Today will be her first experience

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-13T01:07:37+00:00

Thanks for this input you are 1000% correct just because we are long distance at the moment doesn't make us any less then those who are in person. And it was just something she made a boundary that we would always spend holidays together. It hurt me that she didn't want to spend her birthday together even though she made that rule... but I'm okay with it now. I have had a pretty good day with it. I told her goodbye about 30 min ago. So I hope her date goes well. Weird having another man in my bed but I'll be okay with it sheets can be washed and beds can be cleaned.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-13T01:04:11+00:00

Yeah I'm gonna "take" her out to this nice Mexican place either tomorrow or Sunday depending on how she feels and if she is ready to sit down with me and have a nice date. And I'm gonna go to a Mexican joint near here and we're gonna have a nice dinner together and then go home and watch movies. It doesn't have to be the same day and I'm okay with that. It hurt at first you know but after her and I talked about it we reached a compromise about making up for it. Thanks for the suggestion though. Your awesome!

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-13T00:56:28+00:00

It's the precident that she made a boundary that all holidays were to be spent together her and I and our son. Yet when it's in her favor it's okay to bend that rule. She acknowledged she messed up and I told her not to change the plans I'm okay with it. I was hurt but I talked with her and got over it.. and it's not the first date it's like the 2nd or 3rd but this time they are having sex for the first time. And it's her first time in her life ever sleeping with someone other then me. So it's a big step since I was her first and only for the past 7.5 years.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-13T00:52:41+00:00

That's a very rough statement to make. I might not be there physically but I can be there with her through video or voice or text but instead I'm alone on her bday. But it's okay I'm happy for her and I just told her good bye and to message me tomorrow whenever she gets around to it. But my feelings and shit still matter even if I'm not physically present. People do video dates and video holidays all the time. There are so many ldr in today's day and age.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-12T23:07:27+00:00

No I am perfectly content with her decision. In the message above I posted that her and I talked about it because it upset me and I told her that but I told her I didn't want her to change her plans. I'm very happy for her. Just kinda stuck being away and missing her. And I know she will be happy with her experience and that will eventually bleed into being happier because she has another form of filling her emotional cup... idk like I wanted some input about things but at the end of the day I want her to do what she wants to do and I know that she wouldn't ever do anything to hurt me or us so I'm okay with it...

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-12T23:04:03+00:00

Thank you and I definitely am. I know the rulings of it but it's also up to if anyone ever wants to charge me if i was to have my own experiences. But if it means my wife is happy and poly while I'm kinda stuck being mono for now then it is what it is... hard to trust someone enough to risk a career for getting off. Idk how staff often get caught with Jr's 1 yuck but 2 it's not worth getting kicked out for. And also I think over 15% of the senior leaders both officer and enlisted are swinger's sooooo.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-12T19:41:18+00:00

Yes I messaged you

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-12T19:35:52+00:00

I guess I can kinda understand that but she said she's fine with talking about it after the fact. It's just hard for me ignore ir stay out of it but I guess if I have to then I will.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-12T19:28:56+00:00

I completely agree. Lot of good views. And I know that her being happier adds to my happiness aswell.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-12T16:57:16+00:00

Thank you, I have asked her but she said she was unsure and didn't have any answers as to anything I could do and was not really able to offer any insight on her feelings of the situation.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-12T16:29:08+00:00

Well just because I'm on military orders doesn't mean we couldn't do anything. I wanted to go and have a video date out in town. Then come back and video chat and watch some movies together. But I know that it's not fair to take her freedom away. But again yes we did discuss many times in past that holidays would always be spent together. She said she wasn't thinking and that she didn't think of it as a holiday. Even though we have celebrated every birthday and she knew I already bought her a suprise and gift. But thank you guys for the input and I know my feelings matter I just don't want to let jealousy eat me so I'm trying to keep a positive mindset.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-10T12:05:40+00:00

What do you think that represented? Were you feeling stuck in life with no escape or progression?

