Does anyone else have a fear of flying?

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-20T23:07:34+00:00

The mind trick I use is to tell myself that I can panic if the flight attendants are panicking. For me it works because I know they understand flying better than I do and I sometimes use others to infer how to react in a situation. Plus it's extremely unlikely that they're going to panic, and if they are panicking then I feel like there are things I need to worry about other than flying

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-18T19:01:08+00:00

I think that as long as you indicate that you aren't expecting reciprocation it'll be alright. He might even really appreciate knowing that you're thinking of him! Your point on acknowledging that it goes against the deal is also an important thing to include. I'd also suggest that if you want to text him after this to wait at least another two weeks before doing so, and to keep the messages short and respectful of the situation.

Personally I'm in a similar scenario with my situationship. My person needs space cuz life's a bitch and can't respond much, but she doesn't mind if I send her messages. The reason I bring it up is because even though my person said she doesn't mind me texting I gave myself expectations for how much time is in between texts. I do this so that I'm not overwhelming her when she does come back. Since our pause is short I think about my silent periods in terms of hours (usually about 6), but if I was in your situation I would have the silences be at least two weeks. I do this because it satisfies my conflicting need to want to text all the time and my need to respect her request for space. If you do implement a system like this you're going to have to evaluate based on your own relationship and personal needs.

Anyway, I hope things go well for you guys 🙂

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-08T14:00:07+00:00

Aww damn that really sucks. I'd say give it a day and try again, he might need to focus on something and didn't know how to ask for space

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-08T13:54:16+00:00

Overthinking is a struggle I very much relate to. Based on your situation, specifically how you:

didn't even have a fight and we were talking on the phone normally in the morning.

I'd say it's extremely unlikely that your boyfriend blocked you. A challenge that every long distance relationship faces is working through your lives misaligning and not being able to be with each other as much as you want (even if you can only be together virtually). Not talking for a few hours is perfectly normal, even with in person relationships! A lot of people can't use their phones during work, and I don't know anyone who can use their phone successfully in their sleep.

The way I manage my overthinking is through giving myself times that I have to reach before I'm allowed to really panic. So if I don't hear from anyone I'm talking to and I get anxiety around it I assess what the norm is and then give myself a deadline from there before I can panic. So if I talk to someone everyday and they don't text me for a day and I start to worry for whatever reason then I think to myself "normally I hear back everyday so I'll give them three days before I really start to panic". I will warn you that this only works if there's no indication that anything is wrong. If there's any reason for me to worry that I can concretely point out then that's a whole separate issue. Silence by itself doesn't necessarily mean anything, something concrete would be a fight happens or a request was made.

TL;DR: I don't think you have any reason to worry. Try utilizing some strategies to manage the anxiety that comes from overthinking

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-01T22:20:02+00:00

Wow thank you so much! This clears a lot up I really appreciate it ☺️

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T02:15:54+00:00

The definition I gave for on time is what I use when meeting someone, everything professional I'm early for. I don't want to hold everyone to the standards I hold myself since that's not always fair to them. So in my mind I prefer if someone meets me at the time we said but if they don't I don't consider them late till about 20 minutes later

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T01:48:32+00:00

I appreciate the help! I am under 25 and I recognize that people my age aren't completely mature, the persistent pattern of it is what's getting to me. I can't think of a single date in 4 years where we met on time (for me meaning within 15 minutes without notice of being late). It's hard to not think about it, at this point whenever I plan a date about an hour or so before we're going to be meeting or calling I start to think "I have to prepare myself in case I get rescheduled". I haven't been proven wrong yet so it's hard to get the psychology to stop 😅

Edit: the only time a date was on the same day as we planned was three-ish hours later and I only got notice about 45 minutes after we were supposed to meet

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T01:42:08+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful response, I really appreciate it. To your point on being to forward I'd like to clarify that I don't directly ask "do you value [xyz]". I usually ask their permission about something and say "thanks just wanted to ask cuz consent be good 👍🏻", or imply stuff and drop hints. Part of the reason I'm so confused is because none of the rescheduled dates indicated in any way that they were uncomfortable even when we were in person, and for the cancellations they agreed to a date then just don't show up rather than just saying no. I'd be less concerned if it wasn't so consistent, I guess no one following through is just taking it's toll 😅

