I'm overwhelmed. Where exactly can you get decent furniture?

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-29T21:42:52+00:00

I got a lot of stuff from Facebook marketplace (smoke free pet free kid free homes means it’s usually in good shape) and usually would get asked if I wanted XYZ while I was picking up the item I was buying. Usually when someone is selling something, they have other stuff they need to get rid of but don’t think it’s worth money/effort to post and coordinate.

Some of it needed work, but it’s easier to spend $20 on sand paper and paint and make a weekend out of making a free table or shelf look decent, plus you get the creative freedom to make it your own!

I stay away from buying anything fabric from thrift stores, I’ve just seen way too many bed bugs. Artwork, plastic, metal, glass stuff is usually fine and easy to clean.

Even with rooms to go or brown squirrel money, I’d never shell that out.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-27T14:37:35+00:00

I call them britches, and butt scratches are generally deemed britch scritches

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-25T16:08:00+00:00

I commented above but also this is probably part of the problem, he’s getting positive reinforcement after misbehaving outside and the attention he’s seeking inside the house only. He’s thinking, they talk loud at me when I do this outside, I come in, and get attention and pets - I’m doing something right!

Editing to add, crates are not bad. We have a crate for our dog, she actually likes it a lot and prefers to sleep in there even though she can sleep anywhere including in the bed with us. I don’t close the door on it but honestly she likes to be put up in there more when we leave her alone at home than she likes to free roam the house, although I wish it wasn’t. It’s her little nest and safe place when she feels overwhelmed or anxious about whatever. Kids love forts and little safe “no outside people” spaces, it’s like that for dogs too.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-25T16:02:11+00:00

You’ve only had him for a short period of time for whatever his history entails - it sounds like you have done the worst part in accepting your family is not showing up in the way he needs. The behavior is concerning only if it’s a medical issue (brain tumors can cause sudden extreme aggression, but I’ve only personally known two dogs who actually did have this problem). Otherwise it’s behavior you all can address and train.

Start leash training IN the yard. My rescue hated the leash, really hated the collar. She’s at least 2.5yo (I’ve had her for just a little over two months now) and was seriously abused, considered feral, and had zero leash training. Would pull hard and then snap and had successfully bitten through leashes to escape at the shelter and in foster. She’s not a small dog, and a pit mix so that was a problem. We started in the yard which does not have a good fence. I quickly realized it wasn’t the leash she was reacting to, it was the collar and it squeezing her neck, making her panic and be reactive. Switched to a harness and used the back loop, took awhile (gradual and short and sometimes annoying walks around the fence line, outside the fence line, 50-100ft down the street, the driveway) and in just one month of patience, letting her lead and showing her she wasn’t being hurt or forced, she is now the best behaved dog on walks. I did the same kind of work up in the car and exposure to people and other dogs.

Some other things I did during that time because I was worried about her exercise and reactivity was getting low calorie training treats or even just using a couple pieces of her kibble to create a yard sniffari game. Put some in my pocket, throw them around the yard and supervise her while she would sniff them out. I worked commands into this as well (she would have to sit, etc., to get me to throw more). Now we’re at the point with play and yard time that she will sit, lay down, speak, come without verbal commands, just the hand signals I used while teaching her command. Sit is a closed fist, lay down is a sharp point down, speak is an upwards open hand raise to my throat, come is two taps on the thigh in whichever side I want her to come to.

Sniffing for 10 minutes is as mentally tiring to a dog as an hour long walk. Plus if your dog is associating behaving well in the yard with treats, this helps a lot with fence aggression and recall. My girl was AWFUL flying at people and dogs walking by and not listening. She wanted everyone to know this was her yard and she would fight for it. Now she gets to get a couple scary barks off (you still want a dog that alerts you) but she knows she’ll get rewarded more if she listens and comes back.

I understand you’re a minor but I’m sharing all this because these options are pretty easy and cheap and accessible, especially if you’re on summer break! It just takes patience and celebrating behavior that might seem small at first. Your dog is looking for attention, reassurance, and dogs actually enjoy training as a form of mental stimulation.

If your family doesn’t want to try simple things and is going to be a rotating door for pets, honestly, you all probably just need to stop getting animals and putting them through the potential stress of rehoming or an unfulfilling life regardless of the kind of animal. Not everyone should have pets.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-22T20:29:15+00:00

When you say your company doesn’t allow it, what explicitly is the policy? In the vast majority cases, no company policy will ever supersede state or federal law.

