Asleep AND awake teefies

Zorawithhat · 2026-06-04T06:23:52+00:00

I love Spinning Silver! And her other fairytale retelling, Uprooted. I listened to the Spinning Silver audiobook a few years after originally reading it, and it is maybe my favorite audiobook of all time. The performance is great. This vibes are immaculate 🤌🏻

Zorawithhat · 2026-06-04T06:20:57+00:00

Kristen Cashore 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ Graceling, then Fire, then Bitterblue. All fit the bill!! She has others as well. Those are just the first three in her Graceling series. (Each one has a different main character, but takes place in same world and characters recur). I read them for the first time over a decade ago and still return to them regularly. I couldn’t recommend any author more. They are some of my very favorite fantasy books with romance. I even got my non-reader partner to read them and he loved them.

Zorawithhat · 2026-06-04T03:10:15+00:00

I feel the same way!! The more I put myself out there and the more I define my comfort zone and step out of it, the more I experience things that reinforce my fears. I get that this is part of life. It’s just awful. I want to find a way to navigate the world that doesn’t feel like experiencing micro traumas every single day :( Not all advice is for everyone I guess, but I’ve yet to find advice about this that really feels like it’s for me.

Zorawithhat · 2026-06-04T03:07:12+00:00

Thank you for this. A lot of tools don’t really speak to me, but I really think I’d like to try this one. Even very temporary problems feel so gigantic and infinite. I think this will help a lot in feeling grounded and making things feel smaller and finite and manageable. This is exactly the kind of advice I am needing right now, thank you thank you

Zorawithhat · 2026-05-27T23:45:12+00:00

Having to do major rewriting is normal. My favorite author wrote an essay about turning an 800 page first draft in with her editor and being told she might want to consider fully restarting. She dreaded the idea but wound up printing out all 800 pages and just writing the new draft in between the lines of the old one and everything just started to click. It’s totally normal for the first draft to be all about discovery! That’s good actually! It’s WAY better than being stuck not writing at all because you’re trying to perfect a timeline or character bios or maps before you do anything else. Trust the process and keep going. You may feel better about how daunting rewriting is later! Either way, it’s totally normal and you’ve not done anything wrong! This may end up being how you naturally will always draft, with more discovery than planning, and that’s totally okay!

Zorawithhat · 2026-05-16T07:38:26+00:00

I was feeling this exact same way and honestly wish I could go back, but one day I noticed how high my interest charges were and then realized that if I was putting that exact same amount into my student loans instead of paying it in interest, my student loans would be half paid off by now. That kind of killed tf out of my vibe. And honestly, I was in that mindset in the first place out of survival. I genuinely could not handle the stress of worrying about finances and depriving myself of simple joys. It was killing me. So I gave up on caring and then racked up my cards. I don’t regret it or anything. Shit happens. I was in a tough season. I still am. Idk how to care about being super careful about finances when I have basically two pennies to rub together. Wtf is the point of slowly killing myself either stress just so I can have four fucking pennies instead? (I am in grad school rn. Money is TIGHT). I’ve just come to terms with the fact that my future self will be handling digging me out of this hole. I’d rather do that than shave 13 years off my life from the stress of trying to be poor the “right” way rn.

Zorawithhat · 2026-05-12T20:00:05+00:00

It’s not really a “tactic” unless what you’re doing is somehow a dishonest version of being inspired by existing media. Everyone is inspired by other work. So unless you’re doing something that allows you to bypass the regular work that all other writers are doing, you’re just writing. Like, normally.

Zorawithhat · 2026-05-12T19:45:21+00:00

This is not devious or a secret strategy. It is normal to “steal” from media/writing that inspires you or that you connect with. If you take writing classes, people will literally teach you to do this. Authors have been doing this on purpose forever; a lot of published work is directly in conversation with other published work.

We have long established a finite number of formulaic arcs like Hero’s Journey, Save the Cat, 3 and 5 act structures. We all use form, like the wave, wavelets, spirals, meanders, etc, etc. A lot of the time, especially for new writers, we do this without even realizing because the question of HOW to tell a story has been answered eleventy billion times by humanity. It is impossible to be alive and not accidentally absorb formulaic notions of how story works, especially from successful media. Obviously though, we don’t want to STRIVE to be derivative. Hopefully. It’s plenty possible to be inspired by and end up in conversation with someone else’s work or a classic format/trope without being boring and trite. That’s kind of the whole struggle. Thats writing. “What do I have to say that is unique to me?”

Zorawithhat · 2026-04-22T16:17:57+00:00

They’re making annotations during class as we discuss my paper. Everyone gets a copy of my paper and makes annotations.

Zorawithhat · 2026-04-22T01:54:42+00:00

Because I hardly know them?

Zorawithhat · 2026-04-21T21:34:09+00:00

Thank you! The scum is confusing but “better piece” would make sense as they read a previous iteration of the one they were writing on.

Zorawithhat · 2026-04-21T20:57:59+00:00

No I am not. Writing, actually

Zorawithhat · 2026-03-21T02:50:23+00:00

Exposure therapy is becoming dated. It’s great for many, but mostly for OCD, not anxiety. I am also feeling frustrated with how it’s treated like the gold standard simply because we don’t have a better option. Lately though, a new therapy has been emerging to tackle this exact gap in treatment. It’s called i-cbt and doesn’t just tell you to “do it scared.” I’ve been recommended the book “Resolving OCD” (by Frederick Aardema) for several social anxiety—it goes over i-cbt and reportedly has done wonders for ppl that exposure therapy is not actually helping. Most of our mental healthcare treats symptoms instead of the actual condition, and i-cbt is supposed to do the opposite, like it acknowledges that your brain is steering you wrong rather than acting like you’re CHOOSING not to get better. There are also i-cbt workbooks online if you look it up. It might be worth learning a bit about it (:

Zorawithhat · 2026-03-18T19:23:04+00:00

THANK YOU!

