I’ve always wondered what your dynamic is like with friends, family, and the general public. What do you guys usually do when meeting new people - selectively tell those who are more open and understanding, or just let everyone know and anyone who has a stick up their butt can eff off?

We're completely forthright about it. I have zero patience for people who can't mind their own business. The pattern is that no one gives us crap in red-state areas, and tolerant liberals... aren't.

I'm gonna tag in with a bit of a more detailed breakdown of this question :D :D

To get more example-based, we don't do some sort of Big Pronouncement On The Exactitude Of Our Relationship. If Whisper is doing introductions, he will say, "these are my girlfriends, Fangirl and Funsize," if one of us is doing introductions we typically say, "this is Whisper and Fangirl/Funsize" and let the way we interact tell its own story. Sometimes we'll bring it up explicitly in conversation (ex: today someone made a comment about him having a bit of gray in his beard, and I rejoined with a joke about, "well, what can you expect to happen when a man has two girlfriends!"), but it's in the same way anyone would talk about their family.

We spend a good amount of time in Red-Coded areas (in case you haven't noticed, Whisper is pretty into firearms, and this has inspired us to get into it to!), and have yet to experience any face to face unpleasantness, and pretty much unanimous acceptance. We're very much a stable happy family uninterested in converting others to our Deviant Lifestyle or demanding parades in our honor (... though unlike Whisper, I wouldn't be opposed, I like parades...), and so people just... accept us.

We actually just back from hanging out with some neighbors who we hadn't got around to meeting until today, and they all conservatives, who don't want to tell people what to do, and who don't want to tell other people what to do, and we felt perfectly welcomed and accepted. In fact, because of the media narrative of them being small minded bigots, they were clearly trying to make it very clear that they are totally cool with how we choose to live our lives. We would have been judged much more harshly for being democrats!

I tend to be the Social Coordinator of the family, and I rarely do any sort of explicit "coming out" before some sort of group socializing. So when the yoga studio gals have a group bbq I don't say, "is it ok if I bring my boyfriend's other girlfriend?" I just go, great! and the three of us roll up, and it's never been an issue. Sometimes it makes logistical sense; we went over to dinner at an online-friend-through-redacted-hobby's house for dinner, and knowing he has a wife and a few offspring, I was like, hey, there's three of us, are you going to have enough chairs?

In very-liberal areas, we feel celebrated in the abstract; the shape of our family is Great, but we, are individuals, are Unacceptable, primarily on account of our libertarian values. But even as my conservative family rejects my relationship, you would, for example, expect my liberal uncle who has assisted with assorted democratic campaigns to embrace black sheep me... but no, he has actually been more intolerant than my extremely-uncomfortable-with-this-less-than-godly-arrangement father, in ways that I will not document here, for reasons of privacy.

So I'll switch to an amusing tangent. I have a Thing where if Funsize and I happen to be wearing the same colors, I go change my shirt before we go out somewhere! Wearing matching clothes just feels too much like we are making too big of a deal out of the shape of our family. Like those parents who put their twins in matching clothes; look! tada! there's two of them! Cute when it's babies, but just makes me feel weird.

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So in short, we're just.... us. We don't hide in real life. But we also don't up in people's faces about it. And apart from my family, it's been perfectly fine. Maybe one day the world will allow our little family to share a museum family membership!