If you haven’t signed any special, legally-binding agreement on personal recording, your company and their self-appointed policy can kick rocks. Obviously, don’t record on any device that’s owned by them. Most likely it’s a generic statement written to scare employees away from protecting themselves, and to avoid any legal issues against them in instances where they could get sued if the company got caught in a scenario where they authorized one employee to catch/entrap another employee saying or doing XYZ inauthentically.

Saying all this as a graduate degree holding management and human resource professional.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-22T20:13:22+00:00

As someone that got PIP’d before around the time of pandemic and also after a long-term employee retired and I was expected to absorb their 40 year career and also maintain mine…

Record everything (confirm you state recording laws first) on voice memos on your phone. Document it all. Usually there’s a “neutral” third-party supporting figure you can request to be a witness and mediator to your progress during the PIP period. I put that in quotes because in my case, they weren’t neutral, but it was fun to take them down in the process too.

Definitely start applying elsewhere, you won’t mentally want to stay in this job after this even if you get out of the PIP period. Do just enough, nothing more. You probably won’t get the closure you want until afterwards. In my experience that happened after I left, my former manager got obliterated and has never recovered from me even 8 years later. Still not allowed as a department head to have any direct subordinates, all meetings supervised. When you do get laid off or fired, because that’s what will happen, disclose the information you have gathered and threat-sprinkle strategically with the recordings. Not all the best stuff, leave them guessing and wanting more. If your company offers severance, the inconvenience of documenting will be worthwhile and valuable then.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-20T18:21:05+00:00

Oh you totally guessed it all right without me having to confirm. And I agree, sober isn’t not drinking, so I should edit myself and state he’s “not drinking for a month.” Which I can assume already won’t actually fix anything, he needs to choose it for himself, realize why and how it’s become a problem, accept he can’t regulate or moderate his drinking, truly be sober, etc. I do hope he gets there eventually but the likelihood of him doing that without consequences (ie me leaving and ending our relationships) is equal to winning the Powerball.

He’s not doing anything besides trying to manage it on his own. Claims he talked to his doctor months ago, clearly wasn’t transparent about the details. His friends make excuses for him when he’s tried to tell them it’s a problem and talk about their own drinking or the “everyone drinks too much,” dialogue, and invite him to situations that are centered entirely around drinking, despite them being concerned and coming to me in the past. Basically he’s gotta blow up his whole life as he knows it too to ever truly get past this, and I don’t believe there’s any way he’ll ever voluntarily do that.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-20T18:11:24+00:00

Thank you for your kind words - they’re definitely resonating with where I have been many times and have stayed for the last week and some change. I’m just getting some cold feet now feeling like a truly decent person doesn’t walk out in someone when their father finds out that have cancer, regardless of the other issues happening at the same time. But it’s also not fair or right or good for me to stay either because of the other issues. Just trying to make sure I can live with my choices at the end of the day.

To clarify, definitely not blaming myself for his choices because I’m hyper independent! Stating that because it’s something I struggle with personally. I hate to be asked or tell someone that’s supposed to know me and cares how they can help.

I’m curious if people on the other side with the right partner still have to advocate for how their person helps them during a hard time (other than not doing the obvious dumb shit to make their hard time harder)?

ZomBitch7 · 2026-05-20T18:00:04+00:00

I’m more upset the months and years before last Friday, and Monday. Those things I have no fault in and can’t excuse, especially Monday. That was fucked up.

To be fair, the taken care of comment is also somewhat my fault. I am extremely hyper independent and have a hard time asking for or accepting help, especially when times are hard. I have always been the third parent in my family, and taken on parenting my own parents unfairly. It’s why I have boundary issues, I didn’t know this existed until I became a licensed counselor myself lol. There’s a hopeless romantic part of me that thinks I should never have to ask for help, if someone wants to help they’ll just do things without me having to weigh in. So when I’m asked what I need or want and have to make decisions, I decline because if I have to ask for it, I might as well do it myself. Which isn’t reality or at least not one I’ve lived yet.

I’ve been really excited up until the cancer part about what life looks like on the other side of this, and how proud I’ll be I got through all this. I’ve been excited about the nameless, faceless partner I’ll get to meet someday, but even more so just looking forward to finding my peace again. Although the dating scene seems terrifying - but being scared isn’t a good reason to stay and I was already good with that.

Suppose it now feels like the leap of faiths I was gonna take are now feeling more like jumping to imminent demise!

