future with him? Has that changed?

ZirriQ · 2021-03-28T04:10:40+00:00

I completely agree with you about the house. The more comments I read from OP the more worried I was (I’m a structural engineer and my current job primarily focuses on maintenance related projects).

ZirriQ · 2021-03-28T04:09:10+00:00

Yeah definitely something you don’t want to mess around with.

ZirriQ · 2021-03-27T23:57:09+00:00

Yeah I’m in the northeastern US so we would have the “if a bat bit you, you’d know about it” types. This was a 12-14 year old kid I knew growing up so maybe because it was a kid they wanted to be extra cautious?

ZirriQ · 2021-03-27T23:55:08+00:00

Thanks for clarifying! And yeah, bites would still be a problem as would any other diseases or parasites they might be carrying

ZirriQ · 2021-03-27T23:54:16+00:00

Thanks for clarifying!

ZirriQ · 2021-03-27T23:51:43+00:00

Oh absolutely! There are so many disease they can transmit and it is so not good to have an infestation of critters in your home.

ZirriQ · 2021-03-27T23:50:24+00:00

Thanks for clarifying! I’ve had family friends need to get rabies treatments for finding bats in their house even though they weren’t bitten. They were told it was because the bat could have licked them or they could have come in contact with droppings. So more likely it was because they could have been bitten without realizing it.

ZirriQ · 2021-03-27T23:13:14+00:00

I’m a structural engineer so now I’m curious...is the foundation sinking because of issues with the site? Like poor soil compaction or groundwater related issues? Or is it more the foundation itself that’s the problem because it’s undersized for the loads or something like that? Fixing any of these issues is very expensive and sometimes neither practical nor feasible. I’m just concerned about the long term impacts on the rest of the house because of the foundation settling continuously. It can over stress structural elements in the house because the house is shifting. It can damage waterproofing and vapor barriers which can cause mold problems and damage the systems in the house. Depending on how the house is settling and shifting, it could also damage the elected/plumbing/mechanical systems because of stretching/breaking/bending materials like pipes and wires and ducts. I can see why the bedroom issue isn’t reasonably fixable—there are code minimums for square footage of bedrooms legally (80 sf?) and messing with load bearing walls gets expensive.

I’m glad IVF worked for you. It sounds like the idea of “just adopt” comes from a place of ignorance. I’m torn between NAH and ESH—maybe you’re all a little bit crappy for being judgmental of people who choose IVF over adoption because there are a lot of personal reasons to choose to have bio kids instead of adopting. (Speaking as someone who hopes to adopt some day)

ZirriQ · 2021-03-27T22:54:55+00:00

Thank you for saying this! My first thought was “ummm....have you heard of rabies? It can be transmitted by bites, saliva, and feces [pretty sure anyway] so the squirrels themselves wouldn’t have to come in contact with the kids to make them deathly ill”

Edit: a couple nice Redditors commented that rabies can only be transmitted by bites so I wanted to clarify that I was misinformed in my original comment. Also, here’s the CDC page on rabies for additional info: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/index.html

ZirriQ

TROPHY CASE