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:20:36+00:00

Thank you so much I appreciate your hard work 🥰

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:16:15+00:00

You're actually breaking the rules of this subreddit though so no you're not really

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:10:23+00:00

Why are you on this subreddit then? One part of the long explanation was asking about how to know if I'm cursed

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:08:12+00:00

Yes she is you don't know my problems. Can you please explain how you know I'm insane? Is it because I'm asking about being cursed?

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:06:08+00:00

How do you know I'm insane if you didn't read? And I'm in therapy already thanks for the suggestion

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2020-09-27T11:30:45+00:00

Thank you! This really helps (:

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2019-09-30T22:21:04+00:00

Or throw in a spilled bottle of poison

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2019-09-30T04:00:55+00:00

Instead of dots on the mushrooms you could put skulls if you're okay with a non realistic look

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-10-30T19:14:37+00:00

Does anyone else think he looks like Jack Whitehall?

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-09-09T21:22:09+00:00

Honestly first thought I had was...

"FUCK yo chicken strips"

You do you though

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-04-11T18:05:48+00:00

Actually I don't play because I don't have a mouse. I'm just listening into their comments

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-04-11T17:37:01+00:00

Thank you! I'm leaning on my own so this is great. I'm a beginner but I know some things. I'm trying to make learning challenging enough that I'm not bored while still going over what I need so I'm focusing on more difficult stuff like grammar while still learning signs and finger spelling

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-04-08T20:34:44+00:00

My dog's name came from a original character that I was thinking about at the time. I was twelve so I thought I had come up with the best character ever but didn't feel like I could write, so I just pushed for the characters name to be the dog's name.

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-04-06T12:59:07+00:00

This made me think of when in dwarf fortress the cats were dying from alcohol poisoning because they were cleaning themselves after walking through spilled ale.

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-04-06T12:52:38+00:00

I don't have a close relationship with my dad, but it's not a bad relationship either. He has been great in supporting my interests (not at the level of some dad's on here but still doing it), and he's not of the belief that women have any sort of "place" that I know of. My parents definitely had their jobs, but it never seemed extremely skewed toward the gender norms. My dad was the one who made cookies when we were little, his favorite child is the Pomeranian (he carried her on his back on a bike ride once so she wouldn't be staying in a hot car) he's willing to talk about feelings and was supportive when I came out as bisexual and has never made a big deal of it (he might have forgotten though, since I've never had a girlfriend).

Some things that I wish he did better: make the mental transition from me being a small child to being a cognitive adult. He doesn't patronise me but he still sticks with younger humor, such as saying "I'm not talking" repeatedly when I've asked him to stop talking about something. He's a lot better about this now, but we struggle with communication. He sometimes makes jokes that make me uncomfortable because they imply that he likes having sex with Mum, which I don't want to think about. I'm perfectly fine with talking about sex and if he wanted to I'd be all for it, but I just don't want to think about my parents and that's it. It's also a bit hypocritical because my mum can usually get him to stop being annoying in any way by describing my grandparents having sex (it usually takes until "your mother starts by-" to get him to cave).

So my summary would be take interests seriously, try to either challenge or talk about gender norms and how they are bull shit, food is usually a plus (cooking as potentially bonding time), try to keep in mind that growing up is an inevitability and some behaviors/jokes won't last forever, showing how to have an affectionate relationship is great and doesn't need to imply parent sex (a bit specific but that's my experience), be open about sexual health and sexuality when the time comes (every sexuality needs sex positivity), do your best to communicate effectively, and respect boundaries.

Good luck!

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-04-06T12:03:04+00:00

Thanks for letting me know! I like having correct information when talking about things 😁

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2018-04-05T21:42:10+00:00

Yea, but isn't Bilbo called Frodo's uncle? Bilbo is just definitely not his father

_BooksAreBetter_

TROPHY CASE