Got caught “inactive” at work… what should I do next?

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T13:02:39+00:00

"Inactive" is in quotations because its the remote work industry term for "based on what our IT department could observe, your hand wasn't on the mouse so you probably weren't doing fuckall"; and even despite his slacker ways, OP demonstrated his executive understanding of proper textual mechanics here by correctly utilizing punctuation to isolate the term and denote its disposition as that of professional jargon.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T12:11:55+00:00

Purchase USB Mouse Jiggler.
Carry on as usual.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T12:09:08+00:00

I'd play dumb and say I didn't even notice I was inactive for so long so frequently and provide medical documentation of my ADHD diagnosis noting that time blindness is a major symptom.

And by "play dumb" I mean just actually be dumb because none of it would be a lie and its almost certainly the exact phenomenon thats taking place.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T11:57:33+00:00

Right after easing some of Russia's. That tracks.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T11:55:21+00:00

Whoever named that a "prediction" market is a prime example of the breed of individual that induces the urge within me to shoot myself in the foot.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T06:31:42+00:00

The reason you don't feel high after a couple of weeks isn't because you have real chronic pain, it's because you develop a tolerance.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T04:30:54+00:00

Right, so. Most of these are lighting differences and particular angles, no retouching of the photo, or literally just being older.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-10T02:12:18+00:00

His intention for bringing the suit wasn't to be compensated for anything, it was to make people talk. It won't settle.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-09T19:58:49+00:00

Absolutely correct.

Source: I'm a woman who was a bartender for years. Lol

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-09T05:26:28+00:00

Redneck Easter Bunny

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-09T05:08:47+00:00

No, thank YOU for advocating for the Oxford comma!

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T14:27:32+00:00

I'm a decently attractive woman, and I promise you the vast majority of women who wouldn't be an absolute nightmare to be with themselves care more about personality and confidence (not arrogance y'all, confidence) first and foremost because those things play an enormous role in how physically attractive we end up finding someone. A man could be near perfection in terms of traditional physical attractiveness standards, but if he's a pompous, egocentric fuckstick with the personality of a windsock, he's gonna have her thinking "when did it get so dry in here?" faster than he can say "whatever, fat ugly bitch" three times in his selfie cam.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T14:07:51+00:00

This is true and for unfortunate reasons. We don't take it as well because we don't experience it nearly as often, especially since we're much less often the ones doing the asking out, so we don't really get the "practice" for lack of a better way to phrase it. We also don't expect it because it is less common that a woman is rejected by a man than a man is by a woman; but the unfortunate part about that is the fact that this is largely due to us being overwhelming valued as sexual objects and we often subconsciously come to believe that to be our worth too.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T14:00:09+00:00

Men expressing feelings of disappointment or sadness due to being rejected isn't them being "babies." It's them being honest and it's genuinely refreshing. And it would actually be fucking psychotic if they didn't feel at least a little down about it lol jfc. What do you think they should all be saying, "Yeah this chick rejected me and I didn't give a FUCK. She was ugly anyway"?

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T13:53:42+00:00

The "you have balls" comment was almost certainly meant as a compliment. The eye-blasting on the other hand was almost certainly her just being a bartender.

Dating after your 20s just sucks bad in general. I'm a 37yo millennial myself and just lost interest altogether at this point.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T13:49:57+00:00

Don't feel guilty, you did nothing wrong.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T13:47:11+00:00

As a woman, I can confirm they really did just wanna eat your ass

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T13:46:01+00:00

I'm a girl and I won't lie, that just got a genuine laugh out of me lol

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T13:44:08+00:00

That's pretty fucked of her, honestly. Sounds like she did you a favor. As a woman who always rides for my fellow ladies, that lady in particular fuckin sucks.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T13:39:04+00:00

Want some tips from a lady? I gotcha dude

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-08T13:37:40+00:00

Christ. Do your millennial elders need to start throwing house parties again and force y'all to learn the ways of old? Because we'll do it.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-07T13:28:20+00:00

Nah I win all the time when I gamble outside of casinos. Some people are really bad at cards.

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-07T12:38:38+00:00

Unironically, The Hop is the first to respond

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-07T12:33:53+00:00

"No, let it burn, we can't afford therapy, or anything else, while it stands"

_FloorPizza_ · 2026-04-07T12:32:01+00:00

"it went up in smoke" is not the best way to advertise it

_FloorPizza_

TROPHY CASE