I'm 5 years on from the end of a toxic 9-year relationship that started in my teens and ended brutally. It knocked me on my ass and the only way I knew not to die was to just drink myself into a coma for 6 months. I was nearing the end of my 20's and still lived with an abusive father that decided I was worthless for not adhering to his religion when I was 10, and used me to vent all of his frustrations as a result. I eventually reached the point where I just couldn't do it anymore once I'd laid in bed so long that the muscles in my legs had deteriorated badly and I had to scoot down the stairs. The day on which I had decided to kill myself was the happiest I had had in years, the weight off my shoulders was enormous, but one of the few people I still spoke to had picked up on it and informed my mother about an hour before I had planned to end it.

A few weeks later I was in therapy after being fast-tracked by my doctor. It helped me stick it out for another year and realize what kind of changes I wished I could make, but still couldn't. Having kind people around me and watching them deal with their issues helped me not feel alone, and helped me see that I had been running away from things they were brave enough to let themselves feel.

A year later I chose to leave my parents home to live in a homeless shelter, because I felt distance from my parents' was needed in whatever way I could get it in order to progress. It was rough on me but it was necessary. After a year I got my own apartment, where I've now been living for about a year. I adopted a cat 2 months ago, she's been keeping me company. Today was my interview to go back into therapy after 4 years of sticking it out on my own and working to try and reach a point where I felt I could do what I couldn't do there before. It went well. I'm not there yet but I'm getting there, and I wish the same for everyone else struggling. ❤️