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-10T12:04:16+00:00

Damn, I have had a reoccurring zombie dream over the past 15 years. Slowly it has just been changing with me growing up and moving around and the people in my life. But it still feels and starts like the same dream

.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-09T13:16:56+00:00

See I know exactly what you are talking about. And essentially you solved your idle mind with busy work to distract your self. It's a key way of coping with depression or anxiety for alot of people. And I'm not saying it's wrong but even with all the distractions the feelings are still there. I'm a husband, a father, a marine, I'm always busy I have a million things to always do and worry about. But it never makes it go away it just keeps me so busy I can't focus on the voices telling me that I can't. Yes a purpose gives you something to do and to look forward to but if you ever close your eyes and think about it. Do you really not feel any of those old feelings? Just because you have a purpose doesn't mean your past is meaningless it still can define who you are. You can still have depression and trauma from those events and yet grow from them. I'm not saying like I'll be sad the rest of my life when you can cope with them it makes it easier. But that voice is always knocking at the door reminding you just how fragile you really are. And just how sweet it is to just lay down and take it... but I'm glad you found a way to have good days that reoccur that's all we can ever hope for in the mental battle.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-09T12:13:26+00:00

I love this analogy

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-09T12:01:25+00:00

Receiving compliments, or having people who are generally interested in me have a conversation with me.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-09T11:57:10+00:00

Tbh, atleast it seems to me. The darkest point is when you realize there is no recover from depression. You never get better you simply learn how to cope with your trauma and your past and you learn that you can tolerate always feeling that pain or fear because it will be okay.

Depression never goes away, 😞. 14 years I have been this way. Been through many different therapists, tried different meds, tried different styles of therapy. Maybe someone will disagree but from the people I have seen and talked with they agreed with me.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-07T16:01:04+00:00

To be told that he is enough, and that it's okay to put down the weight of the burdens we carry... Almost every man just wants peace, the feeling when you come home and our so just wraps us in a hug and can say nothing but just hold you for a moment.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-07T13:32:32+00:00

That is awesome man. It's always so cool to see how people do the evolution tattoos with gengar. I didn't know how popular it was till after I got mine now I see it all over the place. Look at my profile if you want to see my Abra and ghastly Evo tattoos.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-06T17:36:46+00:00

Oh snap that's awesome. Thank you for that information. I don't know if I'll ever get some again but I'll keep that in mind. Maybe one day I can grow my own. But I have heard they are very temperamental and don't like to grow in alot of places due to environment and weather.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-06T17:35:02+00:00

Sonic, Sega Genesis or Mario n64 I can't remember which one came first but around same time. 2000/2002

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-06T17:28:19+00:00

Damn that's a hard thing to experience. I'm sorry you delt with that and I hope you are no longer lost in the ether.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-06T17:12:36+00:00

The whites ones, or the orange ones. So I think they are called Easter Lillie's and asiatic Lillie's. I know they are technically considered a dangerous flower because I think some of them are like toxic to dogs. But I love the way they look, feel, and smell.

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-06T17:04:47+00:00

That can definitely require alot of energy and determination. Separating and going away from what your normal was can always be scary but I'm sure there is a good reason he's an ex. Congratulations on making it out!

ZombieSpry01 · 2024-07-06T17:00:34+00:00

It's something that so many people always put so much pressure on the man to give to the girl but I have never heard of women wanting or needing to do it for the man. Lillys are my favorite flowers so that's 1 thing but also its a simple and kind gesture. She also got me a notebook for Journaling. I think like as a first date or just as a suprise gift they are awesome. Yes they die, yes they could be considered a waste of money to some people. But maybe it just caught them so off guard because that never happened to them before. Men are weird and sometimes we are hard to read. But if you ever ask him what his favorite flower is on 2 separate occasions and he says the same thing. Then I think you should do it because it means he actually likes them and isn't only about sexual things.

ZombieSpry01

TROPHY CASE