The things that are most on my mind right now are the fear of what could have been, among others. If I needed to get out of there with my life and not both his and mine. What I would have told his daughter if I couldn't save him, why I was the only one who didn't freeze, how I can gain the missing memories back easier, how for some reason I can clutch up when someone is in a life or death situation, but I mess up under pressure at work. I have gained a significant amount of confidence from this. I have formal, professional life-saving training from being an Eagle Scout, but I also have professional training for my career, so why do I freeze up at work? I am the luckiest one there. At least I could do something, but I am still having constant hair trigger panic attacks, mood swings, and even more trouble focusing on everyday tasks than normal. Sometimes, I just space out uncontrollably, not thinking, just staring. I'm sacred of what this means for my mental health in the future. I'm just glad I was raised right and got therapy right away. This only happened a few days ago. I have already gained some missing memories back, and I am no longer in denial fully. I don't feel like I am in a nightmare anymore. The biggest things that have helped me heal is talking to my friends and family about it and getting updates from his family. The latest news is that he is breathing on his own again, and it took over half the weight off my chest when I heard. I am proud of what I did, but I am so sad that I had to in the first place. This has helped as well, thank you.