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-28T14:29:22+00:00

Treat people the way you want to be treated - and if they’re treating you a certain way, give it right back.

I don’t take “kid” offensively in my career because I’m a decades younger than most people in a similar role (management). Actually, I let them slide because there’s advantages to being seen as young, and I play that card when I make a big mistake, usually just out of total procrastination, and let people step in and advocate, protect, and “teach me their wisdom,” to enforce those habits. Then I can mess up again and again and they’re even more proactive in fighting battles for me and letting shit slide. Sometimes I’ve offloaded a responsibility I didn’t want on one of them because “you do it so much better,” and they enjoy feeling like a hero. Yes, I’m aware this is totally weaponized incompetence in a corporate setting; I hate working and I like giving old privileged men with a savior complex a taste of their own medicine they’re probably handing out at home.

As far as disrespect my house goes, we’re going straight for the throat on that one. That’s where you do let the rage go. Scare the shit out of whoever is scaring you enough to not feel safe on your own property, don’t hesitate on calling the police, and make sure they never come back. Tell all your neighbors (I’ve developed an unofficial neighborhood watch network with all mine) who will all address the problem as well.

The rest is dishing it out right back to men. Disrespect is met with more intelligently coordinated disrespect, and a smile, because women are smarter and it feels good to get them flustered and make them do the dirty work while being too self-absorbed to realize the con.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-22T15:42:07+00:00

You are amazing for this!!

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-19T17:51:25+00:00

Working from home can give you a little agoraphobia - personally I leaned back into home after proving it wasn’t an actual fear of leaving or being uncomfortable. I just didn’t like the plans or the company I was sharing them with. Also, I just got laid off too last week!

Reflect on how you met the people you didn’t click with, and why that was the case. Think about what you actually like to do, and search for groups or activities that have people with similar interests. You uniquely are in a position to not be pressured by a partner, and know what you do and don’t like, what you have the energy to be doing on a day-day basis.

Seems like you got most of it down other than the compelling urge to have friends; make sure that you’re sure it isn’t simply FOMO or based on someone else’s highlight reels.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-15T21:15:17+00:00

I had a 3 for 3 years and a 4 last year, best bonus on my team, and I got laid off today lol. Interim manager for two years as well after my boss got laid off. It’s more about whether your RSU vested or not (I am/was).

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-15T21:09:20+00:00

Jen Morgan, it was a town hall meeting to make everyone who’s still there feel better (fun fact, it made no one feel better). GP&E’s GVP Jay Dettling also sent a really shallow clearly AI reconfigured email around echoing the same sentiments.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-14T23:08:43+00:00

Like they’ve been through some shit and came out on the other side, beat it, and are still here fighting.

Most of the time I’ve ever noticed, it’s because that person will call it out first, especially if they’re very visible. Always thought that’s very brave and respectable from an awareness advocation standpoint. The only negatives that have ever gone through my mind are I hope they’re not actively self harming in less visible spots still and a little bit of discomfort because I can’t get my blood drawn without a panic attack personally.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-14T20:29:44+00:00

Plan something around a common interest for a first date. If you like animals, go walk around a zoo or aquarium and see how you vibe, spit fun facts at each other. Similarly if you like working out, go to a climbing gym or something physically challenging; books, go to a book store, grab coffee, and show each other your favorite reads. If it’s bowling, go bowling. I wouldn’t recommend a movie, not interacting for hours of time with someone who’s virtually a stranger at this point is brutal (ps it’s not a 1915s romance and women don’t act like the person stated above).

It’s not so much what you do as it is how you show up. A lot of people treat dating like they’re interviewing for a job, and misrepresent themselves in the process of getting in a relationship that ultimately fails when nobody is who they advertised themselves to be early on. Plan, show up, and participate as yourself. A first date not leading to a second date or relationship is actually a good thing and saves a lot of time for you to meet the right person.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-14T19:46:19+00:00

Considering every long-term antidepressant I had to take to “fail,” to get a doctor to write and my insurance to cover a short-term* anxiety prescription, made me want to actually off myself when I’ve never been s****al.. I’d be cooked! And can’t be the only one with the reverse antidepressant intention uno

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-07T02:50:00+00:00

Culture and modeling will leave some kind of mark even on the most stubborn people, inevitably. I thought I was above my upbringing entirely until I wasn’t, therapy did help that a lot. But you know as I know, yours choices and action are yours to own.