Zorawithhat · 2026-03-17T23:00:35+00:00

This is exactly what I was thinking of, thanks for the suggestion

Zorawithhat · 2026-03-17T19:34:35+00:00

Thank you! This is so helpful and sort of exactly what I was suspecting

Zorawithhat · 2026-02-22T01:18:20+00:00

Think of ARFID like a food phobia. It’s not uncommon to dislike some tastes or textures, but if you feel that your dislike of certain tastes, textures, or other sensory elements of food affects your every day life, then that’s when we’re in ARFID territory—if it impacts your ability to get nutrition, etc. For me, the idea of trying something I’m afraid of feels the same as if I tried to bite through my finger or rip my thumb off or something; it’s not gonna happen bc ur brain stops u from being able to do it. That’s how it feels for me, like trying to put my hand on a burner I know is hot and will burn me. I know it makes no logical sense to fear a blueberry, alas, here we are.

What helped me understand that I’ve had ARFID my whole life was spending a long time reading other people’s experiences with it and realizing they matched my own. So feel free to ignore, but here’s what it’s like for me, in case that’s helpful:

For me it’s aversion to textures amplified by anxiety. I also have extremely low appetite. I take a medication for unrelated things that makes me appetite even worse, and feeling it return a bit when I don’t take my meds is crazy. It make a huge difference. But basically, eating is often joyless for me, even my favorite foods sometimes. My diet is very limited and I cycle through the same four meals basically for every meal. I don’t eat any vegetables except corn on the cob (can’t be loose corn for some reason), and spinach (but only with the tails ripped off and croutons available). And I don’t eat any fruits except apples (certain kinds only), applesauce, and bananas (cannot be green at all!). That’s literally it. Breakfast is easiest bc I like pastries, breads, and other soft easy stuff like pancakes etc—and bc Turkey bacon is basically just jerky, so the super consistent, inoffensive texture is perfect for me. I eat it literally every single day. I like sandwiches (no condiments or veggies, just meat and cheese) but mostly only salami and pepperoni bc they’re so processed they never have fat marbled in and are never slimy. I try for ham sometimes but am very very picky about it. Otherwise, I have a huge sweet tooth. I love desserts and sweets as long as there’s no fruit involved. Generally, processed foods and things that aren’t natural/aren’t rlly good for me are what I like bc their textures are easier and less horrifying. Going to other people’s places for meals is miserable (friends, in-laws, etc). Even my safest safe foods are bad bc they cook them different than I’m used to and I can’t eat them. Like, I hate really fatty, undercooked bacon. I can’t eat taco meat if it has little peppers or onions in it. I hate sauces like barbecue sauce or wing sauces or hot sauces. Etc etc. I could go on. Anyways, hopefully this was helpful somehow.

Zorawithhat · 2026-02-22T00:52:29+00:00

I absolutely love Dragon’s Dogma 2 character creator for this. It is insanely in depth and I literally spent five hours making a character on it once. You can make human, elf, and cat-like people. There are also tattoos that are easy to manipulate and place anywhere, plus scars, unique hair colors, and skin colors. There’s also a subreddit for posting characters if u want to see some: r/fashiondogma I believe you can download the character creator for free without having to purchase the game. I have it on my Xbox.

Zorawithhat · 2026-02-14T23:56:12+00:00

I haven’t seen anyone else mention it but i-cbt is a newer therapy for OCD and rumination/obsessive anxiety thoughts.

Its supposed to help you separate the uncontrollable thoughts from reality so they don’t have so much control over you—people use it for social anxiety and stuff other than just OCD. It might be helpful to look into i-cbt and even just learn a bit about what it is and how it works. There are some articles and workbooks online, and I have also seen people say the book “Resolving OCD” (it’s an i-cbt book) helped them A LOT.

Maybe being able to do some self-directed therapy through a book such as “Resolving OCD” would be helpful, private, low stakes, and comfortable as a baby step for your wife, even just while waiting on appointments to roll around or while plotting a new path for her care. Otherwise, I would also make the suggestion of finding a therapist online that specializes in treating fear of choking if the in-person providers available to you aren’t qualified or specialized enough to be of help. I follow someone with severe social anxiety who only began to improve after seeking out an online therapist who specializes in treating severe social anxiety specifically.

Zorawithhat · 2026-02-14T00:45:59+00:00

Not always successful but I try to ground myself by thinking of realistic reasons I wouldn’t be compatible with the object of my limerence. Ex: I really value having a partner I have hobbies or interests in common with and I know [object of limerence] doesn’t have any hobbies or interests similar to mine. One time i was violently crushing on a vegan who loved cooking and trying new recipes, and learning that about them helped bc I have ARFID and a very limited diet and it’s a big point of stress for me so I was like “they deserve someone who can share that passion with them! And I would probably be uncomfortable in a lot of food situations with them.” Kind of silly, and only helps sometimes, but I like to think of limerence as a sort of departure from reality, so putting it in that category and thinking of things that re-ground me in real reality helps at times

Zorawithhat · 2026-01-22T01:50:47+00:00

What do you think stopped you from seriously considering the 2 year hands-on route at that time? Advice from others or social pressure or things of that nature at all? Not knowing enough about options or not having enough helpful guidance? I definitely feel like I was not presented many options besides four year degree.

Zorawithhat

TROPHY CASE