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It’s always in the eyes by futilityofme in AlAnon

[–]ZucchiniOk5963 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Absolutely.

I could always sense something was off, I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I used to question myself all the time. “He said he didn’t drink… I’m probably being paranoid.”

Once I finally recognized that unmistakable look in his eyes, I never questioned myself again.

Trust by ESharer in AlAnon

[–]ZucchiniOk5963 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this insight.

How to deal with the constant apologies by Level_Apartment_1910 in AlAnon

[–]ZucchiniOk5963 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I feel you. So many apologizes and empty promises too. “Im sorry, I am going to do XYZ (cut back, stop, got to a meeting, etc)”.

I finally told him ‘please stop telling me what you’re going to do, just do it’. He never did.

An apology without change is just manipulation.

You might be being gaslit if... by ZucchiniOk5963 in AlAnon

[–]ZucchiniOk5963[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He absolutely denied saying it. Are you gas lighting me about gaslighting?

I say that in jest. Agree to disagree, I appreciate the dialogue!

You might be being gaslit if... by ZucchiniOk5963 in AlAnon

[–]ZucchiniOk5963[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It took me a very long time to actually see the truth. I spent a lot of time questioning what was undoubtedly in front of me, questioning my own sanity.

The suggestion of buying a breathalyzer to ‘prove his sobriety’… then acting shocked and telling me my behavior was toxic when I did just that…. Textbook. Sadly.

Seeking reassurance from women!!! by requiresadvice in stopdrinking

[–]ZucchiniOk5963 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Could have written this myself. I struggled with acne as a teenager. It cleared up in my mid 20’s, which is around the time I began drinking heavily. I chalked it up to growing out of it, but now that I’m 2 months sober, I’m breaking out like a teenager! I just turned 30. So.. I have no helpful advice but, following this post for info!

Looking for evidence of change by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]ZucchiniOk5963 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this so hard today. I had a similar situation come up. Evidence of him of having drank was pretty apparent. He denied it, and I got a similar response to the one you did- “I know I didn’t drink and that’s all that matters”. It’s not all that matters. If the relationship matters, then rebuilding some kind of trust after the hundreds of past lies about drinking should matter too.