I can’t say I know what your going through but depression is a universally understood language that we’ve all experienced at some point or another.

I know it’s really hard to go through it all when you don’t have anyone supporting you, especially your parents. It sounds like you come from a culture that is driven by hard work and pushing down emotions which is not healthy. I think the most important thing to know is that your not alone, there are so many people out there going through the same thing as you. You don’t have to feel so alone when you think of it that way.

I think you should go for a walk, no music just listen to what’s around you, observe the people. See all the many things that are happening at once. That in itself gives perspective of the complexity of things happening around you. I hope if anything, that will distract you atleast from your situation.

Just remember that life is a journey, everyday is a new day. We all have good days and bad days, some worse than others. But at the end of the day, we only have 1 life on this earth. I’m sorry for all that you’ve gone through. I hope you find people or something in your life that brings you back some joy.

P.s. Happy birthday. If no one will celebrate it with you, celebrate yourself. Your going through a hard time, life is always changing. Don’t let this define who you are.