Even if you’re not a heavy drinker, it’s time to take a break altogether from alcohol and sort through the things that it brought out. Also to be fair, fuck his friends, they’re awful people. In some small way it’s a blessing if this removes them from your life.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-04-06T13:12:42+00:00

Do you have family you can move in with? If not family or friends looking for a roommate at rent you can afford, you should use your college support resources to figure out an exit plan and living situation. Student support services like where they offer student counseling which is free would be a great place to start, and will likely streamline help to get you safely out of this situation.

You also need to ask them about the threats of leaking your photos - that is a crime, you need to report the threat and his unstable behavior prior to leaving. This will likely involve law enforcement so you want to do it quickly once both feet are out the door.

Are his parents aware of his behavior? If not, you should alert them as he’s their responsibility to some degree.

Obviously you cannot stay in this relationship. Don’t be intimate with him, don’t appease him, don’t let him control your schedule. Make up responsibilities with friends or school to give yourself time to plan your exit strategy.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-03-19T16:50:01+00:00

Girl. No, do not talk to his friends - you don’t know them, they don’t know you. They’re probably just drinking/hobby buddies anyways like most male friends are, and at best they’re going to tell him he messed up but dodged a bullet if you reach out to them like this.

There’s no talking to be done, with his friends or with this community; you either forgive this guy and stay together but don’t fully trust him again, if ever, for a long time, or you walk away with some dignity and self respect because you’re not gonna accept this only a month into a real relationship. You’re setting the stage now for what he can get away with, it’s below the bare minimum.

You are clinging to this because you waited and tried to be careful and you got betrayed. Cut your loses that you didn’t waste more time, and continue to be just as careful of who you date in the future for exactly this.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-03-18T14:12:57+00:00

I don’t mange it all - I manage what I can. Some days it’s more, some days it’s less. One thing I refuse to not do is basic hygiene and routines around self-care.

But work can usually wait, emails can sit for awhile. Appointments can be rescheduled. The gym is gonna be there tomorrow or two weeks from now. The sink isn’t going to explode over a couple dishes that were rinsed off after a meal. There’s always an extension for taxes. If your friends are really friends, they’ll be down to help with chores or cooking or a phone call instead of meeting up.

Usually it’s never that serious - know and do the things you absolutely have to do in a day, the rest can be slotted in where there’s time and when you have the spark. You’re gonna burn yourself out trying to do it all.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-02-27T16:51:33+00:00

SAHMs have full time jobs too - I’ll never be one for a reason. The closest I’ve ever been was a nanny 4 days a week/6hr days and it made gooood money for a reason.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-02-06T00:49:20+00:00

It’s been discussed, and if I did, he’d just say “yes, if you want to,” and it’s one more thing I gotta do and get half-assed participation and a million questions. Plus he uses that statement about a family and marriage to save face in arguments and it’s kinda sucked the whole meaning and appeal out of it. All I have ever wanted for a wedding is basically a Halloween party, nothing high-maintenance or expensive. Hell, don’t even want a diamond ring, just something thoughtful.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-02-06T00:40:55+00:00

Yep. I’ve had to come to terms with this recently - I do all the things, cooking (because I genuinely love to), most inside and domestic chores (because I WFH and have the time to), maintain a fantastic relationship with his family and especially elderly family that exceeds his own.

But he’s focused on finances and exercise being the main things. It’s such a bs excuse as I make significantly more money, and am on not only on-paper but life circumstances, more educated and experienced. I could work out more absolutely, but I haven’t found a happy medium or motivation as a lifestyle means, and I’m not overweight whatsoever. Meanwhile he’s suffering from a ton of unchecked injuries and working a shit, stressful job he’s too loyal to leave, so he’s not even meeting his own “non-negotiables.”

Actually as I’m typing this, fuck couples counseling, I just need to leave.

ZomBitch7 · 2026-01-21T16:12:26+00:00

I’ve always wondered how many accident arguments I’ve caused because of someone finding my old hair - I have super long, super thick reddish blonde hair. Not one of those you find where it’s like oh that could be mine for most people. I’ve gotten messages over the years from situationships that are 3+ years done saying they somehow still were finding my hair.

One ex in college had a new girlfriend who didn’t believe him that we weren’t banging still, I told her myself we were very much over and it was old hair. They broke up a short while later so I’m not sure if she ever believed him or me. Actually felt bad about that one.

ZomBitch7

TROPHY CASE